Reviews of eHarmony

If you don't mind letting an automatic system (based on a 'personality test' which you take on a one time basis) match you with someone based on some unspecified factors, and don't mind paying $60/mo minimum (reg. fee for 1 mo) to receive only a handful of matches who may or may not be participating/paying members--then I suppose eharmony might be worth the risk. Personally, I think their system is a bit overrated and overpriced.

However, you do take a risk with any of the internet matchmaking sites. But I think it would be unfair to entirely blame eharmony or any site for bad dates, as some are prone to do. They don't conduct scientific psychological tests, investigation/background/credit checks; nor do they recruit from the local model agency. It's unfair to blame these sites for your misery if youre already unhappy with yourself, unhappy about being single, and generally unhappy about life. Eharmony is not going to suddenly improve your life.

That said, as long as you have patience, perseverence,and come without a lot of high or unrealistic expectations,you can have a positive experiece--even with eharmony.

If you want to try eHarmony, don't let any of these people talk you out of it, or into it. Do what YOU want. They are a business, and they do want to take your money, but they do provide a service, so that's reasonable. And you will get matches, and some of them may not be people that you see yourself with, and some of them will be. Whoever is picking these matches can't possibly know exactly what you want or need because they don't know you. But they can give you options, which is their job and the rest is up to you. I have used several online dating services and I can say that eHarmony has done something for ME that the other ones haven't-for the most part they have matched me with people that I have been at least interested in getting to know. I have had a lot of matches and communicated with quite a few guys, and while it hasn't exactly worked out how I wanted, most of them have been good, interesting and intelligent people. Anyone can put a profile on match.com and not fill out half the information and get matches, but a person who takes the time to fill out the eHarmony questionnaire (and believe me, it takes a long time) is at least serious about meeting someone they are compatible with, or they wouldn't bother. You have to do the work of deciding if you want to communicate with someone, or not, but I really believe you will get better choices from eHarmony. But that has to be up to you.

I'll give them four stars because I like the way the site is set up. And really, I do think that their matching system is pretty good. However, in the seven months that I have been a member, I have had very little luck. Though, most of my complaints are about the site's members.

I have only made it to open communication with about 5 of the nearly 100 women I have been matched with. Most of them either close me out, don't respond, or put me on hold. Personally, I think the whole "put on hold" feature needs to be done away with. I, myself, am sick to death of women putting me on hold, giving as their reason "I am taking a break from my search for a while, but may be interested in communicating more in the future." That is lame, and putting people on hold should not be an option. Why? Because we all know that if you put someone on hold, chances are, they won't be back.

Also, from reading through some of these reviews, it seems that the women tend to have an aversion to requesting communication with the guys. One even said that as a rule she never requested communication. If you are a woman who feels this way, here is what I want you to do: Go find the nearest calender. Now, check the year on it. If it is current, it should say 2006--not 1956, 1942, 1922, etc. In other words, ditch that outdated philosophy and request the communication if you like the guy! Yeesh, and to think we've come this far, and some people still think that way.

In addition, if you for any reason decide you don't want to communicate with someone, want to stop because you are no longer interested, or just took the questionare because you were bored and have no intention of joining the site (like about 75 percent of my matches), then for the love of Corn Flakes, just close the communication. Yes, I may be a little disappointed, but at least I'll know where you stand--and I can move on, too. Don't leave me hanging out in the wind wondering if you're ever going to write back. And for heaven's sake, DO NOT put me on hold! Because like I said earlier, we both know that if you put me on hold, you won't be back (okay, I'm sure there are people who have put people on hold and then came back around. But based on my experience, I'm sure that is a highly exceptional scenerio).

And about the whole photo thing: If you're going to take a look at my photo and decide that I'm too ugly (which I'm not, btw--I'm not overweight, nothing is out of proportion, etc.) for you to bother with, at least have the decency to show YOUR picture before closing me out, giving as your reason "I don't feel the chemistry is there." This is probably a personal pet peeve more than anything else. To me, it just seems really unfair. I don't know.

Well, that's all I have to say for now. I guess I'll just end by saying that if you are not serious about finding that special someone, then get the heck off eharmony and all other dating sites on the web, and quit wasting us serious peoples' time.

Good luck everyone.

Steve, I'm with you regarding the Annas of the world.

I've been an eH subscriber on and off during the past two years. My matches total 300. I went all the way to Open Communication with about ten especially-promising ones, and of the two guys I met, I dated one for about five months total and the other for nine months. Nice, quality guys.

I just read a blurb online -- someone stated that eH has "spoiled" him/her in that it allows the opportunity to get to know someone quite well before meeting. That is so true! (Think of it: you know NOTHING about that cute stranger sitting up at the bar. By the time I've talked with an eH match on the phone, I've had their stats, a good idea of their past relationship issues, hopes/dreams, interests, personal space needs, whether they have/want children, and much more) Yes, it can be tedious, yes, it's a little pricey, but it's also interesting, worthwhile, and kinda fun!

Life is too short to be critical and fault-finding. Smile, give things a try, and use all the pretty-color crayons as much as you can. And, incidentally, that's EXACTLY how you'll attract the healthiest kind of partner.

12 months, 80 matches, 3 responses, 1 date.

Majority of matches were from women who signed up, but did not subscribe.

I was not impressed with their service at all.

Complete Ripoff, especially at the $60/month fee.

This is in response to "Anna" from the previous 12/12 post. You must be kidding me! You expect to use this service for FREE and that's the reason why you rate this 1 star? Give me a break! Let me break down what's wrong with your review:

"1 star is being generous. I was considering joining, but after reading everything here AND taking my own experience into consideration, I realized it's not worth the money."

--Ok, you SHOULD NOT be commenting this service if you NEVER even joined to experience its full features!

"See, I just did their questionnaire to see what makes them so special since that doctor in the TV ads sure wants me to think that they're special. Well, the questionnaire is nothing special. Anyone with half a wit could sensor themselves to come across with a much nicer personality than they have. That's the first flaw."

--Show me a test where you can't "sensor" yourself to be "nicer"? Anybody with half a brain can dupe any test! The whole point of this is to be honest! Also, just because somebody "sensor" themselves does NOT guarantee more matches. People look for different things, and some people might not look for the "nicer" guys/girls.

"The second flaw I noticed at this site was that when I was done with my questionnaire, it was already sending me matches. Some were clearly out of my 30 mile range. Two of the men 'start communicating' with me. I try to do the polite thing and reply, BUT I CAN'T until I pay a membership fee. Considering that I had seven guys to pick from, it didn't seem worth the $60 (or more if I join for multiple months). But I can't tell these guys this. I have to put communication "on hold" and pick the most fitting multiple choice answer to explain why I wasn't continuing communication."

--Again, you expect to use this service for free, and when you can't, you call this a "flaw"? One of the reasons they don't let people merely respond is because if you indeed are duping the personality test, you probably WON'T pay the hefty price to join. It keeps freaks like you OUT of the system. Even in Match and Yahoo Personals you can't "freely" communicate without paying! You're living in lala land if you think you "should" be able to response for free. As for the 30 mile range, SET YOUR SEARCH CRITERIA!

"The reason I'm explaining all this is because these guys were clearly paying members who believed I was a paying member that could respond to them. So they honestly believe they're getting valid matches. Yet, how many of their matches (or mine if I would to join) are just people who are taking the questionnaire and not officially members? Eharmony is saying I'm someone these men can choose from, but technically I'm NOT. I wonder how many people have gotten matches that aren't members? The whole thing is very disingenuous. And out of my 7 matches, I bet only half of them were actually members! This doesn't even take into consideration that they'll probably keep my profile up there for God knows how long just to bait other future members."

--Again, because you are NOT a member, you are merely speaking out of your ass. Yes, not ALL members are paying members, but they are a business...and they SHOULD be sending you matches to entice you to join. I get many matches who are paying members, and many who aren't. But it's not exactly hard to tell. Paying members respond in a timely manner or they close the match. You tell me another service that DON'T have this problem? Yahoo? Match? In fact, I'd call this service BETTER because I don't see any "ad" or "spam" profiles. Maybe you are female and you don't notice this, but for guys, that is a huge problem! If you can "respond" without paying, how do I know you aren't a "spam" profile wasting my time? Next thing I know, you have a sick uncle in Nigeria and I should send you some money! Next time, don't "bet" on anything! Don't talk about something based on guesses.

"After that and the reviews here, I'm steering clear from this site. They charge far more than they're worth. They're really not any better than match.com. I'm sure match.com has had couples meet and marry just like eharmony. They just don't pimp it to the tune of $60 per month per member, and that's what makes this WORSE than all the others."

--Again, assumptions makes an "ass" out of you. "I'm sure match.com has had couples meet and marry just like eharmony"? What??? Are you kidding me? Is ANYTHING in your review based on FACT? Next time, TRY the service out before you talk. Don't get mad because your parents refused your request for the $60. I'm glad you aren't joining, because I sure wouldn't like to be matched up with a pessimistic, presumptuous person like you.

Look, I'm not saying eHarmony is perfect, but I've tried many other services and this one sure is one of the best. Yes I understand that eHarmony doesn't help your confidence like match or yahoo personals by barrage you girls out there with tons of emails from guys...but honestly, how many of those emails are what you are looking for? I'm in my late 20's, well educated, a professional, and keeps myself in shape. I've gotten NOTHING but frustration from other "meat market" services. I had a date the first week I've joined eHarmony, and will have two more this weekend. I've gotten about 80 matches so far (member for 3 weeks), closed (or got closed) by probably 45 of them, but is in open communication with about 7-10 of them so far! These people are quality girls whom I can honestly see myself with. I've met all of ONE person on Yahoo Personals after a month, not to mention sending about 150 emails during that time. eHarmony evens the playing field between guys and girls. Again, eHarmony CAN improve in certain areas, but it's the BEST service I've tried yet! You get what you pay for, and this certainly one of the BEST $60 I've ever spent!

Terrible. A real rip-off. They were matching me with people hundreds of miles away, although I specified wanting someone within 30 miles.

Other requirements -- such as age, academic/professional background -- were ignored.

"Rip-off" is too generous a word for eHarmony. I wish I could give it a negative rating.

1 star is being generous. I was considering joining, but after reading everything here AND taking my own experience into consideration, I realized it's not worth the money.

See, I just did their questionnaire to see what makes them so special since that doctor in the TV ads sure wants me to think that they're special. Well, the questionnaire is nothing special. Anyone with half a wit could sensor themselves to come across with a much nicer personality than they have. That's the first flaw.

The second flaw I noticed at this site was that when I was done with my questionnaire, it was already sending me matches. Some were clearly out of my 30 mile range. Two of the men 'start communicating' with me. I try to do the polite thing and reply, BUT I CAN'T until I pay a membership fee. Considering that I had seven guys to pick from, it didn't seem worth the $60 (or more if I join for multiple months). But I can't tell these guys this. I have to put communication "on hold" and pick the most fitting multiple choice answer to explain why I wasn't continuing communication.

The reason I'm explaining all this is because these guys were clearly paying members who believed I was a paying member that could respond to them. So they honestly believe they're getting valid matches. Yet, how many of their matches (or mine if I would to join) are just people who are taking the questionnaire and not officially members? Eharmony is saying I'm someone these men can choose from, but technically I'm NOT. I wonder how many people have gotten matches that aren't members? The whole thing is very disingenuous. And out of my 7 matches, I bet only half of them were actually members! This doesn't even take into consideration that they'll probably keep my profile up there for God knows how long just to bait other future members.

After that and the reviews here, I'm steering clear from this site. They charge far more than they're worth. They're really not any better than match.com. I'm sure match.com has had couples meet and marry just like eharmony. They just don't pimp it to the tune of $60 per month per member, and that's what makes this WORSE than all the others.

Big waste of time and money. I called to cancel within three days of joining. Most states have a law commonly known as the Three Day Right to Rescind. It was instituted in the 1970's allowing people three days to change their mind after signing a contract. It does not exist as far as eHarmony is concerned. Adding insult to injury; they emailed me with a "special 60% off the regular price" two days after I signed up but would not refund any of my money to at least cut my losses. In the three day period since signing up I received one match who a week later has not responded leading me to believe that he is a non member. There is nothing about my picture or profile that would keep me from getting matches if they had any to match. I checked out another dating site which allows you to have a free trial period and I got matched with pages of guys who were viable candidates for dating. And, as others have mentioned, the customer service people are deaf. This company cares not for you or your experience. DON'T GET CAUGHT.....

I would like to give a hollow star or better yet, astronomically speaking, a black hole. You've seen their commercials. The good ole doc beaming as he gives a joyous rant of just how wonderful their system is matching people. Then, they drag out those 3 to 4 smitten couples giggling all over themselves. Well, try to contact them or get some help AFTER you are "commited". They should put their customer service people on tv. Thats the real eHarmony right there. Oh!, but they can't! Because they virtually don't exist! Similar to all the wonderful matches you are going to dive into. ... Note to dating agencies, get some REAL customer service people...cheerful people who ENJOY helping others...pay them more so they will stay...instead of going down the back alley to "Hire by Hour" to find some cheap jerk or witch who doesn't give a flip about anything except what time their shift ends. You save a few dollars with cheap staff, but you pay an enormous price in lost business. A customer comes to YOU! Right to your doorstep and then you're going to treat them this way? No wonder you need so many happy commercials. Think about it. If you live in a smaller area, forget about local or even semi-close matches. Once people figure out whats going on they leave, or maybe better stated, they start "attempting" or "trying" to leave. If you don't read it at their site, don't expect them to be forthcoming or to ever hope to find an answer. There seems to be other "criteria" for matches which they don't bother to mention. For example, age. Its not what you want. Its what they "envision" (based on whats available).