Reviews of eHarmony

Thanks for all the reviews. I have filled out the questionaire and received 4 matches--one of whom immediately cancelled because of distance. I have paid no money yet and, now, will never! Reading about "my Matches" that supposedly were chosen for me were not even close to the description of a match based on my answers to the qustionaire. Knowing that my signing up doesn't necessarily mean the matches have signed up was important to me. I will go back out and "find" my own match through the normal channels--bar, grocery store, talk to everybody I know and don't know--I am no Marilyn Monroe, but I am not bad looking and I did post my picture.

6 months ago I signed up for eHarmony.com to find someone. Six months later I'm still looking. This will definitely be the last month, it doesn't really work. I don't think I've met a single sane person on there since I've joined. Most of the women I've met on their were either fat or have serious drinking problems. And they have standards that are laughable.

Most of the the people who I've communicated with during the guided communication usually end up chickening out once we reach the open-ended questions. WTF ??? doesn't anyone know how to answer a simple question that a guy asks ? Oh wait that's probably why they joined eHarmony in the first place.

Here's a little story about someone who I met off of eHarmony. She was a complete psycho. We started out talking on AIM. When I asked her if she had a picture of herself, she abruptly stopped talking to me. Two days later the same thing. So I was figuring "Maybe she's not that into me" but the next day she left me an IM with her phone number.

The next day she left me about 3 IMs during the day telling me to call her right now. At the time I wasn't really in the mood to talk. It was in the middle of a family emergency and I wasn't exactly in a chatty mood but she didn't really seem to care all about my situation. She only seemed to care about herself and would always talk down to me. When I asked her why she wanted me to call her, since she didn't even seem to be interested in me and also that I didn't even know what she looked like she got all defensive and started yelling at me when I hung up on her. A few hours later, she left me a voice mail message tell me to call her again tomorrow. When I called her, at the time she wanted to me to call ere,, it was more of the same, she was very obnoxious and started to yell at me for not calling her sooner when I pretended to get another call and ask if I call her back later. I never called her again.

What I'm trying to say here is if you want to meet women who think to highly of themselves, and will treat you like crap, by all means sign up for eHarmony.

I've been with the service for about a year and a half and recently quit. Dating is a numbers game, but EH provided at most around 5 matches at a time. The sporadic frequency of the matches makes it hard to get to Open Communication. Think about it. Either you close off your matches, or they close you off. At best, about 1 out of 5 wants to start communicating, but that doesn't necessarily mean you end up in Open Communication.

The main thing about the service is not to consider it a magic bullet. Like any cross-section of people, your matches will range from the sincere to the flakey. As long as you're open to getting to know someone and vice versa, then you'll probably have a good experience with the service.

My only advice to people signing up for EH is that you should not write a barebones profile and expect a response if you don't post a picture. Unless you write such gifted prose that you're on the shortlist for the Pulitzer, don't expect your one-sentence responses to be sufficient.

The most indefensible problem with eHarmony, as I see it, lies in their business and customer service practices, or lack thereof. All criticisms of the matching aside, when you have any kind of issue or question, the only thing the telephone reps can do is give you the address of the customer service center so you can WRITE your concerns. When I complained about a billing issue, eH charged my card anyway, refused to transfer me to someone who could assist me, rattled off the mailing address, then hung up on me. They insisted that writing to them was the only option for addressing a complaint. In this day and age, for an online service to not have an email address, phone assistance, or even web chat assistance is ridiculous. For a service that specializes in relationships, eH does a very good job of cutting themselves off from the customer, making sure you can never have a discussion with them about anything on the site!

Also, beware the 7-day "free" trial. My account expired 2 years ago and I was recently offered a new 7 day free trial. When I tried to cancel within the first 7 days due to low volume of matches, eH refused and again doled out the customer service mailing address!

They are money grubbers at the worst. They have definitely learned how to capitalize on people's innate needs for companionship by manipulating their sales and billing practices.

What I'm about to say is going to piss some people off. Some will think that my words are common sense; others will find them refreshing and humorous. I'm tired of being nice, so let's cut to the chase and cease with the B.S. You may not like what I’m about to express, and you may not agree with it…but I’m going to say it anyway, because 1) I don’t really care and 2) because some of you need to rethink the reasons for your presence on these online personals sites.

A man once said that the TRUTH is not always palatable and should not always be told. Well, I'm going to offer my honest OPINION about the MEAT MARKET that is online personals in general.

I've come to the conclusion that online personals are NOT the way to go if you're seriously looking for someone. Basically websites such as these attract "undesirables" from the dating scene:

the unattractive,

the overweight/obese,

single parents,

the emotionally unstable, etc.

For the most part, online personals attract people looking for something that more than likely they can't have -- people whose stock value on the dating scene is higher than theirs. Let's face it -- everybody wants to hook up with what they perceive to be a winner. Everyone wants that trophy piece. A loser doesn't seek to hook up with another loser...LOL

Take stock of yourself. If you're an out of shape, balding, boring SLOB, don't expect to land a Jessica Alba or Jennifer Love-Hewitt or Essence Atkins unless you have either MONSTER GAME or MONSTER CASH (with emphasis on the latter). If you're obese or have kids, the odds are not in your favor, either. Some of you need to lower your lofty standards. You're NOT going to get a Brad Pitt and you're NOT going to land Dwyane Wade, so lower your standards, please. Be honest with who and what you are. You can lie to us but you can't lie to yourself. Deep down in your psyche you KNOW why you're not have success finding people.

FACT: Most people lead BORING lives and they look for someone who's going to inject some EXCITEMENT into it, so they come here, hoping to snag that guy/girl of their dreams that probably wouldn’t date them in real life. So you ante up your hard-earned dollars hoping that a person who normally wouldn’t look at your ugly behind would give you a shot, because you’re a “good” person. Yeah right.

Realize this -- online personals are all about the PICTURE. Everything else is a distant second. Ignore all of those cheesy, misleading articles that try to teach you how to write a decent profile – for all intents and purposes, it’s useless. We live in an image-driven society, and most people want the images that have been inculcated into their subconscious mind since birth via the media. As a prime example, you've got all kinds of guys writing women that are basically out of their league or women that are just sitting back and collecting e-mails, bypassing decent guys because they're NOT PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO THEM. Most of the good-looking women are already attached and are looking for something "extra" or they’re struggling, in search of a guy to “help them out” -- which is not necessarily a bad thing, by the way -- I'm just stating how it is.

Ladies, realize that the reason guys don't write you is because you're NOT ATTRACTIVE and/or you're OVERWEIGHT and/or you have TOO MANY CHILDREN. Period. Nobody cares what you know or what type of person you are -- at least not when they're searching the profiles.

Guys, realize that the reason women don't write you is because you're 1) NOT ATTRACTIVE or 2) YOU'RE BORING or 3) YOU'RE NOT FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT (or in more crass terms, BROKE) or 4) The women you write (who are probably physically attractive) have inboxes that are so deluged with messages from other horny and/or lonely guys, that she won’t be able to give YOUR message any meaningful face time. She’s just going to look at your PICTURE and if you’re not the crème de la crème, you have no shot. End of story. Nobody cares about your HOBBIES and all that other junk.

Look, men and women who don't have trouble finding dates and are generally considered good catches DON'T USE ONLINE PERSONALS. Think about it. Think about some hot guy or girl that you know in real life. Do you think they're using online personals?

Men that use these sites should realize that the ratio of men to women that use online personals is about 3 to 1. This means that you have mostly average-looking guys competing for relative few good-looking women on these sites. Men should realize that many of the above average-looking women are looking for nothing more than an ego boost, or "sponsor," or are just window shopping. It's a meat market, just like the bar scene that many of the women here claim to detest. Online personals can be a pretty lucrative business and is a pretty ingenious idea: preying on the loneliness of men and women who have trouble finding a date.

If you're a man, meet women the old fashioned way...approach them in public. Your success rate will be higher than waiting on some chick from some dating website to write you back after you took time out to write her flaky ass a message. If you think something's holding you back or preventing you from achieving success with women, then get those problems corrected if you can.

If you're a woman and you're overweight and can't find a date, consider losing the weight and maybe you'll have more success. If you're not attractive or sexy, you're screwed. If you have multiple children and you're looking for a serious relationship, you're screwed. Most single men don't want a ready-made family. It may sound crass, but it's the TRUTH. I don't know what else to tell you, ladies.

If you wish to express your admiration or displeasure with my words, I can be reached at cooldude98from78@yahoo.com. I’ll hear you out, then offer my expert opinion. :)

I have spoken.

***THE BEST REVIEW OUT THERE!!*** Foremost, when dating online you need to understand that you need to take the "sour with the sweet." The sour is that you will most likely have some bad dating experiences. But the sweet is that its easy to meet people and you might find that special someone.

All of these dating sites, including eHarmony, don't guarantee you won't meet crazy or unusual people. Its just a way to filter out most of the characteristics that you are not (or are) looking for in a partner. I live in Vegas and believe it or not its a tough city to meet people in. I do the online thing because its a way for me to meet people I wouldn't have otherwise.

With that being said, I think eHarmony is the best by far. I usually compare eHarmony to Match.com. Match.com is like a meat market. Its like everyone is just thrown in a room and you are set to fend for yourself. So that means people are going to visually judge you on your picture and what your profile says. Not a very good thing for us guys who are easy on the eyes, but not an Abercrombie model!

eHarmony is great because I think its the attitude of the people it attracts. I think of myself as a decent looking guy and I do much better on eHarmony. I think its because if the system matches you with someone, you actually take the time to consider them. Plus, the system doesn't throw hundreds of matches your way at one time. They gradually feed you matches. Also, you can close or hold communication at anytime, especially if they have an incomplete profile or no pictures.

Anyways, I think that eHarmony is great because you actually have a shot at getting to know someone. I just feel that the women have given me more of a chance on eHarmony and I can be more myself, whereas on Match.com I have to be smooth, different and a real salesman. I think sometimes trying to get noticed on Match.com leads to people being fake.

My two cents!

eharmony is the worst of the worst!They dont screen whom they select as a match,like they say they do.I received a "match",who had details about his penis size in his "about me" profile!If I saw it,you think that their screeners would have,also!The apology regarding the matter was weak,and quite hostile.I get "closed" matches sent before I get to read them!I was offered another 7 day free trial,or so I thought.It was actually a ploy to get me to sign up for another month.I clicked and realized my mistake.I called customer service for help.I was told I had to hand write a letter,no email or phone rep could handle the matter.So,I did.One week later,I did not get a response by phone as requested,but a letter stating why I was NOT entitled to a refund.Eharmony is the bottom of the barrel in regards to their customer service.

I don't think eharmony works any better/worse than any other online service. I have been on it for 13 days. I would cancel it now but I want at my $59 worth of entertainment. So, I find it mildly amusing to see who they pick. I can meet the same type of guys on the streets. It is definitely not a service for people who are particular about what they want...I am talking about someone with a kind disposition. You are limited to people they choose for you with unfathomable, two dimensional algorithm. From actually going on dates, eharmony like the others, seems to serve those that have not had sex in awhile based on their own definition (it could be a day, week, month or years) and would like spring this issue the first date. Eh, some things never change..and it is not age dependent..these are middle aged men. Thanks, for letting me vent.

I'd like to make users and potential users aware of what they're getting into when they join eHarmony. First, I suggest you search for "eHarmony" on ConsumerAffairs.com and also Better Business Bureau Online and read the stories posted there.

I was a member of eHarmony for 3 months in 2004, 3 months in 2005, and I'm on my fifth month for 2006. There have been many changes in those two years. I decided to read their "Terms of Service" and also the "Help" section of their web site. Here is what I found (sections are pasted in directly from their site; this is public information anybody can access):

When you register for eHarmony, you are signing a contract that is effective from the *day* that you take that personality profile. You must agree to their "Terms of Service" in order to use the web site. This immediately enters you into a legal contract with the company. The only way you can terminate the contract is as follows:

"any time prior to midnight of Company's third business day following the date of this contract, excluding Sundays and holidays" by calling Customer Care or delivering a signed and dated cancellation notice or telegram to their business office. In other words, if you don't elect to cancel within three days of first using their web site, you are obligated to the terms of their contract, including any future updates or changes.

Now, any contract should offer something of value to the buyer, right? Do you understand what eHarmony is giving you in return for your monthly fee? Well, read the contract:

"j. You understand that the Company makes no guarantees, either express or implied, regarding your ultimate compatibility with individuals you meet through the Service." Contrast this with the language on their Help Section which states "Using these dimensions, eHarmony determines the users with whom you have the highest levels of compatibility. Once we've isolated the candidates with whom you are highly compatible, their profiles are sent to your My Matches page." Deceptive?

If you are not able to access the service due to technical problems, too bad: "b. The Company does not warrant that your use of the Service will be secure, uninterrupted, always available, error-free or will meet your requirements, or that any defects in the Service will be corrected."

According to the contract, the only time a refund will be issued is in the event of death or disability. However, if a physician will say that your disability won't last longer than six months, they will extend your subscription by six months rather than give you a refund. And in the event of death, it is your estate's obligation to contact eHarmony, otherwise the estate is liable for monthly payments.

Say you hear or watch an eHarmony commercial and based on that, believe you are signing up for a service that uses scientific principles to help find your soulmate. What does eHarmony really promise to give you in exchange for your monthly fee? This is what you get, according to their subscription page:

If you pay for a year, you get 12 names. If you don't get 12 names, they'll extend your subscription in 3-month increments for free. 6 months, 6 matches, same extension. 3 months, 3 names, same extension. 1 month, no names guaranteed, but if you close your account within 7 days by calling customer service (excluding Sundays and holidays) you can get a refund (provided you are not a returning user). So, if I understand this correctly, you pay $59.95 for one month of service and are not guaranteed to receive one single name. Nada, zip, zero, they don't promise to give you anything other than use of the web site. Please note that according to the Help Section, these names do not have to include photos, do not have to be paying subscribers or current members (may not be able to send communications), or even have their profile completed.

There is no other situation on earth where I would agree to sign a contract to pay somebody $59.95 and not be guaranteed something of value, other than hope, in return.

Please research and confirm all of this by visiting eHarmony's site, Terms of Service, and Help Section. I'm not trying to interpret a contract or give any type of legal advice, so please judge for yourself. As far as I can tell, eHarmony's commercials relay a different message than their actual Terms of Service contract and I think this is why so many are unhappy with this service.

I met my fiance on eHarmony. She lived 60 miles away and were it not for their match I would have never met my soul mate. I was matched with several people who were on the surface a good match and I credit eHarmony for that. But more so for giving me the opportunity to meet the woman of my dreams.

Overall I found the people on EH more sincere than other sites I tried. I think the expense of it keeps a lot of the "window shoppers" out. I was even contacted by spammers and con artists from foreign countries on other sites. Not on EH. All in all I'd say it's the best site out there and for a busy, single dad it was the best way for me to meet people. I got lucky and met THE ONE. It will work differently for everyone.