Reviews of eHarmony

I was very disappointed for the following reasons, eHarmony sent: 1. potential matches who were not members. No wonder they didn't respond. 2. potential matches who had no photos posted, even though I had set my preference to ONLY included matches with photos. Many of these were non-members as well. 3. potential matches who were completely out of my preferred age range. No offense to the active 70 year old, but come on, a 25 year age difference just isn't what I'm looking for.

All in all, I felt eHarmony used my profile as a marketing tool more than a matching opportunity. I felt the site was dishonest. Even when I called customer service to inquire about my observations, they side stepped direct response to my questions by having scripted suggestions to respond with, e.g. "We notice you only have 3 pictures posted, we provide space for 12. Posting more pictures will increase your potential for matches."

Live and learn. There's got to be a better way to find all those available good looking men that Oprah says are out there, eHarmony is not the way for sure.

I was a member several years ago. I joined for a year because of a low rate I was offered and the money-back guarantee for the one-year subscription. I received very few matches, and several closed the communication before I even had time to check their profile. At the end of the year, I applied for a refund based on the limited number of responses I received (we're talking maybe six over a year's time), but I was informed that I was not eligible because I had paid monthly - something they failed to mention when they made the offer. I've been inactive for quite some time now, but like the reviewer before me, I've recently started receiving lots of matches, from all over geographically, most of which don't meet my other preferences.

I think it's just a ruse to get people to sign up to communicate with their matches, who are probably people like I am who aren't active and won't pay the fee to respond. On-line matches are a good idea, but I seriously doubt if there's any way to make it work. It's bad enough that so many people misrepresent themselves, but the sites are also unreliable.

Dear Scarlett of WI,

You are either not reading and understanding what the others are saying or you choose to ignore the details.

Not *all* of the complaints could be user error.

Just yesterday I called to complain that:

* Why can't I limit my match radius to less 30 miles?

* Why must I click on each 'Closed' match in order to remove them from my lists? Where's there a means to remove them en masse? I had cancelled my membership back in March of 2004. I signed up again two days ago. The old matches are still there. Almost of those are Closed. What does that tell you?!

See also TIME magazine's article "5 Worst Websites" of which eHarmony is one.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1638344_1638341_1638336,00.html

I am *so* thankful I only paid for one month!! Ten business days before the renewal, I'll cancel, via email and certified return receipt letter.

Oh my God, I can't believe all the complaining. "I forgot to hit the submit button", "the help number was "hidden"", "I got matched up with people from all over the world"...what a bunch of crap. I have been on eHarmony for a little less than 3 months and have had none of these strange problems. Here's a hint people, make sure you call and cancel if you don't want to be charged, don't wait until after they charge you and then say you want your money back. Who forgets to hit the submit button and then blames someone else?? I have called eharmony 4-5 times with questions, the number is NOT hidden as someone suggested. I was going to write them but then saw the number to call, so I called instead. Every time I called I got someone very polite and knowledgeable. I have gotten 5-7 matches every single day except for about a period of 4 days, so I called to see what was going on. A setting got inadvertently changed on their end and they actually extended my membership for the 4 days I lost even though I was still able to communicate with the matches that I already had during those 4 days. I have my matches set to be geographically close to where I am located and eHarmony has only matched me up with people that did not meet my specifications on a few occasions, and they let me know that they used "flexible matching" in those instances (where they might ease up on the age restrictions you set, or distance). I just don't understand how people can be having all these problems that they are claiming to have since I am using the same site---a lot of the issues appear to be user error, not eHarmony's doing. Just like having to put warnings on hot cups of coffee, we can only do so much to protect some people from their own ignorance. It's not a bad site and I have met some very wonderful sincere people in my short time on the site. My stink with them is that I get too many matches. I have had to go through over 500 profiles and decide to answer them or close them out and it has been very time consuming. Some people get owly because it takes me so long to get back to them and they close me out before I find time to respond.

I did two tours of duty on eHarmony, and this was before I learned of its dubious Christian Fundamentalist underpinnings. Before that, I had occasionally played with Match.com, and various other dating sites, all of which led to funny, memorable (but ultimately terrible) dates. I especially hated match.com, because it seemed to be populated by imbeciles.

Ok, so what is the bottom line? I have to admit that I met the love of my life (and my most perfect match possible) after about six months on eHarmony, and we have been married for three years now (after dating for a year). And the marriage keeps getting better. But why the two stars? Because I honestly believe that our meeting was pure chance, and not anything to do with eHarmony's matching process! I think that perhaps eHarmony (at least four years ago) attacted sincere people, who were not necessarily the dregs of society (as on Match.com). AND THAT IS IT! The rest of it was all poppycock. Once you get past the obesity / unemployed / stature minefield with any luck, then maybe there is a chance to find someone. However, considering that I was also matched with my wife's (former) friend (or rather, friend of her ex-boyfried) who really is nothing like my wife, and with whom I have *nothing* in common, I dont think much of the questionaires. Also, I am agnostic, and I was matched mostly with Jewish women. Agnostic does not equal jewish, nor did I want to be matched with ANY kind of religious nutjob, including jewish, muslim, or any other kind of person who worships a supreme being. Also, I put in a lot of fake information to weed out the gold diggers, like some of the women in these reviews. So I have to agree.... eHarmony is a crap shoot, just like any of the other dating services out there. But at least when I was in it, I at least had a pool of women who sincerely wanted a longterm relationship. Unlike match.com, which at the time was merely a place to meet someone for a quick, meaningless, superficial relationship.

I was quite satisfied with the quality of the few people that I met on eHarmony. I suppose my issue was with them was being cancelled without any explanation. I was going to close the account soon anyway, but when curiosity got the best of me, I attempted to contact them to find out why they closed my account. I called them to talk to a customer service representative, who in turn advised me that I would have to snail-mail a letter of inquiry to their Customer Service office. I also received an email stating that the reasons for account closings are confidential, and that no explanation could be given.

I'm not a particularly religious person, but it has come to my understanding that the site is in some way associated with James Dobson and the Focus on the Family organization. I do not wish to perpetuate such a disturbing rumor, so if this isn't true, then I apologize. Perhaps if anyone knows for sure, then they can relate the connection elsewhere in this forum. Of course, if it is true, then that would explain some of the shady and capricious practices that occur.

When this possibility came to my attention, I thought back on any and all of the correspondences that I had generated (quite a few), and I wondered if I had said or done something that might have flagged my account. Knowing the power of technology, and the overzealous nature of Dobson's ilk, I considered the possibility that I might have written something that was misinterpreted to be "morally" (according to their interpretation) inappropriate. I truly attempted to think back on everything that I might have said in a humorous or serious correspondence that might have been grounds for me being cancelled, but could not come up with anything from memory. I didn't have access to my previous emails, since closing the account blocks access to these, if they even keep them on record. That was my experience.

I have spoken with others who tried them. Most who have tried to cancel were told that they had to close all of their matches prior to being able to cancel. One person, who I'm very good friends with as a result of eHarmony, said that everytime she would close all of her matches, they would instantly send her new ones. Others have said that they make the cancellation process so obtuse, so as to make the quality of their customer service disingenuous at best, and downright criminal at worst.

If the operation of this site is based on some type of christian principle, then I would be leary of christianity. I'm certainly not impressed with the notion that they might be associated with "Dr." James Dobson.

what a POS. I was rejected for a selection that I made at the BEGINNING of the LOOONNG list of questions. Why put me through the aggravation if I am going to be rejected by that one selection??? Apparently, being in the process of divorce makes you unacceptable for companionship with another human. Oh, sure, they link you to their marriage help site - great help for abusive marriages. Forget divorce, this site is run by an evangelical christian.

I agree with everyone who says eHarmony stinks. I moved to SC 9 months ago and thought this would be a good way to meet people. I joined for 3 months and have already canceled my membership. I know I won't get a refund for the remainder of the time, but I don't want them to continue charging my credit card and will notify my bank if they do. I got the most horrible matches! It was as if they completely ignored the facts and opinions I put in my profile. The "mismatches" they sent resulted in NO dates at all. If you're considering joining this rip-off, please take a little practical advice: a dating service, no matter which one it is, can only provide men and women who have accessed their service or who are members. If the individual you should be with doesn't belong, you are wasting your time and energy. Better off joining groups in your area that do things that interest you, or a singles group in your church...that's what I plan to do now, and the hell with bottom feeders like eHarmony.

E-harmony was very unprofessional. My e-mail was flooded with "matches" every day from all over the world! I stated I only wanted to hear from people within 50 miles from me! It was a waste of time and I have been getting junk mail like crazy. They called to ask me to renew & I declined. 2 weeks later they debited my account to renew & when I called them and left messages & sent e-mails, I finall y got through to someone. I was told it auto renews & the phone call was from a service they hire & does not matter if I tell them I don't want to renew. I am not eligible for a refund!! BEWARE!!

My membership ended back in June. At that time closed all my matches, removed my pictures and edited my profile to clearly state that I'm inactive. I've logged in every couple of weeks since, just to see what eHarmony does. They continued to give me new matches until I got to about 10. For about 3 months after that, I got no more, and could not click on Find New Matches either. Then something strange happened. In November I started to get TONS of new matches again. I took no action on any of them, except to accept Close's. I can see that less than 1/3 of these new matches have taken any action at all - in other words, more than 2/3 of the new matches I've been flooded with are themselves inactive!!! This sure explains the number of non-responses I used to get, back when I was an active member.