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Reviewed By
DoneDatin
San Jose, CA
Sex
Female
Rating
*****
Date
March 18, 2008
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First of all... there are some really bitter men on here reviewing eHarmony. I've had over 200 matches just within my state since I joined a few months ago. I'm not communicating with two men.
At first I noticed that most of the matches were closing right away... I also noticed the first few matches I choose to communicate with did not respond. Probably because their accounts were closed.
But this is what I did next. I started closing all my matches (I get about six a day)unless I really liked their profile I just closed it and put every reason under the sun for closing it. Talk about response! From those matches closed about two or three will "ask" to be reopened. And I go from there.
Ladies you have to work it the same way men do... *Close most if not all your matches and use a different reason besides "other" for closing. *Never initiate communication. If the match is an open account, let them contact you. That will save you a lot of time. *Don't take any of this personally... they are after all, just men. *If you've read these reviews online you'll hear a lot of moaning and whining about how the women don't look good enough, or they are sluts, or they are too fat, blah blah blah. Just accept the fact that a lot of angry, self loathing men, bitter men are on eHarmony. *The same complaints men have mentioned here I could make about the men on eHarmony. They are fat, short, have kids, look 10 years older, etc. etc.
Final piece of advice, cancel your subscription once you've paid. That way they can't autorenew!
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Reviewed By
Jenna
CT
Sex
Female
Rating
*****
Date
March 17, 2008
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After going on a bunch of dates with players and men interested only in one thing (I'm no prude but geez!) on match.com and yahoo personals, I decided to give eHarmony a try. Filled out the profile, got a few matches, but only a trickle. Most I tried to communicate with never answered (likely non-paying members), or would get to stage 2 or 3, only to never hear from them again. I let my membership lapse, and like others, got floods of interesting matches at that time. I closed them all out, as I was done with online dating, and got on with life.
Things settled down and for whatever reason I decided to try eHarmony once again. Looking for someone who wants a real relationship and isn't shallow, and figured the personality matching system would give me an edge. I signed up for the year deal, falling for their pitch to 'give it at least a year.' Okay, fine. I do know two people who met and married on eHarmony, so figured I'd try, too.
After a few months of eagerly trying to communicate with those matches that really caught my eye, I gave up. Most just closed me out as soon as I released my pic. I'm not going to win any beauty contests but I'm not butt-ugly, either. Heck, my pics got me rated between 7-8 on Hot or Not, so I can't be *that* bad. And the kicker? Lots of those who asked for pics and closed me right after getting them were friggin' bald and nothing to look at either!!
I now release my pic only to those I find interesting. I no longer initiate communication. Doesn't matter. Still get closed before getting to open communication, or closed shortly afterwards. To date (6 months into my subscription), I've NEVER even talked on the phone, let alone gone out on a date.
Yes, I've closed matches where I felt we were truly incompatible (politics, religious differences, nothing in common) but for most, even if they're not my physical ideal (balding, overweight, short, whatever) I figure that until I get to know them and meet them, how do I really know? I communicate with everyone who intitiates contact with me. But I find that the men I'm matched with go by appearance, or just don't want a single mom with kids (there is no baggage, ex and I remain friendly and civil, no drama).
I closed the match with the woman who had become a man (yes, they matched me with a transsexual, and not that I'm against people changing genders, it's just not who I want to date, sorry), and a guy who clearly lied about his age (he was nearly 60, not 46, as his profile claimed). Even being very open-minded gets me nowhere. I suppose I'm glad I learn how shallow these men are before meeting them, but is every man in America who I'm compatible with that shallow? Apparently, they are.
I will NOT be renewing nor recommending this service to others. Maybe it works better if you're younger and fitter and have no kids. But for the men in my age range that I'm looking for (40-55) I'm surprised at how shallow the men are. Get real.
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Reviewed By
Melissa
Austin, TX
Sex
Female
Rating
*****
Date
March 16, 2008
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Can I give eHarmony no stars? I had an abysmal experience on eHarmony. I don't know how people are "matched up," but it's certainly not by mutual interest or potential attraction level. I'm a very attractive woman, and yet I was "matched" with men who (sorry! I know this is vain!) I would never look twice at. Compatibility is important, but so is physical compatibility. I've dated "below" my attractiveness rung, and it just didn't work. Also, seems like every single person who was sent to me had at least one of my "dealbusters" clearly elucidated in my profiles. No dogs (allergic), no camping, no sports nuts, and no skiers. And yet, hola! What did I get? People who were enthusiastic about the very things that I couldn't get into. I specified: no children, please. I got men who wanted to play Brady Bunch.
Basically, people need to be compatible to a degree, but they also need to be opposite in many other areas. I'm a very responsible, on-task person who is looking for a free spirit to temper my Type A personality. And what did I get? More Type A's thrown my way.
Basically, save your money, ladies. If you want a nice average guy who's nothin' special, like the kind there are on eHarmony, you can find them if you go to enough church socials. But for someone who is a little avant garde, edgy and urban (such as myself), it was a bore.
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Reviewed By
Reality
Nowhere
Sex
Male
Rating
*****
Date
March 11, 2008
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People don't get it. Internet dating will always be problematic from now on. There was a better time in the very early days of internet dating when things were better. Few people were online, and they represented a better class of people, a vanguard of the better educated and more successful. Those who used internet dating before 2000 know what I am talking about. As time went on, the lowest common denominators got computers and decided to try internet dating. The top class of people have moved on to other ways of meeting, as they stay at the top of the food chain and vacate the premises when the barbarians arrive. The top ten percent of society has always formed associations that promoted their agenda while locking out those who would intrude and spoil things for them. Try joining the top country club in your area while you are a blue collar worker, and see what happens. Internet sites allow anybody willing to post a profile and let loose of a small bit of money. Any club of people worth joining has very strict membership requirements, and none of the internet dating sites meet that requirement. Private dating agencies that charge several thousand dollars for the most basic memberships are what works, and they are strict in who contacts whom. People who have conflicting personalities will never get referrals to each other, and that is what you are paying for. Highly trained and skilled matchmakers with psychology degrees will know their clients very well and look out for their best interests. Clients will not be able to peruse the member base except for those the matchmakers have determined to be possibly compatible. Any dating agency that allows any member of the agency to contact any other member of the agency is negligent and worthless. Their job is to run interference, know their clients, and make matches that are actually compatible. That costs thousands of dollars per client. A bullshit questionnaire such as eHarmony uses just disguises the fact that eHarmony is as worthless as the rest, and the deceitfulness just makes them all the more despicable.
Suzy has a false viewpoint of the online dating situation. Men outnumber women from 2 to 20 times in the general online dating world. Real private agencies do not allow such skewed membership ratios to exist. The exceptions are the marriage agencies (not dating agencies) where the entire membership roles are female, but there are plenty of serious men willing to pay money to meet the members since the females are extremely well chosen and highly qualified for marriage. These are men who have no time for a bullshit organization like eHarmony. Highly skilled psychologists interview the women and get rid of anybody not meeting the strict agency guidelines. This is possible in places like Russia where angry females who were turned away by the agency for being substandard have no chance of bringing discrimination charges against the agency. This, along with the excess of higher class females, gives Russia and similar places an incredible business edge in marriage agency business. High class dating agencies in the USA face the problem of those being turned away possibly bringing discrimination lawsuits against the agency. That just raises the price of doing business. Men are usually more willing to pay, so smart agencies tune the business to attract male clients. If women would pay their way as well as the men do, then marriage agencies with male members that were handpicked for female clients would actually exist. Western women have been presented with the free ride approach for too long, and that is one of the things that stands in their way and renders them uncompetitive with women in other parts of the world.
Save some money and contact a real marriage agency if you want to find somebody, and leave the low class oufits that markets to the general population behind. Successful people have followed that approach for several thousand years, and it still works.
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Reviewed By
Reality
Nowhere
Sex
Male
Rating
*****
Date
March 11, 2008
permalink
Visit eHarmony
|
People don't get it. Internet dating will always be problematic from now on. There was a better time in the very early days of internet dating when things were better. Few people were online, and they represented a better class of people, a vanguard of the better educated and more successful. Those who used internet dating before 2000 know what I am talking about. As time went on, the lowest common denominators got computers and decided to try internet dating. The top class of people have moved on to other ways of meeting, as they stay at the top of the food chain and vacate the premises when the barbarians arrive. The top ten percent of society has always formed associations that promoted their agenda while locking out those who would intrude and spoil things for them. Try joining the top country club in your area while you are a blue collar worker, and see what happens. Internet sites allow anybody willing to post a profile and let loose of a small bit of money. Any club of people worth joining has very strict membership requirements, and none of the internet dating sites meet that requirement. Private dating agencies that charge several thousand dollars for the most basic memberships are what works, and they are strict in who contacts whom. People who have conflicting personalities will never get referrals to each other, and that is what you are paying for. Highly trained and skilled matchmakers with psychology degrees will know their clients very well and look out for their best interests. Clients will not be able to peruse the member base except for those the matchmakers have determined to be possibly compatible. Any dating agency that allows any member of the agency to contact any other member of the agency is negligent and worthless. Their job is to run interference, know their clients, and make matches that are actually compatible. That costs thousands of dollars per client. A bullshit questionnaire such as eHarmony uses just disguises the fact that eHarmony is as worthless as the rest, and the deceitfulness just makes them all the more despicable.
Suzy has a false viewpoint of the online dating situation. Men outnumber women from 2 to 20 times in the general online dating world. Real private agencies do not allow such skewed membership ratios to exist. The exceptions are the marriage agencies (not dating agencies) where the entire membership roles are female, but there are plenty of serious men willing to pay money to meet the members since the females are extremely well chosen and highly qualified for marriage. These are men who have no time for a bullshit organization like eHarmony. Highly skilled psychologists interview the women and get rid of anybody not meeting the strict agency guidelines. This is possible in places like Russia where angry females who were turned away by the agency for being substandard have no chance of bringing discrimination charges against the agency. This, along with the excess of higher class females, gives Russia and similar places an incredible business edge in marriage agency business. High class dating agencies in the USA face the problem of those being turned away possibly bringing discrimination lawsuits against the agency. That just raises the price of doing business. Men are usually more willing to pay, so smart agencies tune the business to attract male clients. If women would pay their way as well as the men do, then marriage agencies with male members that were handpicked for female clients would actually exist. Western women have been presented with the free ride approach for too long, and that is one of the things that stands in their way and renders them uncompetitive with women in other parts of the world.
Save some money and contact a real marriage agency if you want to find somebody, and leave the low class oufits that markets to the general population behind. Successful people have followed that approach for several thousand years, and it still works.
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Reviewed By
Jenny
Ontario, Canada
Sex
Female
Rating
*****
Date
March 10, 2008
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I am completely shocked at what a poor service eHarmony is. They sell themselves as an agency which has integrity and quality but once you sign up you have very little control over who you are matched with. They promise you two or three matches a month at the most. What they don't explain is that the match will be with someone twelve years your senior and four inches shorter than you. Come on, are you kidding me? This is a match? For some it may be but let me define what is right for me.
But with eHarmony you get what they think is good for you and even then, very little of it. Once you sign up their job is done, money is in their bank account and you join the growing ranks of very disgusted customers who thought they were signing up for a "notch above".
Save your money folks, I have met much better people, who actually do match MY requirements on Plenty of Fish.
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Reviewed By
ARodriguez
Long Island, NY
Sex
Female
Rating
*****
Date
March 06, 2008
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I have tried meeting men in several different places. The movie theater, bar, various websites (myspace, yahoo, and match). The only place where I have been able to meet sincere men, interested in a real relationship was on eharmony.
I tried the website out twice. First in 2005 and then again last year, about a year ago exactly. I think the first time around I didn't stay on the site because I was being a bit superficial. I couldn't get over the fact that I couldn't choose someone's height range, or their color hair or their horoscope sign. I will now say that it was very immature of me.
When I signed on about a year ago, I decided to be really open-minded when it came to looks, and physical features. There was one person that really stood out to me based on the answers to their questions. I couldn't have written better ones. However, every picture of him he looked to be about 300 lbs and very pale but he also had the sweetest eyes (I usually dated tall dark thin guys). I took a chance, and I am so happy. Extremely happy in fact. We are planning our wedding for March of 2009 and I truly believe I found my soul mate.
For those that have complaints about the site, I suggest you broaden your scope, and keep an open mind. I always recieved many matches, at least 1 a day but over the three month period of both the times I tried the website I recieved several hundred matches. I never had a problem with the cancellation of my membership the first time around (2005).
If you are serious about being in a committed relationship then I think this is the best way to go about it.
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Reviewed By
TRC
Savannah, GA
Sex
Male
Rating
*****
Date
March 05, 2008
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At the beginning of the year I decided to give Eharmony a try. I'd been divorced a few months and wanted to see what type of woman I could meet online.
I'm an attractive (or so I've been told) 33 yr. old male... 1 marriage, no kids.
I jumped through all of the Eharmony hoops and answered every question honestly. Within 24 hours I had 6 matches... 2 of which were "my type" and 4 were not. All were within the 30 mile range I specified.
Ironically both of the 2 which interested me initiated communication themselves. Within 3 days we hit open communication. After that 1 of them suddenly slowed down in her emails while the other was quite steady in emailing me at least once per day.
So... after talking with her for a little over a week via email and telephone we went out on a date. We met for dinner and it went very well. Along with her good looks (35 yrs. old, blonde, 5'5, 110 lbs) she had a great personality. We had quite a few things in common and had great conversation all night.
Here we are about 2 months later and everything is going great. We get together pretty much on a daily basis now and I couldn't be happier. Is she my "soul mate"? That remains to be seen. I will say that I am quite happy with the relationship so far.
I'll give Eharmony 4 out of 5 stars. After a few weeks they did start flooding me with matches that were out of my distance range but of course I didn't really care since I was already happily communicating with someone.
I did cancel my membership after 1 month with no issues. So far I will say that it was $59.99 well spent.
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Reviewed By
Travis
Savannah, GA
Sex
Male
Rating
*****
Date
March 05, 2008
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At the beginning of the year I decided to give Eharmony a try. I'd been divorced a few months and wanted to see what type of woman I could meet online.
I'm an attractive (or so I've been told) 33 yr. old male... 1 marriage, no kids.
I jumped through all of the Eharmony hoops and answered every question honestly. Within 24 hours I had 6 matches... 2 of which were "my type" and 4 were not. All were within the 30 mile range I specified.
Ironically both of the 2 which interested me initiated communication themselves. Within 3 days we hit open communication. After that 1 of them suddenly slowed down in her emails while the other was quite steady in emailing me at least once per day.
So... after talking with her for a little over a week via email and telephone we went out on a date. We met for dinner and it went very well. Along with her good looks (35 yrs. old, blonde, 5'5, 110 lbs) she had a great personality. We had quite a few things in common and had great conversation all night.
Here we are about 2 months later and everything is going great. We get together pretty much on a daily basis now and I couldn't be happier. Is she my "soul mate"? That remains to be seen. I will say that I am quite happy with the relationship so far.
I'll give Eharmony 4 out of 5 stars. After a few weeks they did start flooding me with matches that were out of my distance range but of course I didn't really care since I was already happily communicating with someone.
I did cancel my membership after 1 month with no issues. So far I will say that it was $59.99 well spent.
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Reviewed By
Sam
GA
Sex
Male
Rating
*****
Date
March 03, 2008
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I took a chance on E-Harmony after trying several others with mixed experiences. I was extremely optomistic after hearing all the adds and reading the testimonials.
EHarmony bases their system on the premis that everyone will develop their profile honestly. I only got to go on 3 dates with them in an entire year, and all of them were as far from an ideal match as possible.
I ended up going with an off-line service called, "It's Just Lunch".
With this service, I went on 20 dates. Some of them resulted in 2nd and 3rd dates. I eventually met my fiance' and could not be happier.
EHarmony is a grand hoax.
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