Reviews of eHarmony

John: if a woman keeps herself in shape, it’s not unreasonable for her to seek a man with that same value. One of the reasons why active, attractive women in their 40's (like me) are now attracted to 30 year olds (not in their 20’s since that would be creepy! Like some of you, most of us aren’t quite there yet) is because they want someone who still cares about the way they look; its hard to find single men in their 40's that stay active so that they have control of their weight (not to mention “other” common issues related to many men in their 40’s) I think if men cared more about what it takes to stay attractive to a woman (and vice-versa of course) then you would not see so many women now attracted to younger men. Its time for men to start being concerned about what a woman needs so she can stay attracted to her mate. It seems a lot of men put their needs (which are based on a stereotype long gone!) firt.

Yes John, my response is almost identical to yours. Is that not ok with you? If it isn’t, then this is a social problem that needs to be evaluated. Simply, my attitude may not work for most "middle aged" men because they want to continue living in a world were the “double standard” benefits (and has always benefited) them.

I have been a member for nearly a year and a half, and am disappointed with several shortcomings I have noticed with eHarmony’s “system.” Part of this is due to the way they market themselves as a place to find "true love." It sets an unbelievably high standard in my opinion, and I am extremely dissatisfied with its lack of results. My experience has given me no reason to believe their compatibility matching system is scientifically valid.

Another serious defect in eHarmony is the needlessly tedious “Guided Communication” process. In this completely detached, sterile, connectionless, inhuman method of communication, keeping a woman’s attention is hard to do. In the event a match "closes" on you, 95% of the time they will specify "Other" as their reason for doing so. This totally cheats me out of feedback that could help me improve my profile. When I asked that users be required to elaborate when choosing the "Other," option, eHarmony responded to me by saying [users should have the ability to provide as much or as little explanation as they want].

Poor customer service, a matching system that is NOT peer reviewed by the psychological community, and marketing that sells a product eHarmony doesn't deliver. I suggest an alternative.

I must be the ugliest f@cking guy in the world or something because girls close me out on eharmony before I even get a chance to see them. Women claim to be so non-superficial, but lol....yea right. Let's see: I'm 31, I work out, have aq good body, have a good job, have a great sense of humor, and my profile has nothing on it to suggest that I am a weirdo. I love family, friends, etc and I make a point to show that. All you women out there with a trace of blonde hair or decent looks pretty much slam the door in my face before it even opens. Of course I'm bitter. I guess I'm so f@cking ugly and not worth your time. Right girls???

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I tried eHarmony for about 6 weeks and had a somewhat disappointing experience. After I decided to cancel my subscription (3 attempts), I could not get a confirmation of such from eHarmony. Needless to say I continued to receive notices that I had new "matches". I assume this will happen until my subscription runs out--6 months.

It now made sense to me why so many of my new matches never responded---they probably were no longer active on the site. Too bad for those guys getting my profile.

I have a good friend that made a wonderful match on this site but it did not work for me.

I have not tried eharmony so I can't comment on the site, but am wondering something after reading all these reviews: something that is LARGER and perhaps a problem we can blame on our society, culture, or what have you--this is just a suggestion : can it be that the reason so many people are unsatisfied with the dating process is that there is something wrong with a lot of people nowadays? Can eharmony REALLY be to blame for the bad experiences people have been having? Think about it: if everyone went into the dating process on these websites with an open-mind, courtesy , honesty and respect towards others, even if you don't click with the person you meet, then can you say it's an awful experience? My opinion is no. Disappointing? Yes- but that's the dating process for most people- you go out with a lot of 'nos' until you meet the one that's right for you.If everyone was serious about the process and really went on the website for the right reasons, I can't imagine that it can be a bad expereince for people. The trend I've been reading in the negative reviews is either 1.) the people on eharmony are disrespectful, rude and no different from the other websites out there or 2. person writing the review clearly has issues him/herself like selfishness, narrowmindedness, shallowness-- and going onto eharmony is not going to fix EITHER since the problem lies with the people going on to the site not the site itself. The solution: I'm not sure, but I think people need a major attitude adjustment and lessons on how to become a true adult

I am 56 years old, no kids, unencumbered, and attractive in an average way. The age range I was directed to choose (50 - 75) resulted in very few "matches," none of which communicated with me. I endeavored to communicate with one match, and I received no answer. I expanded my selection criteria as much as I could, and still no more matches. My conclusion: this is probably a match site for young Christian couples who are seeking marriage and a family. It seems there are very few matches at my age, and I doubt there are many relationships that come from eHarmony for middle-aged people. Based on my experience, I do not recommend eHarmony for middle aged people.

I tried eHarmony and came up with nothing. For a month I had zero matches. Finally, I made major compromises in what I was looking for in a woman (no kids, doesn't drink or smoke, live relatively close, age) and I finally got a few matches. More than half did not have a photo (indicates a free member that you can't communicate with). I opened communication with all but one match that had a photo (the one I didn't was not attractive to me). Out of 14 matches, I got two responses. One stopped right before open communication and the other, though nice, lived over an hour away with three young children.

EHarmony might work for some people depending on how you do on the personality profile and your location/willingness to travel. As a test, I made a fake free profile, answering the personality test with hyper answers that painted a picture of a person so incredible and flawless that they couldn't exist. That profile got the maximum number of matches per day until I closed it. It makes me think that women are very dishonest in creating their profile, and thus the whole matching process gets thrown out of whack.

Go with another service that allows you to view all the other members you want rather than waiting for a computer to match you.

The single worst experience I ever had with a man is with one I met on eharmony. I think eharmony allows abusive men to target vulnerable, trusting women and use their supposed Chrisitianity as a prop to gain a woman's trust. The format of the process on eharmony allows the abuser to know the right way to act by finding out in advance the person's "must haves" and "can't stands". A sociopath is able to use this information and appear to be the perfect match because they have been given a script in advance of what to do to con the woman. I gave it one star only because I couldn't figure out how to give it 0 stars. Having survived an abusive relationship from the eharmony guy I will never look at men in church the same way again and never recommend eHarmony to anyone. Be very careful of men who claim to be Christian. Look at their actions and not their words they say to get you to trust them and get you to sleep with them or give them money. Anyone can make themselves look good on paper or their website, however, looking at their history with women will be like looking into a crystal ball into your own future. If you use the internet to find a date then use the internet to research them. Abusive men used to be able to move to another city or state but with the internet their history is available world wide to anyone with a computer. Google is a woman's best friend in this new world. At a bare minimum check all men out very carefully by going to Google and simply typing in their first and last name and see what comes Don't ignore your intuition or their history no matter how sincere they may seem in their words or what they write in their profiles online.

OK. I registered to this site because the Television ad said I could review my matches for FREE. What a crock of shit!!!!

where are the pictures? I want to see pictures of my matches... For all I know they could be four hundred pounds with purple hair....and eHarmony wants me to pay up front to find this out. The founder should be shot... Why would I pay hundreds of dollars for this site without seeing pictures of my matches? Who made up this rule? This site sucks!!!!!

Match.com rules. I can look at all my matches pictures along with their profiles. Match.com doesn't advertise lies the way eHarmony does. I will talk nothing but bad about this site to everyone I know.

Thanks, and have a great day.