Reviews of eHarmony

Mike, have you really read our reviews?

I had 288 matches in 3 months. I got to meet ONE. Unbelievably, this seems to be a fairly typical success rate.

Is your rate any better? If so, you're a better man than all of us combined and we'd like to know your secret.

If there was a zero Yes I would give it. I started Eharmony in late March. To this day which is june 24th 07 i have not one match...not one. Excited to say, my membership is over. I xxxxxxxx'ed out...this is terrible. I would really like a total refund. My membership runs out in july. I have read all the previous reviews, at least these people got matches..geez I received nothing. ZERO. Then the suggestion they told me was to change my profile and some of my tolerances and so on. Thats saying to lower my standards and change who I am and what I want in a companion. Are they Nuts. I demand a refund...can I get that please.

The matches I received from eHarmony were fake sent when membership was about to end. I enjoyed match.com whos members were open to communicating and starting relationships that could either die or grow. eHarmony is a come on. Thanks for allowing me to vent.

I admit that I only used eHarmony for about a month, unlike those who used it for months, so my experiences were limited. But I withdrew my membership mighty quickly for a reason. I kept being matched with older, white men. I have no problem with that, except that older, white men don't typically want to date young, black women like myself. Hoping for the best, I decided to go ahead and communicate with these matches, but when I began communicating with some of them, we clearly had little in common. I'm not even upset that my matches eventually ended communication with me - it was bound to happen. My annoyance is really with eHarmony for hooking me up with people who clearly had little in common with me.

Even more annoyingly, I was displeased to find that while I checked the site daily there were only a 3 or 4 days where eHarmony was able to find matches for me. I spent 3x less on other dating sites, where I was able to meet a plethora of new people. A little later, I tried out Yahoo! Personals and at least I actually met a few people, made a few friends, and I did go on a few dates. There was no luck like that with eHarmony - not even a phone call.

lol, have you ever noticed how men and women say their own gender has the roughest time on these dating sites? I've read about every spin to this claim of who it's worse for. But the thing is, it's impossible to tell with eHarmony because of it's matching system. I believe these people had a hard time with the site, but I don't think their difficulty is related to their gender.

The problem with eHarmony is how they pick and distribute matches to their members. The fact that a member has only a handfull of matches to start is a BIG RED FLAG. Then members being matched with other members who live a thousand milies from each other is another one of eHarmony's Red Flags. The matching system is poor at best and they only use these impossible matches because they don't have anyone to match with Joe/Jane Doe.

The reality is the site's just too hard to use and too expensive for people who lead normal lives. Many people just don't want to sit behind their computer and sift through their matches at eHarmony... It's not their idea of fun.

I guess it's good! Maybe I'll use """The Secret""" and create a more successful system. Then I'll sell it to Google. What I'm saying is there's money to be made in this online dating industry. It's appearent when you look at the best sites on the net and see how successful they are when it comes to matching members.

"If you happen to be a woman, you know that the odds are stacked against you from the start."

Oh, boo hoo hoo. My 3-month membership is ending soon. I've been matched with about 300 local women, which sounds great, but:

At least half were expired members. That is eHarmony's dirtiest secret. Either they never look at you so their match status never changes from "View Match Details" to "Start Communication", or they never respond to 1st Questions and simply sink to the bottom of your match list. They're not really there. This is inexcusable.

Of the active members, a third closed me right away and I closed about a third right away. I closed matches with children, matches whose profiles ranted about one thing or another. A few tried to initiate communication but insisted on hiding their pictures. When I asked them to reveal the pictures, they closed me. That's just great.

There were only about 20 real "possibles" that I communicated with. I initiated some, and some initiated with me. Almost all raced through the first two guided stages, which require very little thought, in 2 or 3 days. Then most went stone cold at the 2nd Questions stage, where you have to think a little but have the opportunity to demonstrate your personality and develop the other person's interest. Some eventually responded to Nudges (a notice you can send after 7 days of non-responsiveness) and continued the process - but ladies, know this: having to Nudge made me resentful and a LOT less interested in you as a person.

I made it to Open Communication with 9 matches out of the original 300:

Two simply never replied to my first OC message. Not a word. And keep in mind that if a man sends the first OC, it's because the woman initiated the communication. So what's that all about?

Two wanted to argue right from the start. Disasters.

One sent messages at a glacial pace. But she wrote about her life, she wrote while traveling, she claimed to want to meet. But after declining every suggestion of meeting that I made, she closed me cold-turkey with the canned answer "I have too much going on in my life", not even the courtesy of an actual written message. In such situations, you get no opportunity to send a final message yourself. It's a crime that eHarmony allows people to be so inconsiderate and/or fraudulent.

Two stopped replying after a few messages. Perhaps they wanted to be "pursued" but that's not how I play the game. I closed them instead of resorting to Nudging or other tactics.

I met one match in person. ONE. Out of 300. She claimed to be 5-foot-7 in her profile but turned out to be maybe 5-foot-1 on a good day. A pleasant enough meeting but no spark.

As my membership ends, I've got one match remaining in OC whom I might meet someday, and one who may or may not ever enter OC. I haven't gotten any new matches in over a week, although I'll be curious to see if I'm given a fresh batch to look at as my expiration date nears. (Keeping in mind that half of them will be inactive members...)

So, Abbie... tell me again how the odds are stacked against the women. I am convinced that the women eHarmony matched me with were not at all serious about the process. Or they signed up and as they started to interact with their matches, they became terrified of the whole thing. These are probably not women that I'd want to meet in real life anyway.

I've posted more comments about my eHarmony experience on eharmonycracked.blogspot.com . This site is required reading for men new to the eHarmony game. It is just a game, and you must not treat it as anything more than that.

For the added expense and laborious task of filling out so many questions, you may feel so very hopeful upon joining. The promise of a new approach is so very appealing. For all the money and hard work, you would hope that only the serious-minded would be bothering with this process. But I think it is unwise to have any raised hopes. You may be better off saving your time and money. Initially, I received an overwhelming number of potential matches. Initially, everyone sounded so promising. However, when I continued with the process beyond the canned answer options, my hopefulness diminished. Once futher into the process of open communication, most of the matches could barely put two words together without making spelling and grammar mistakes. Without the help of canned answers these candidates proved to be more than inarticulate; many were complete fakes. I then realized that most of these matches were categorized as "flexible matches," out of the realm of what would seem logical. As I revised my settings to reflect more reasonable choices, suddenly my matches dwindled to just about zero. So much for flexibility. There was really no filter whatsoever for honesty and integrity. This process offers no assurances and in my experience little hope.

If you happen to be a woman, you know that the odds are stacked against you from the start. Eharmony offers no better odds for women than any other site. I did meet one man through the process. He was halfway decent, and that quickly becomes exceptional. But he was 2 hours away. Clearly that distance made no sense for him, when he could have so many options closer. He revealed how many matches he was receiving; seven times more than I was. Clearly, he could have the pick of the litter. Ordinary men can choose among extraordinary women. Men receive so many more matches, that women should be aware of these odds. Most men joining I think really are just looking for casual sexual encounters, not serious partnerships. So what else is new? This site is not any better than any other. It just costs more and takes more time. For that, I don't think it is worth the effort. For those individuals for whom this site has worked, kudos to you. I have instead become too discouraged to continue.

----------------------------------------------------------- Reviewed By EDK Easton, PA

Sex Male

Rating *

Date June 15, 2007

Visit eHarmony My 3 month membership is drawing to a close. By my last count, I received about 140 'matches' of which NONE and I repeat NONE were a viable match candidate. As first, I communicated with approximately 50% of the matches, irregardless of whether they had a photo, until I realized that the whole process was a lost cause. eHarmony even allowed me to re-take my dimension profile about 1/2 through my membership but didn't help. I'm a 41 year old male, great job, conservative, and spiritual but not religous, and fairly handsome.

I've narrowed the problem down to this: Unless you are a Christian conservative that frequents church on a regular basis, you're thrown into a pool of 'everyone' else. eHarmony probably thinks because you don't go to church that you must be a liberal.

I've been matched with people obsessed with animals, without jobs, wanting to have children at 40+, or are just so far away from me as to make it impossible to meet. Oh, and then there are the Nine Ten'ers. (that's the new term for people that think the world is the same as the day before 9/11) Two emails back and forth and they're talking about how great Obama or Hillary are, cut me a break!

I don't normally support litigation, but I would assume that in the future someday a class action suit will arise about false matching. Even the cities within the mileage radius selection are incorrect.

eharmony sucks, don't waste your money. -----------------------------------------------------------

eHarmony sucks alright but you seem to have some pretty profoundly disturbing preconceptions of your fellow human being going on there.

You sound like you are going to continue to be alone until you learn to be a little more accepting of differences and a wee bit more tolerant. If you are fairly handsome and have a great job why are you having problems finding a nice lady? You sound like a pretty self confident, self assured guy.

???

BTW, there are never going to be any class action suits because they don't actually promise anything.

My 3 month membership is drawing to a close. By my last count, I received about 140 'matches' of which NONE and I repeat NONE were a viable match candidate. As first, I communicated with approximately 50% of the matches, irregardless of whether they had a photo, until I realized that the whole process was a lost cause. eHarmony even allowed me to re-take my dimension profile about 1/2 through my membership but didn't help. I'm a 41 year old male, great job, conservative, and spiritual but not religous, and fairly handsome.

I've narrowed the problem down to this: Unless you are a Christian conservative that frequents church on a regular basis, you're thrown into a pool of 'everyone' else. eHarmony probably thinks because you don't go to church that you must be a liberal.

I've been matched with people obsessed with animals, without jobs, wanting to have children at 40+, or are just so far away from me as to make it impossible to meet. Oh, and then there are the Nine Ten'ers. (that's the new term for people that think the world is the same as the day before 9/11) Two emails back and forth and they're talking about how great Obama or Hillary are, cut me a break!

I don't normally support litigation, but I would assume that in the future someday a class action suit will arise about false matching. Even the cities within the mileage radius selection are incorrect.

eharmony sucks, don't waste your money.