Reviews of Match.com

All I can say about match.com is what a huge disappointment. I have been on the site six months, had over 4,000 views and over 1,000 winks. And three dates. One with someone who was 5'2 who said he was 5'10. (I'm 5'8) Another man who had the biggest hang up about his ex wife who left him for a bloke who had an Aston Martin and the last one who I did quite actually like who seemed so genuine but was just a player out to get some action. So if you want to have your faith in men tried then this is for you. I do not advise anyone to join.
It isn't real. I think the general attitude is to try and then move on to the next 'wink'. If you are genuine, you are wasting your time.
Sadly, I think that not just the men, the women too, think that they can get something better than the last. Therefore constantly moving on to the next. This is what basically happens on Match. Don't get sucked in, if a man emails you, don't be so niave to think you're special or have found the one. You'll be the one for one night. I had some pretty explicit emails, blocked around 30 men and had constant winks from men I had already said 'No thanks' to. This site is not for the lonely hearted, you will leave it feeling even more lonely. I think the problem is there is just too much choice, it is literally like a meat market, and everyone seems to want to 'try before they buy'. It seems to give one the false sense of 'plenty more fish in the sea', well, there isn't. It's really quite hard to meet your match and I'm not sure that paying to do so is quite the way. Good old fashioned cafes and museums or joining clubs is the way forward.
I retired at 37 and modelled for 5 years in my 20's and went on to do a MA in Architecture.

I am not sure how useful all this will be that I am about to say, but I have thought carefully as to why Match.com tends to disappoint most of us. I think that, one, this is because we (most of us at least)lay at the feet of this soul-less, imaginary, virtual place the most vulnerable part of our being, that part that seeks out love, that most fundamental space in our hearts and minds that must be filled. Because of this, we come with great expectations and are that much more sensitive and quick to bleed when we do not quickly find what we came for.

Two: At a practical level, we all are given access to people who may not otherwise be accessible to us in the real world. Our real world provides natural filters and logical barriers, and thus helps, strangely, to protect us from excessive disappointment. We tend to meet only those who are naturally within our orbit, our circle of friends, and friends of friends. The probability of being royally snubbed, ignored, rejected is thus minimized or at least, brought down to a predictable level. This goes both ways. 'Strange', very old, very young, or incompatible people we would probably never meet in our real world do NOT have access to us and therefore cannot insult us with their unwelcome interest or lash out at us with their anger if they are thus rejected. Too much incompatibility and having nothing in common are given free rein, and the result is chaos.

Three: In the real world, people have much less opportunity to misrepresent themselves. You meet someone at a party, at a bar, you see with your own eyes that they are, in fact, of average build, but have the most amazing sense of humor and you like they way they generally look. There is no need to entice you with lies as to a superior physique. You, in turn, do not end up disappointed because you were not lied to to begin with.

If one can understand the risks that come built into match.com, then one can better decide whether or not to participate. The conclusion that I come to myself, as has been echoed in many entries here, is better to go forth into the real world, do stuff, take that foreign language class or tango lesson, join that tour to Provence, and be found and possibly loved on your own merit.

Roberto and Mike, you both are typical of the men who frequent Match. There are many attactive 40 something women on Match, as well as men, however my experience as a attractive women is many "average" men will bombard attractive women with winks and IM, or email when they should be targeting "average women", who they will have more in common with....and would be a better mate. I'm in shape, work out but I don't go after men 10 years younger, I date close to my age and am realistic about my type. Yes I've gotten hits from younger men because I happen to look younger, but I am mature enough to know and wise enough to pick a better match for long term success - why I've done well.

I would suggest you also do the same, and I almost fell off my chair laughing........when you said the CEO's and DOCTORS have the good "trophy Wives", LOL. And sorry but there's also another word for "trophy", concerning these types of women, but I won't say because its not a compliment, but believe me, and I've known some of these women married to these types of men. It is not a happy life....like depicted on tv, lol. These women are there for the MONEY, and if their husbands happen to drop over, they wouldn't be all that upset. Its all about the lifestyle, how sad is that. And yes there are some wealthy people on Match, surprisingly, but my advice to everyone is be realistic about your lifestyle, and looks, and target someone in that range. If you a 49 year old man, and want 30 something women, your going to be very dissapointed at some point, because a woman that age wants someone her age or younger, and if she goes with you, (OLDER MAN).. its going to be mainly about elevating her lifestyle. Of course if you don't mind being a atm, then go for it. But what I find sad, most of these men delude themselves that they are in a "love relationship", and 9 times out of 10 its not.

So overall, its not Match fault...its the fault of men like Mike and Roberto, they are angry men because they are targeting women out of their league. Roberto, Mike... you both sound like average men so if you want a longterm relationship go after the average women that you have things in common, and you will end up with a mate. Its really that simple, and what I do and its works for me. So good luck to all and if you follow those simple guidelines you will also be successful!!!

All I can say is "good luck" on match. The majority of the females on there are looking for incredibly unrealistic expectations in a potential date/mate. When a "body type" is "about average", that means FAT ... athletic and toned means NOT TOO FAT .... slender means JUST SLIGHTLY CHUNKY ..... ain't Glamour Shots & Photoshop a great thing !!! And, it seems the majority of the females all want the same thing ... a younger guy who is perfect. I've got news for you cougars ... ya'll are has-beens with a lot of baggage, and a younger guy is only looking for one quick thing, then bye-bye ..... you cougars have such an inflated opinion of yourselves .... a younger guy is gonna look at you & compare you to a gal 10 years HIS younger, and YOU are gonna get dumped !
And, guys, don't waste your money to sign up unless you are a glutton for rejection. Good luck getting responses from most females that are younger than yourself and any who seem to be able to write an intelligent, thoughtful, honest profile. Doctors and CEO's already have the trophy wife and the little cute office girl on the side and don't need Match, so gals, get real ! A really nice, average or better than average guy doesn't stand a chance. And, of course, there are the rumors of the "bait gals" on match, who will respond, but not meet you, to keep you on the Match hook.
In other words, match is a loser way to meet any real, normal, not making movies in their mind, people.

I am disappointed with the online dating scene. First of all most of the women that are in my age range are hideous. I'm 42. (That's the reason why we guys look for younger, more attractive women. It does happen and I've had that experience.) There seems to be a lot of people who say they are looking for a good, decent man but per their bio what they want is something else. In general, most of the people are superficial.
I certainly would not get online and expect to meet the woman of my dreams and that doesn't come with any baggage. Everyone has baggage and the older you are the more you have.
Women who are on Match.com please don't write about what you don't want based on previous bad relationships. No wonder you're lonley! Barriers are a buzzkill. And don't put that you want a man whose at least 3 feet tall. B.S.!
Did I say most of the women are hideous? (Usually the ones over 30.)

To tell you all, I join the 'FREE' member version i.e. not going to pay one cent and the followings are the major restrictions:
a) can receive but CAN'T READ email
b) CAN'T SENT email.
c) Can send some sort of stupid QUESTIONAIRE mails ONCE and reply to it. CAN'T ENTER any TEXT in there.
d) CAN WINK and receive and see when other WINKS at me

Basically, if we don't pay, we can't communicate with any match members besides the so-called WINK ! So don't be upset if you only got winks and some stupid questonare emails without personal text because nearly all people there are NON-SUBSCRIBERS. They are interested but they CANT CONTACT you INSIDE. Paying the fee will never get you any proper response because not many people can indeed, contact you, unless you subscribe to the most expensive gold package that allow non-subsriber to email you.

Match indeed block and ban all contents that reveal any other way of communication e.g. email account, facebook, handphone number etc so that, we MUST pay for the 'gold package' or else it is considered NO COMMUNICATION can be done except ... WINK, in match.

I notice nearly all the members are NOT PAYING any single cent so ... if you are trying to use all the mechanisms in match to contact them, there is NO WAY they can respond beside WINK ! Even if you pay for the normal subsription ...

Is match totally useless? NO. You need to be SMART enough to think of some ways to reveal to ALL MEMBERS how you can be communicated, OUTSIDE match. This is the KEY!

I did that and managed to contact many members and met them outside. And, guess what, ALL of THEM I met, I mean ALL, are NON-SUBSCRIBERS ... they will put their profile there and wait for the SMART one to wink at them and if they like your profile, they will wink and contact you OUTSIDE!!! Use your intelligence to outwit the match mechnism ... :)

Based on 5 years of on and off experience meeting dozens and dating several; the reality of match can be summarized in one statement that the following wrote:

Badger 8297:

"The disparity between the genders on Match.com seems to cause the female users to overvalue themselves"

This is the understatement of the century. Because men in general are so much more willing to "settle" than females, men initiate emails at 5-20 times the rate of female subscribers....A mediocre females (a 4 or 5) will receive 10 to 20 emails in the first week of joining. Any female above a "5" may receive in excess of 100 emails just based on a picture (which usually is 15-30 lbs lighter than reality). All this attention contributes to the female sense of overworth, inflates her EGO and causes the "wait for the next better" effect. The sad thing is this can cause the more attractive female users to stay on match much longer than necessary to find a "relationship"...it perpetuates the idea that someone better will come along...Most of the reasonably attractive women beyond the age of 32 should wake up and grab a nice guys before they they find themselves infertile... (by age 38, less than 8% of a women's eggs are fertile!). It takes at least 3-5 years to meet, date, plan a wedding and conceive best case.
Lastly, I am never ceased to be amazed by the amount of women that feel "about average" body size means a size 12-18 dress size. About average should mean a BMI of 25...period. While both sexes lie about age, if a woman wishes to have a better chance of locking in a lifetime partner, she should should start her date range at her age and go up at least 20% of her age...This and "reasonable" expectations would contribute to more relationships and less time on match!

Alright my experiences with online dating have been nothing but positive. I have found that there are a fair number of attractive and successful women. Out of all the messages I have sent out to different women on the site, i have had exactly one that did not get responded to. So to all the guys who are on here complaining about how only 2% of the their messages get responded to; those are probably the same percentages you get when you are out in public talking to women. Why would the percentages change online? If all the women online were desperate and willing to go for every guy that messaged them, would you really want them anyway. That would tell me they were trash.

If you've been successful meeting people offline then you'll most likely be successful online. You gotta find a way to get your personality out there. If you take to online to complain, thats the wrong personality. Get some confidence and get it done.

The reality of Match.com is that it is about 70% men; I don't know the reason but you can do the math on your own. Just compare the number of males in your age range and area to the number of females and it almost always comes out the same, more males than females. This causes the female uses of match.com to receive a great deal more interest than the males, thus allowing the women to be more choosey with whom they respond too. The disparity between the genders on Match.com seems to cause the female users to overvalue themselves and undervalue potential male suitors based on stats such as height, income, body type etc. This situation is very frustrating to a male user who may lack in one of the key statistical areas that women desire, they are immediately dismissed if they show any interest based on their so called shortcoming. As a male user of Match.com I am forced to send out several e-mails only to have about a 5% response rate, then when I get a conversation going it generally never goes anywhere because as it turns out most of the women use the site as an ego booster. With all of that said, I would not recommend the site as a tool to meet your life partner. Don’t waste your time or money and go back to the “old fashioned” way of meeting people where personality counts and you are not competing with a horde of other men for internet scraps.

Match.com is by far the best dating site in terms of number and quality of members. The females are desirable and usually much classier than on sites like POF or OK Cupid. Because it is a pay site, you know the members are serious about finding someone and not just looking for attention. Sure not everyone is going to respond, but guys need to quit expecting, a "no thank you" response. That just makes things worse. Anyway, I found someone who was exactly what I was looking for. It's just like shopping at a department store, you need a little luck to find what you want, but if you do, it's well worth the time investment.