Reviews of eHarmony

Eharmony uses employees (or perhaps scripts) to trick people into joining.

After reading the reviews, I decided to test Eharmony to see if it really was a scam.

I, and a few others, started accounts on the site without paying. After a certain amount of time, we recieved communication. We signed up, to pay, and for the first 6 or so days, we were involved in canned communication with who we assumed to be another person somewhat interested. However, the communication stopped right before open communication would begin or on the 6th day on EACH of our accounts!

And that is e-harmony's scam. They contact random users with fake profiles to encourage them to join. Once they join, they string them along for the trail period, and cut them off at the end. Then they restart contact right when subscriptions will end with another account.

As for the dating aspect of the site - it tends to draw overweight/unattractive/divorced/mothers by its very nature - by giving you the option to hide your picture and not allowing memebers to "browse" users, it's a great alternative for women that don't do so great in the 'real world' due to their looks to start communication with the more desperate of men. You may luck out, but the vast majority of women are those that most men would find 'undesirable' for various reasons.

While no one aspect is everything - there's no point in having a romantic relationship with someone you aren't physically attracted to. Looks aren't everything, but they are SOMETHING, and the site blatantly ignores that (just as women can't seem to filter based on height, men can't seem to filter based on weight or other things).

The site is a brilliant scheme that preys on a certain demographic; I actually wish I had thought of it.

To the last commentor. Maybe you should listen to what the EHarmony people are saying and "step out of your comfort zone." EHarmony does not impress me but if there has ever been a moment where I have come close it would be this one. I have never heard someone from customer service give such an insightful comment. In other words, "think outside the box." Like Devil's Advocate, I'm tired of the online BS and women with inflated egos. Obvious they aren't doing it for the sex but as a reflection of themselves in public. When a man is shallow it is expected. When a woman is, its just plain perverted and sick. Why? Because women are by habit relational creatures and find the best looking guys through intimacy and emotion, not contact and sex. Unfortunately men are wired differently. If women are really shallow it would be better placed in a man's personality, not his height or looks. Then you would be following nature. However, all too often the feministic movement tells women to treat men like they are treated, "objects." Therefore, betwee society and the amount of responses they get on the internet, which usually isn't a reflection of reality, they want someone that is tall, dark, and handsome. AND they won't settle for anything less. Thank God the internet is not a true representation of reality. If that were the case I would never have had the honor of dating some beautiful women in my time. No I'm not gorgeous. Just a 29 year old exercise fanatic with a masters and decent paycheck. But what separates me isn't any of these shallow connections. It's my personality, humor and all, and it's the very thing that will get any guy a decent girlfriend.

I agree with Devil's Advocate 100%, and sorry savvy from the east coast, but simply assuming men lie about their height is no excuse. This woman is picky if she is letting an inch or two determine whether she goes out with a man.

That's like a guy saying he will only date a woman who is 110lbs, if she is 115 or 120 no way! He would be severely limiting himself if that was his "starting point". I don't think Devil's Advocate was saying men can not be picky, I think he was simply pointing out how foolish someone can be.

If someone wants to set unrealistic starting points, yes that is their decision. But when you complain on a review page that a dating site is bad because they don't have enough people good enough for you, don't be surprised when someone tries to open your eyes to face reality.

Regarding Eharmony, overall I think it is no better then any other online dating site like lavalife, yahoo personals, and match. In fact, I was sent matches of people who were members I recognized from those sites.

Overall I think it is too expensive for what little they do..which isn't much.

to the devil's advocate: you're right, 5 9 is tall for a woman. but a man who says he is 5 9 is usually shorter than the woman who is 5 9.. and thats when both are in bare feet. hmmmmm.. why is that?

regarding height, one night stands & pickyness:

height: actually, most men seem to exaggerate their height by about two inches. a man who says he is 5 9 is usually 5 7.

i think it is because men give their heights in shoes when they are standing very very straight. women give height in bare feet.

one nighters: i'm not so sure there is a correlation between height and shallowness of the one night stand in men. i think there are as many "love'em and leave'em types" who are 5 8 as 6 feet tall.

being picky:

men are picky, too. 50ish men want 30ish women; pot-bellied men want lean shapely gals. physical attraction is linked to sexual attraction and relationships need a sexual spark. -- and the spark has to be there for both individuals.

== conclusion:

everyone has an ideal. that's ok. doesn't mean we'll all find it, but it is a starting point for looking for someone.

For Samantha from Atlanta, 5'8-5'9 is not short for a man. It is actually the average height of males in the United States. If you are this height as a woman, YOU are tall. I can understand some women would prefer to be with a taller man, but to make that one of your ultimate criterias is severely limiting yourself. For example did you know that only 11.7 % of men in the US are taller then 6 feet, and only 6.3% of men are taller then 6'1?

Women, instead of looking for a trophy husband that you can show off to your freinds, here's a new concept.. why don't you try actually looking for someone who is a good person. WHO CARES if he is 2 or 3 inches shorter then you in heels!

Although I am not a fan of eharmony, these picky women will have a difficult time at any online dating site because they are looking for Mr. Perfect. When they do find their 6'4 knight in shining armor.. by the way real knights were only 5'5-5'8 in medieval days.. they will complain he doesn't make enough money, is losing his hair, is slightly overweight, or doesn't share exactly the same interests. And then they will sit back on their flabby butts, yet consider themselves fit because they go to the gym a few nights a week, and whine "Where's all the good men!"

I'll tell you where they are. You see since they are lots of other women who are looking for Mr Perfect, all these guys are either snatched up, or don't need to go online because they are snatched up so quick off line they don't need to bother. The ones that are left online.. we are probably down to about 1 or 2% now.. have so many women writing to them they can pick and choose young women from their 20's and early 30's. No not women that think they look this young, women that are really this young.

I know a guy who is 6"1 and who would make a perfect trophy for a picky girl's mantle (tall, has hair, and some money). He tells me he gets dozens of messages weekly, picks the nicest looking, has sex with them and then moves on to the next best piece of meat.

So goodluck with your search!!

I joined Eharmony a month ago. What a waste of time and Money. I only signed up for a month. I got very few matches And all of them lived Thousands of miles from me. Are there no single women on the East coast. The whole experience was not worth the effort. Don't waste your money the only person making out with this deal is Dr. Neil Clark Warren.

I have to agree about the short guys on eharmony. I already mentioned to a friend of mine about that. Most of the men are 5'8" - 5'9". They have paired me with men that are physically not compatible. I am more than willing to date someone a couple numbers below me but I have standards. Short, bald and unattractive is not my soul mate ehamrony.

Having tried a few internet dating sites, and even some of the non-internet based ones, I can say eHarmony was the only one that seems like it was a worthwhile effort. All too often I'd pick one who wouldn't even have the decency to reply back, or have the attitude that if you didn't look like Tom Cruise then you aren't worth much. Then I tried eHarmony. Granted, it's not for everyone, but it was well worth the effort. The personality profile it produced was spot on, and it lets you get past the more meaningful things first. I communicated with my match for about 3 weeks before we met, but after 16 months we only continue to get closer. If you want to meet someone based only on a photo and what they think they are, use match.com. If you want to find someone based on much more meaningful criteria, use eHarmony. If you have the patience, it will certainly pay off. I was a member for 6 months and had over a hundred closed matches before I found the one I love.

eHarmony tries to overwhelm you with pictures of smiling, happy couples and they try to make you believe that all you have to do is sign up and your soulmate will just magically appear.

That isn't what happens. A lot of people who get sent to you are not members and can't even reply. The matches don't seem like they went through any sort of selection process and just appear out of nowhere.

They use smiles and hugs couples to distract you. They are doing the same thing as everyone else. Happy soulmates draw you into fantasy land and out of reality land where you might question how they match people or realize that the 29 dimensions that the commercials babble about don't exist. You're too distracted with finding your soulmate to think about the actual logic behind it all.

I read a review and saw this quote which I think holds water:

"I believe that by logging into my personality profile questions upped my position. I have come to the conclusion that 29 dimensions is a clever marketing tool and a load of crap"

I do not recommend eHarmony. It is just like all of the other sites except you can't search their profile database like you can on Match.com

It's too bad that 29 discriminating variables don't mean anything if they fail to properly discriminate or have no power to begin with. The 29 dimensions are merely a distraction from the fact that his model, in reality, is a mere marketing tool and based on observations. This guy is a Ph.D. What do Ph.D.s do? They write books, and the site is just a promotional tool for his books. Look at Mr. Warrens' bio, you can buy his books right there on the site.

If Mr. Warren's model is really valid perhaps he could post a link on his personal site to published research papers that outline his methodology and help verify his claim; at least post the results if he does not wish to disclose the details. Of couse, not disclosing your methods is contrary to the whole concept of a Ph.D. publishing so that the theory can be independently tested and verified. Otherwise it is just fluff. All the articles you find on his personal page are non-scientific and none involve the sort of scientific rigor you would associate with a quantitative, personality matching model. I have searched and as far as I can tell, Mr. Warren has never been published in a scholarly journal. If he truly created a valid quant model of relationship compatibility the guy would be the biggest thing since toast and he would at least be cited somewhere. However, it seems that he is more interested in validating his ideology than his model.

The whole service is just a way to promote and attempt to prove Mr. Warrens anecdotal relationship theories and his books on relationship theories full of nothing but casual observations. The entire process is a model based on his books (which have no scales or measures in them. You'd think a guy who invented a model with 29 dimensions would at least have a small interest in the quantitative realm), and the entire site is just an attempt to unscientifically prove a crappy model and promote Mr. Warren's books (which are also anecdotal and non-scientific, like his 29 dimensions).

Mr. Warren's real "29 dimensions" are simply the multiple choice questions and haves/cant's that are mentioned in his books ad nauseam. The 29 dimensions are just marketing fluff used to trick consumers into believing their is a quantitative base to an anecdotal model. Mr. Warren has no published material (in scholarly journals) when it comes to his 29 dimensions.

Join any other dating site. Mr. Warrens says that he is more than just a picture and a paragraph, but his service is nothing but every other dating site plus extra restrictions (no searching, communication stages), more money per month, and some fluff thrown on top to seem like it was made by smart people.

I'm sorry Mr. Warren, but antecdotes do not pass as scientific theory unless you are a scientologist, which we all know you are most definitely not. Your zealous and clever attempts to force-feed us this concept of soulmates, marriage, nuclear family in one month using a flawed model shows how desperately you want it to succeed so that you can use it as anecdotal evidence that enforce your Judeo-Christian views. When it comes down to it, it is STILL about the picture and the paragraph. Buyer beware.