Reviews of Match.com

I am a 33-year old guy, average or better in looks, tall and reasonably fit. However, with the response rate I encountered, I might as well have been a leper.

In my month with Match.com, I wrote a total of 67 messages. In return, I received a total of two responses. And thats two total... no "no thanks" messages at all. I found myself thinking, if I can't make this work, how can anyone else?

However, after using Match for a month, I realized that my results may have been somewhat misleading. In my opinion, Match may be a bit of a scam.

Once my month ran out, two of the last women I contacted managed to email me back. What infuriated me was not that I could no longer reply through the site, but that Match had edited out the email addresses they had provided!! So all along, if I had been emailing women who were not paying members, my email address was most likely being edited out!! Which to me practically constitutes fraud; by editing the mail between members, the site is essentially selling something which does not exist.

And "winks"... don't bother. As I found out after my month expired, once I received several winks, the site would not even let me see who was winking anymore. My "wink" total continued to increase; however, I was not allowed to see them.

My advice about Match... unless they come up with a system where paying members can limit their search to include only other paying members (since emailing anyone else is evidentely a waste of time), avoid this site.

Match has a policy of 50 new e-mails a day ... unlimited e-mails a day with any individual you contact or who contacts you. Part of their Spam prevention policy. Helps flag them internally for review. They don't publicize it because spammers then work around the number. Not saying I like it or agree with how they handle it. Just saying that's how it is. There is also a limit on how many winks you can send out a day as well. Not sure what the number is.

I have been a paying member off and on for about 6 years, and not only have I found it completely worthless, I am beginning to suspect that Match.com may be involved in all kinds of tomfoolery, up to and possibly including outright fraud. The number of responses that men send+the number of responses that women say they receive+the percentage of messages women say they reply to+the number of replies guys get, does not seem to add up. The women I know who are on match don't report getting a lot of e-mails, but yet the guys I know who use it all send out messages by the hundreds, but rarely get replies to the messages they send. But the women I know who use it say that they send some reply to most of the messages they get. So where are all the messages going?

Let's realize something here: it is not in Match.com's best interest for people to hook up. That means they lose paying members. I suspect that Match.com might be delivering initial contact e-mails selectively. I suspect that there are a lot of fake profiles created by Match.com.

Either way, I thought it made mroe sense when non-paying member could respond to a paying member a few years back. Now that you must be a paying member to respond, I have gotten exactly ZERO responses to the hundreds of messages I've sent out. I'm hardly unattractive, and I've pretty good response rates on every other site I have used (Yahoo, Lavalife, Craigslist, others), so I think something fishy is going on with Match. And other guys I talk to report the same issue: they have to send out HUNDREDS of messages before they get any replies. I know women can be picky, but I don't think they are THAT picky. I think there needs to be an investigation into how Match.com operates. I suspect there might be fraud afoot, dating back to about the time they were acquired by Ticketmaster.

I admit, I was fooled. I suggest everyone read this site in it's ENTIRETY. If only I knew about this site BEFORE I signed on to "Match"! I was lonely-it was late-I was searching for THE ONE. I took out my credit card when I saw the perfect guy. I signed up-I was flattered at all the responses w/o my photo?? I thought wow! wait til I post a pic.... 2 weeks later my self-esteem is shot!! I am a full-figured woman and NO ONE is responding.I refuse to list my salary-it's no ones business. I can't list the type of work I do, because of security/privacy issues and now, it all kind of makes sense. When you are deciding if you want to join, Match. sends you these e-mails that someone is waiting to meet you. Then that person doesn't "materialize." The guy I was so interested in....gave me a "sorry, not interested"And one of those first responses that I tossed off like I was the Queen of England-I removed him from my "blocked" list and wrote him an " I'm sorry e-mail." I didn't even give this guy the time of day...I learned my lesson.Give the person that has taken time out to show an interest in you, a "yes or no" response.I'ts the right thing to do. You better believe when I cancel my subscription I have their addresses,phone numbers & BBBureau office #. Match better not take one cent more than what was agreed to! There is a review from Sept 1 or Oct 1 where a poster suggested: women take care of yourselves!! I agree. I am going to really try losing weight and make a good presentation when I walk out the door.Thanks everyone who took their time to post.I was taken for a ride. I hope you won't be. Put down the mouse & get out of the house!

Bottom line: I signed up for 3 months. Sent out about 40 emails total (over the 3 months). Met 6 women, ranging in looks from about 6-9. I have had intimate relations (i.e. sex) with 5 of the ladies (3 of them on the first date...I know this might sound hard to believe, but I swear on your dead grandma it's true!) Continue to have relations with 3 of the 6 (the better looking ones of course...I know I'm a pig). I am not trying to brag but I think the numbers speak for themselves. Yes, I faced some rejection & emails that stopped for no reason, but who cares! I'll take these odds any day. I cancelled my membership not because I was unhappy, but because I really don't have time to see more than 3 women at a time.

Looks-wise, I am not fat but I am no sex god. I am middle aged. I think I am about a 7 (funny how everyone considers themselves above average, myself included). Average income. Average car (8 yr old Camry) Average 1 bedroom apartment. I do know how to be confident, interesting & fun, but I never treat a woman like a queen. I wrote this because I am frankly baffled by the preponderance of bad reviews. I honestly think that if you can't get laid on using the internet, then you might be doing something wrong. Just my humble opinion.

THREE INTERESTING EXPERIMENTS

So I’ve decided to post the results of some experiments my other friends and I did on internet dating(mainly match.com because of it's large base). If you don’t want to read everything scroll down to the experiment and conclusion… and I did not list everything here but the main things. First off my English sucks so take it easy when you criticize my grammer. Second, Internet dating should only be one way of meeting girls for guys but since we’re hard core analysts we had to figure things out before we retired from internet dating…

These experiments were conducted in a controlled fashion and some people may not agree with the results but hey the proof is in the pudding and actions speak louder than words… Experiment A will be mine. I’m 33, 6’3”, Caucasian (from Eastern block country) Athletic, slightly above average on looks, make six figures and live in San Diego and Use Match.com(on and off for two years).

Experiment B will belong to my friend in Silicon valley…He’s 34, 5’8”, Caucasian( Born Here) extremely articulate, also makes six figs and slightly above average on looks…uses Yahoo Personals.

Experiment C will belong to my friend in San Francisco…He’s 35, 6’3”, Caucasian (from eastern block country like me ) MBA and English major, athletic, slightly better looking than both my friend and I but not great or spectacular. I’m a so we have a 7, 7 and 7.5 respectively…uses match.com and e-harmony

Match keeps count of how many people and who has viewed the profile…We E-mailed slender girls average to above average looks…that had fairly similar interest…no models…let’s be real…

The constants were…income, ethnicity style of the pics, height and some others. The variable was the person in the PIC for each of us…We found different pics of really good looking dudes and replaced them with ours or just created a new account so we can keep our account active..

Definition of a great looking dude.. well proportioned features and fairly chizzled features…

EXPERIMENTS Independently at different times we decided to put pics of a great looking guy on there and see how much this really makes a difference. The pics were similar to ours in the sense that they were fully shots and head shots…but pretty basic. (Experiment A) I chose a chizzled faced white guy from another site with black hair. The pics showed nothing in the background…just basic photos. I used match.com (Experiment B) My Silicon Valley friend chose a white dude with brown hair..laid back looking with again chizzled features…. (Experiment C)…My SF friend picked a white dude, blond hair blue eyes with again chizzled features. He used match.com for his experiment

Over the years we have changed pretty much all of the parameters in our profiles and typically still got only 1-2% response rate which never really went anywhere. We changed our pics, some of us took girls advice on what to change in the profile, lied about our income, height, interests, changed usernames, profile content, tried sending different types of e-mails with different tonality…like funny ones, slightly arrogant ones, nice ones…and the List goes On and On…

RESULTS: OHMIGAWD…Experiment A…I had attractive girls e-mailing me from other states…(these ones were part of the group that initiated contact) I have trouble getting in touch with just one local girl online !!. And check this out the… Tone in the e-mail was so apologetic and longer. Basically, the girls were kissing my ass. 50% of the girls winked or E-mailed would respond within 24-hours…and their E-mails were longer, they volunteered more information and they were nicer…I e-mailed above average looking ones as well as hot ones…The response rate was basically 50% and I could pick and choose…and could not keep up..

Experiment B…Again attractive girls would send many e-mails and the profile had a high response rate…Now here my friend was super articulate and witty in his E-mails when using his pic and got so few responses…but with the fake profile which by the way had no meat in the content girls would still e-mail.

Experiment C .This one takes the cake…in two months he had over 2000 girls view his profile.( a counter keeps track on match…). He would wink at the girls (no-e-mails) and immediately they would wink back or send an E-mail…(over 50% response rate)…how about that…girls say to never wink but look at this he would wink and the GIRLS would send the e-mail…and then my friend would reject them…Some of them would STILL write back asking why he changed his mind…or “well good luck with your search then”…What the #$$ C!! these girls are kissing ass even tough he winked at them and then rejected them…

CONCLUSION…

Well what do think…both guys and girls? Remember keep it real and only make statements if you have real data. It’s easy to use personal experiences or opinions rooted in the way you want things to be or expect them to be…. but it will only apply to a person similar to you…not most people..

If a you are an attractive guy good for you…you have a fighting chance on internet dating…Girls will way looks are not that important or will not stress it but then why does the response rate go up 20 fold when a great looking guy is involved… Match.com claims that it will allow people to “Match” but in reality most people don’t really pay attention to content in the profile.

As a separate exercise guys…and girls…walk downtown in your city and look at the next 50 couples…Start with Caucasian couples since they are in abundance…Look at the good looking girls and who they are paired up with…95+% of the time they are hooked up with 9’s and 10’s…

Hello,

I have registered to match.com for 2 years, and got a total of 5 emails (and about that many winks) from other users. I have been viewed about 290 times during the entire period. I have winked about 50 times to other people during this time. I was never ONCE able to see myself in the search results of match.com, whenever I tried for it. My related questions and finally complaints didn't change anything either. Above numbers I think speak for themselves. I lost my money and slim hopes for nothing (well only for frustration :)). Sadly, I now believe that match.com follows an ethnic profiling method and discrimination among their clients. This is the only conclusion I can logically reach regarding my absurd statistics. I cannot prove it of course, but this is the best part for them isn't it? Well played match.com. As a result however, I can give one star too many for them. They should be ashamed of themselves. It is a waste of your time and money, I would highly recommend to stay away from match.com.

Regards, Morkinson.

On 3 different occasions I've paid for a match.com membership and I've never had a problem with match.com overcharging me. On one of these occasions I just purchased the free trial, there was never a problem with match.com overcharging. I do understand your problem because I've been overcharged by other companies, when I bought a discounted trial from them. From what I've seen, many companies will charge you for the normal subscription at the same time as the discounted/free? trial. The only recommendation I can give you is to write the Texas State Attorney General. I've heard that when you write an Attorney General the best way to do it is through snail mail. I believe you can download the needed forms at the Texas state Attorney General's website. If enough people bring this problem to the Attorney General's attention there will be action taken on match.com.

The first time I tried match.com I purchased a 1 year membership. During the first 5 months I received 1 wink from a girl I had wrote. These dismal results had left a very bad taste in my mouth. The thing for me is I realized there must be a way to work the system, instead of getting P.O'ed at the system. Form then on I tried different kind of tricks with my profile text, emails, who I email, and my pictures. I even went as far to purchase several self-help books designed to improve a guy's dating and sex life. (The books only help if you can find a way to apply the teachings to Internet dating.) In the end, I found a way to work the system but using the system is like walking a tight-rope.

Some of the things I learned are obvious and some of the things I learned are not obvious. The most obvious thing I learned is to make yourself sound fun and appealing. No one is going to take a chance on a potentially boring date or a bad relationship. The second most obvious thing I learned is you'll only succeed with someone who's on PAR with you. Sometimes this is variable in the sense of compromise. One example is a single father or mother can find a Member of the Opposite Sex who has no kids but the M.O.S. they find will be inferior in some other area. A Second example is a chunky college-educated single woman only has a chance with a chunky college-educated guy, if she wants someone attractive she'll have go go down a notch in education/employment status. The last example I'll give you is, I would receive winks or emails from unattractive single women with no kids or attractive ladies in the 20yo or younger club. *I'm an attractive single father in my late-20's and I found my target group is single mothers in their early to mid 20's.*

The unobvious thing I learned is there are very few women who are paying for a subscription. Many of these women are hoping to get emails with contact information, of course you'll have to find a way to slip it past the censors. If they're interested in you but your attempt fails, they'll send you a wink. (I always used a second free account to see what combination works.) Another thing I learned is some of these women are on match.com to see what kind of guy they can actually attract. This brings me to the conclusion that some of these women have self-esteem issues. If you've ever used a picture of yourself with a lady-friend you'll get the question: "Who's She?" One big item I learned is the women who use this site are very skittish. If try too hard to connect with them they'll run away from you. I had a email exchange going with a extremely attractive single-mother. I took the chance of trying to prove I understood her and her reply was: "Funny, You know me so well". I never heard back from this woman. The last thing I learned is there are married women using match.com. A while ago, I met a lady on match.com who just seemed to be perfect for me. Over time and through Google I learned she is married to a rather successful man. The only thing that was different about her was her profile picture was somewhat blurry. ( I read from multiple sources that 25% of the men on match.com are married.) The unobvious thing about internet dating is the users logic. You'll only find a date with someone who's goal on match.com and life is similar to yours.

Match.com and Internet Dating in General is like everything else in life, it takes smart work to make it successful. The problem for many people is they expect nothing but good times from internet dating. They don't understand that dating in General takes skill and they will need to develop this skill with internet dating. With skill you'll be given direction to find what you're looking for. Like I said in my conclusion of paragraph 4, you'll find success if you can find someone who's like minded to yourself. Which is like finding a needle in the haystack but you probably won't find the needle if you're blind. I'm giving match.com 2 stars because I don't like the way it treats it members. I think that one day match.com will regret its unethical treatment of its members. The other reason I'm giving match.com 2 stars is because I think the internet isn't a real sound place for a guy to look for a date. You may have the same freaks and pifalls as the real world but decption can be practiced more freely on the internet. As well, you have the problem of the 2 to 1 gender gap on internet dating sites. The webmaster of this site seems to think it's due to the birthrate. I believe the reason is the norms of the dating world. Since men are the initiators of the dating world, they're the ones who have to deal with rejection in its highest form (face to face rejection). Men are more likely to use internet dating in order to avoid dealing with this form of rejection. Has internet dating thought of a way to even the odds? Probably not! This is why internet dating is virtually unfit for the use of the male public. Although, I highly recommend internet dating to any woman but she'll need to learn how to find who she's looking for.

On 3 different occasions I've paid for a match.com membership and I've never had a problem with match.com overcharging me. On one of these occasions I just purchased the free trial, there was never a problem with match.com overcharging. I do understand your problem because I've been overcharged by other companies when buying a discounted trial. From what I've seen, many companies will charge you for the normal suscription at the same time as the discounted/free trial. The only recommendation I can give you is to write the Texas State Attourny General. I've heard that when you write an Attourny General the best way to do it is through snail mail. I believe you can download the needed forms at the Texas state Attourny General's website. If enough people bring this problem to the Attourny General's attention there will be action taken on match.com. (The last time I wrote something urging the public to take action via the Attourny General on this website, edatereview's webmaster deleted my post.)

The first time I tried match.com I purchased a 1 year membership. During the first 5 months I recieved 1 wink from a girl I had wrote. These dismal results had left a very bad taste in my mouth. The thing for me is I realized there must be a way to work the system, instead of getting P.O'ed at the system. Form then on I tried different kind of tricks with my profile text, emails, who I email, and my pictures. I even went as far to purchase several self-help books desinged to improve a guy's dating and sex life. (The books only help if you can find a way to apply the teachings to internet dating.) In the end, I found a way to work the system but using the system is like walking a tight-rope.

Some of the things I learned are obvious and some of the things I learned are not obvious. The most obvious thing I learned is to make yourself sound fun and appealing. No one is going to take a chance on a potentially boring date or a bad relationship. The second most obvious thing I learned is you'll only succeed with someone who's on PAR with you (single-mothers only searching single-fathers). Sometimes this is variable in the sense of compromise. One example is a single father or mother can find a Member of the Opposite Sex who has no kids but the M.O.S. they find will be inferior in looks to themselves. A Second example is A chunky college-educated single woman only has a chance with a chunky college-educated guy, if she wants someone attractive she'll have go go down a notch in education/employment status.The last example I'll give you is, I would recieve a winks or emails from unattractive single women with no kids or attractive ladies in the 20's or younger club. *I'm an attractive single father in my late-20's and I found my target group is single mothers in their early to mid 20's.*

The unobvios thing I learned is there are very few women who are paying for a suscription. Many of these women are hoping to get emails with contact information, of course you'll have to find a way to slip it past the censors. If they're interested in you but your attempt fails, they'll send you a wink. (I always used a second free account to see what combination works.) Another thing I learned is some of these women are on match.com to see what kind of guy they can actually attract. This brings me to the conclusion that some of these women have self-esteem issues. If you've ever used a picture of yourself with a lady-friend you'll get the question: "Who's She?" One big item I learned is the women who use this site are very skittish. If try too hard to connect with them they'll run away from you. I had a email exchange going with a extremely attractive single-mother. I took the chance of trying to prove I understood her and her reply was: "Funny, You know me so well". I never heard back from this woman.

My gripe with match.com is the way it treats paying members. I don't really think it's ethical to deny paying members the chance to contact whomever they choose. (If you've ever studied business principals, you'll find bad ethics will result in a downfall!) Plus, I don't really know if this is the best approach for them to make money. There is a chance more women would sign up if they were allowed to opportunity to reply to emails. If match.com could attract more traffic, they could raise the price of their banner sales. Another thing that's hurting match.com and internet dating in general is bad word of mouth. (I've never met anyone who has had any success with internet dating.) The free-thinkers who have been burned on match.com will go out of their way to share their bad experiences. In a few years match.com and the internet is bound to run low on newbies, who haven't ever tried internet dating or don't know someone who has tried internet dating. For match.com to offer a bit of liberty to its members would preserve its long-term success.

personally, i'm ok with match.com. there's a section for your account where you have to check the box that says do not renew. but i'll guess that sometimes their computer errs.

but if you've had a problem, you should contact the better business bureau (bbb.org). i think you can write to the bbb online. generally, firms tend to respond quickly and solve problems when the bbb contacts them.

just be sure your letter to the bbb is clear, logical, and suggests the solution you think is fair.