Reviews of eHarmony

The profile was extremely helpful. That alone was worth the price, I guess. The women I met were many and we went through the process and did all ogf the Q & A things. I felt, however, that as thorogh as it was, it still wasn't finding what I really desired. Perhaps I'm so different that I am a hard case. I just never clicked with anyone and the selections were all chances, at best, for me. Of course, this is how we meet people and this is only my opinion. Just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean that others won't benefit. The success stories are many regarding the site and well worth the time if just for the printable profile.

No different than any other lame internet dating site. My experience has been similar to several others expressed on this site. "no response" - was prevalent. Got past the fourth stage with one guy, who was eager to meet (travel across states), then suddenly dropped out of sight - I think he migth have been married. Membership for 6months, no dates, one correspondence to level 4. I requested a refund, got nothing,because customer service is useless - a canned automatic response. \ I felt ripped off, and yes, once your subscription is about to expire, they suddenly send you a slew of "matches" and othe propoganda, designed to keep you coming back for more, like a puppy with a toy.

No more internet sites for me. I'll take a risk and try to meet men in person.

Where to start. That matched on "29 different levels of compatibility" stuff is junk. Unless somehow I am some kind of con-artist!

I started e-Harmony in the beginning of 04. Out of maybe 200 matches I went on three dates. First was a guy non-commital to any job. Next was a snob who chose me for my grammar. Then came a "nice guy". I dated the nice guy for about two months, up until he asked to borrow $4,700 to pay off his first divorce!

Lastly, when I was just about frustrated, I met what I thought was Mr. Right. I waited 35 years, this had to be the one.... it's a scientific match! Mr. Right told me he had minimal debt, but declined a pre-nup (as I owned my own home). Needless to say, we married, I took a second mortage to pay off most of his 53K debt. One year later, after I learned he drained the checking account, and ran up his credit card, he walks out. Oh, but wait, he's not done, he's got a lawyer and is trying to get the original money I placed down on the house (which I was forced to sell).

Don't believe the "campatibility", even if you are compatable, get a background check, get a credit report and tread carefully. I will never do it again. This site promoted a false sense of security. Talk to any divorce attoney about the number of cases they are handling from such sites, it's astronomical. Best of luck!

Give eHarmony credit for warning you about people who lie. They even give a list of warning signs. They were better than other sites I've tried. They were a lot better than blind dates set up for me by friends, and a cousin. However. In my one month subscription, I was sent roughly 40-50 matches. All were within my 30 mile radius. My 1st date was with a man who was incredibly wonderful. Just ask him. At least the shrimp was worth the trip to the restaurant. It's not the sites' fault that he was completely full of it. My 2nd, and final, date will be tomorrow with a man who may work out. Or not. That's up to us. Lots of my matches never answered, or went through a phase or two & I never heard from them. After a week, I just closed the matches. No big deal. I think my problem with this site is the same problems with all computer dating, personals, or introduction companies. Too much time, effort, expense, all focused only on relationships. I'm going to use the money instead to take classes in all of those things that I've always wanted to learn, and maybe along the way I'll meet someone with common interests. And I did not receive a sudden deluge of matches right before my subscription was up.

I liked the idea of creating a profile that would identify compatible matches based on various personality factors. That is why I chose to try eHarmony. After spending a great deal of time trying to answer the questions honestly I completed them, filled out the introductory info, and uploaded some photos.

I was extremely disappointed at the superficiality of the compatability of the matches it sent me. I provided sincere, heartfelt, genuine responses to the questions which are used to generate the much vaunted personality profile and was rewarded with very few matches. I found that the four step communications process encourages people to form preconceived notions based on the most superficial of principles.

I signed up for a three month membership. Over the course of that time I received about fifty some matches. A little more than half of those apparently found me immediately incompatible. Out of the remainder I found about eighty percent of those incompatible. That left about five I pursued communication with. I was never able to complete step three with any of these prospects before they either stopped responding without bothering to close the match or finally did close the match after being "nudged" two weeks later.

At this point I decided to look over the Dimensions advice newsletters for some inspiration and was instead confronted with the following article which I found highly offensive.

Copy and paste the following link into your browser: http://advice.eharmony.com/newsletter/volume55/dating-advice-0807.htm

From issue 55 of the Dimensions newsletter, from item number six, called "Underestimating a personality or behavioral problem.", of the eHarmony Dating Advice column entitled "7 Fatal Flaws of Faulty Mate Selection" I discovered that Dr. Warren casually encourages users to exclude those suffering from depression and other emotional illnesses from consideration as a compatible partner characterizing emotional illness as a “fatal flaw” to a serious long term relationship. His statements are not only insensitive but prejudicial and bigoted. It is irresponsible of a therapist who presents himself as an authority to so callously express such a viewpoint with so casual a disregard for the sensibilities of human nature.

I had a great deal of trouble trying to get a response from eHarmony to my query regarding this article in a timely manner and eventually gave up hope. I did not renew at the end of the the three month period. I would not recommend this approach.

I have been signed on with eH since March of '06. So far I have received 179 matches. 80-90% of them don't even reach Comm 1 stage. I believe that this site is being used just to get the Personality Profile that's offered free. One thing that really drives me nuts is that these 80-90% of men just let me hang rather than close me out. If they're not interested, why not close the match? Even some of my matches that did reach the communication stage failed to take action and close. It just does not make sense to me. I see that one of the male reviewers on this site indicated that his matches are doing this as well. It's very frustrating.

Overall I am dissatisfied. I believe eHarmony has great potential. I do not believe matches should be made with individuals who are in the free trial period. It's misleading, deceitful, and I believe, bad business practice on their part.

So, about the claim that eharmony floods you with matches right before your membership expires... well, I think it's true. But, I don't think it's a maliciously calculated move. You see, they send emails out to addresses in their database with a promo code every month that expires near the beginning of the month. You can save a significant amount using this code (now a link).

This causes more memberships to begin within the last few days of the month than at any other time. Because of this you will get more matches than at any other time. This encourages people to sign up, extend their membership, or just generally be more active. If everyone on the site is encouraged to be more active at the same time, more matches/interest develop - which is good for everyone.

...so I do not think it's a conspiracy, just good business. They do want people to connect, and getting more paid members is a logical way to do it.

But that doesn't mean I give this site a high rating. My problems are as follows:

1) You can't continue talking to/processing a match after your membership expires. If you go through the entire process with someone it could take a month before you can actually make a decision to talk outside of the site. I view the membership as a fee to be matched, not to communicate.

2) The selection process is suspect. I've seen some personality profiles who in no way match mine. Also, in order to get people who match your criteria, you must select "very important" otherwise their "flexible matching" will give you someone you should easily eliminate.

3) They don't have a phase out for matches who have not been active for months. Don't give me a match if the person hasn't logged on for a year.

4) Once I join, how about helping me out by telling me who members are. I understand keeping it secret before, but come on. It would let me know why someone didn't respond or close me.

I'm sure people can meet through this site, and I'll try through the end of me membership. But they sure could change these things to make it better.

Well, first of all from a usage point of view ...

It is a difficult system to manage and navigate. At this point I have some 1500 open matches and their is no way to keep track of them all. It is even a tedious process to try to close them, so i don't bother.

You have to follow their tedious process to get anywhere. After a while, their dumb little questions and "must haves" get tedious ... the responses are simply ignored, since they don't really tell you much. It's exhausting by the time you get to "open communications". However, the few who have made it that far with me have turned out to be pretty interesting/compatible. The down side is that they are from all over the world. So as much as I would like, I can't possibly pull that off.

I have learned a lot about women, however, probably things I wish I hadn't ... as they say, you really don't want to know how they make sausages.

A recommendation to women --- don't pose with your dog. If the one thing you can't do without is your "dog" -- or even worse, "dogs" -- I don't want to know. I used to like dogs, but I've found that relationships with dogs have changed mightily over the years. No, dogs are never just like family, they are pets. I can accept a woman's children -- that seems natural, but I don't want to have to fight for attention wih her animals.

Over 50% of the women have read the DaVinci Code. No, ladies, that is NOT an intellectual tour de force, so I am not impressed. Read Joseph Conrad, or Thomas Hardy, or D.H. Lawrence or Hesse. Then I will be impressed by your intelligence or love of the arts. No one has.

And get in shape. Sorry, I go through the trouble, and not just to look good. At our age, it is important, healthwise. These days, 50+ is not that old, so why look it?

Anything else you want to know? Just ask.

i have not found anyone who seems serious on meeting on this site. there really are not many matches that are found for a person. wouldnt recommend it to anyone..seems like a waste of money to me. wonder if there are any dating sites worth while online.

I joined eHarmony last month and was forwarded several matches and most of them were nowhere near who I would approach by myself. I did luck out and started emails to a few women that started out great. Well I did meet 3 of them face to face and they seem to want to "start the engine" but I call or email them a few days later and no response. I mean this is plain rude as far as I'm concerned. But after reading most of these posts I see that this is the norm. I have noticed that now I'm getting matches that are in the next state or even country in my case. I have closed about 88 out of 116 matches. 3 matches out of 116 total. Man I can do better in a dive bare for that matter, but then with my luck I'd would most likely run into the closed matches.