Reviews of eHarmony

I met my current boyfriend on eharmony. We talked non stop for 6 months and found out we had a lot of similar values and ways to look at life. I had been matched with someone who like me, doesn't smoke, doesn't get drunk, goes to the gym, is catholic and our parents have been married for many many years.

Only problem is we lived far away. Nevertheless we managed to meet and it went wonderful. I never felt so close to someone so quickly. Now we're trying to figure out the distance thing, but we sure think eharmony works.

Problem is sometimes you can't control if people lie in their profiles. I got many matches that didn't go well, and he got hundreds. But here we are :)

I recommend you give all people a chance even if you're not atracted to a person at first. You might be surprised.

I really believed the advertisements. I really, really wanted to believe. I've received over 100 matches since joining in April.

I've read most of the reviews here and agree with some of points: 1. post a picture; 2. be realistic about whom you might attract; 3. be honest about yourself and your looks and 4. be patient.

If you don't think you're attractive, work on it instead of complaining about how shallow men are. THEY ARE! Men are indeed visual and face it, so are women.

I, too, close out men who do not post pictures or who wait a long time before releasing their pictures. If you don't release your picture by the second round of questions, I'm not going to continue communicating with you.

Don't ask inappropriate questions. These are from the people who feel it necessary to complain about the questions eHarmony gives you and then write the most wild questions of their own, and I paraphrase: "What world leader would you assassinate, not including Osama bin Laden, Chavez, etc. These are real questions, better than eHarmony." Totally bizarre. If you want me to continue to talk to you, try to behave like a normal human being and engage in pleasant conversation. Although I have to say that it made it easier to close this one when I received those weird questions. So maybe that was for the better.

Don't disappear. If you don't want to continue the conversation, whether on eHarmony or via email outside of eHarmony, or are no longer interested, just write a Dear Joan letter or close the communication and be done with it. Don't waste my time keeping me on hold wondering what is going on. And don't blame it on "glitches" with the eHarmony computer system -- I don't believe you.

Oh, and checking off "other" when you are closing a communication is like saying "it's not you, it's me" and women everywhere know that you really mean -- it's them.

Now, a very real complaint about eHarmony's matching system. How come I get tons of matches in NJ and CT, but almost none in Westchester? And how come two friends of mine who don't live in Westchester, get a lot of matches from there? We've even compared our profiles and answers to their questions (and yes, we are all the same age, weight and height).

And to nitpick Jarred (although I agree with lots that he has to say), so many of the male matches I received had spelling and grammar mistakes -- and some of them were teachers by profession. Go figure.

Eharmony is expensive. Much more so than other dating sites. But is it worth the higher price tag? ...Nope. It wouldn't be worth it at a fraction of the fee they presently charge.

Since joining eharmony I've also joined another pay site, which is ever so much cheaper... and a free site. In both instances I have been very active, getting a great deal of response from interested persons. But on the eharmony site? I have had very limited contact with two individuals, and neither of those contacts lead to open discussion. And I suspect that most of the "matches" eharmony found for me are not paid members at all, but persons who took the eharmony personality tests... and then decided not to join. Eharmony includes those people as matches, in spite of the fact that their profiles do not represent actual members.

Aside from the first week, I've not had a single new "match" in two months. I don't even check the site anymore. I've accepted that joining eharmony was a complete waste of money... and I've chalked it up to a rather expensive lesson.

If you live in an area with an extremely high population density, perhaps you would get enough matches to warrant joining... but if you're in a smaller market, eharmony is probably a very bad choice.

What appealed to me was the "scientific" approach to putting two people together. The irony of reducing love into an equation is somewhat amusing too. I initally went to EH in August just for the profile - I had no intention of signing up - fill out the survey, get the results & cancel, so I think I managed to be pretty honest in my answers (perhaps one reason I'm getting so few matches). I agree with some of the other reviewers - some people are just not honest with themselves, or potential matches: filling out the survey the way they wished they were, or how they think others would want them to be.

I also agree with the recent review that suggested that you have to know what you want, and stick to it. I wasn't getting any matches, so I monkeyed with one of the settings - I changed "want kids" to maybe. I instantly got 9 matches. The problem is, there's no maybe about it. I don't want kids (I set it back to "no"), and it would seem that EH members want kids. I am amazed that so many people are overwhelmed with matches, when I have reached open communication with just one person (out of 4 "legitimate" matches, only one responded, likely the only subscriber). I'll likely not renew at the end of the month; even if I get another match which doesn't seem likely, 50 bucks seems expensive, especially when that match may not be a subscriber, and able to reply.

It would appear that EH is not for me, but good luck to the rest of you who are using it.

Bravo, Westchester! I totally agree with you regarding the "disappearing acts." I have gotten to open communication with several men, spending minutes every day writing emails and exchanging somewhat personal information, only to have them suddenly disappear. How about just closing out the match? My feelings won't be hurt, believe me. After learning my lesson the hard way, I now give my number in open communication and to hell with all the emailing. If they call, they call. If not, NEXT! I am also closing communication with men who do not quickly respond in order to get to open communication within a week. I only had to have one lesson to learn this. One match dragged out the whole process, so that it took one month to get to open communication, and then he disappeared for another week stating he got new phone number. I promptly hit the closed button. I don't have time for all this foot dragging and neither should anyone else. Come on people, if you want to meet the love of your life as soon as possible, why not act like you do? The book that has helped me with this new philosophy is "He's just not that into you." Should be required reading for all the ladies out there who do not deserve to have their precious time wasted. May we all find the love of our life!

Eharmony is only as good as it's members. I think the main problem is that many members don't know themselves well enough, so their personality profiles are inaccurate reflections of who they truly are. Also, I think it's very tempting for many members to create who they wish they were rather than who they are as well. In my opinon though, it's a great site for honest people who know themselves:)

I give eHarmony two stars, since it forced me to think about myself at a very deep level. Everything else about there website is worthy of only 1 star (or maybe less)--especially there customer service and a "software glitch" that seems to turn on automatic renewal when you requested not to have it renewed. I would only consider returning if they provided information on the last activity level of a profile and that they get better reviews on this website. I recently purchased a new dating book titled, "The Boomers' Guide to Online Dating" by Judsen Culbreth (2005 by Rodale Inc). Missing from her recommendations of dating websites is eHarmony. She never states eHarmony by name, only the site with the 10M advertising campaign. She notes edatereview.com as one of the reasons that she didn't include them in her book. BTW, the book is great for middle-aged woman. I think a few middle-aged men would like it too. She really addresses the issues involved with taking a long break from dating, e.g., a 20 year break because of a long-termed marriage. All the best to everyone on their dating journey.

If you are an unattractiver person as I am, its gonna be hard work finding someone regardless of what dzaating site. What makes eharmony stand out among the rest is that they weed out the scammers, which to me is just a waste of time and money. ATleast I`ll know that when I do have that successful match, she will be genuine.

It's not about finding a "perfect" woman, that is not possible, just like its not possible to find a perfect man. I just think it is important to have your life in order, have your priorities straight, actually try to take care of yourself by using make up, attending the gym regularly, and keeping a clean house. Beauty is only skin deep however, but a persons self worth is reflected on how they treat themselves. If you live in filth, you must feel like you are not worth living in a clean home. If you don't care about your physical appearance, maybe that means you have no care for your body because its unimportant to you. I hope to find someone that knows deep down inside that they are a person of worth, a person of respect, a person deserving honor and more! I am super attracted to those women that know themselves completely, and are confident and sharp, that show me that they only want the best that life has to offer! I hope that in return, she will be attracted to my strength and driven personality, and ability to not live like a homeless vagabond. Hopefully. Seriously, if you want to email me and discuss further, feel free to email me at redjar@yahoo.com

All the positive reviews must be from paid employees of eharmony.com. I've used several dating services online, and this is by far THE WORST. And, to make things worse, it's the most expensive! Save your money! Go to a bar and give people a Cosmo quiz to see what their "personality" is. Ugh.