Reviews of Yahoo! Personals

I'm a gay Asian man, and looking for that special connections has always been very difficult. I simply don't fit the mold of what most gay men want. And since I don't go to bars that often or clubs, where was I going to meet men that DIDN'T want to jump into the sack the minute you meet them?. So I decided to try Yahoo personals.

Well, let me tell you, talk about an ego bruiser. I wrote a very honest profile that I felt would garner some attention. It didn't work. So I decided to be bold and respond to guys that I felt would be interested in me. But I specifically sought out men that didn't mind being contacted by Asians or Pacific-Islanders. I avoided men who wanted only to date white men. I knew that many white gay men only want to be involved with other white gay men. And I don't have a problem with that. It's their choice.

But the ones that I did respond to never wrote back. I never heard a word, and I was a polite as I could be. After emailing to at least eight men, I only got one response. But I never heard another word from him.

All of the profiles I wrote to were great. They talked about meeting men for possible LTR or for friendship, etc. And that was what I was looking for as well.

But none of them wrote back. I had my photo up and I'm fairly decent-looking, not heavy or anything like that. But it could have been my age, 41, that turned off a lot of gay men.

Unfortunately, many want younger and younger guys. And if you're a minority like me, and not in your twenties or even thirties,you're just left out altogether.

So I ended up leaving Yahoo personals and will just try to meet men through family and friends. My time with Yahoo personals wasn't a good experience at all.

Maybe it was better for others. But for gay men of color like me and who are older the chances of finding that special someone on Yahoo personals is slim at best.

I wish anyone luck if they want to try that site. But it didn't work for me at all. And it made me feel as if I was the biggest gay fool in San Diego.

I left this site after 4 months. I believe that most of the chicks on this site are totally fictional, designed only to keep you paying. I realize online dating is a crapshoot, but I've had better luck in a nunnery. No one responds and the only types that ask for communication are huge, hideous creatures that only come out at night. Match had way better results than this place.

My Advice... Stay away from the Internet social scene and these dating websites are a big part of this scene. The people who make up the Net scene are crabby and anti-social; mostly these people want revenge from society. The quest for revenge is why women act the way they do on these Dating sites.

Most of the people who make up the Internet social scene view the world around them as problematic. These people believe they are prefect in every way. I've met too many people like this on the net. One example, the hot 28yo chick on the dating site is more than likley a head case. She will never admit to having any faults.

If you think you're prefect but you're single because everyone else is a loser, then you should take a good inward look at yourself. Remember the simple rule, the physical world around you is a reflection of the way you think.

My comments pertain to OD in general and not specific to Yahoo or Match.com or the others. I think Joe from Florida said it best that a lot of women (and men too) are looking for the trifecta - 6ft tall, 6 figure income and a square jawline. I'll add a controversial fourth to this - "race" as in Caucasians. I'm not caucasian (I'm also not 6 feet tall - not even close) and there's really very few or no women who shares my ethnicity in Yahoo or match.com. Invariably I end up winking at Caucasians (only if they say no preference for ethnicity). I got two replies and chatted with them both and went out with both. But both were disappointed and more or less said I didn't look like what they were expecting. I pressed a little and they admitted they were uncomfortable with my ethnicity. Which is fine since it's their preference, but I could have saved them and myself time if they could have admitted that they weren't interested in dating non-caucasians or men with my ethnic background. When I asked them they did say that they didn't specify ethnic preferences since it was the politically correct thing to do. They didn't tell me why they replied to me, but my guess is because of my 6 figure salary (hey at least I meet one of the trifecta). OD is tough enough as it is, but I think yahoo and match.com can do a little more to get users to be more forthright about their ethnic preferences. In some sense eHarmony is better that way I think. Oh well, I'll just keep trying.

Too many people from overseas responding - even when I clearly state I am only interested in someone from this tectonic plate!

Lot of attitude from other members, althought not all. Very reare responses to even the most sincere, respectable, honest and forthright contact letters. Too bad; I have a lot going for me and a lot to share.

Dennis,

I don't mean to break your heart but any veteran 'OD' with an IQ of 120 (the type of person who's boycotting Wal-Mart) has already figured out your column for themselves. We would like tho thank you for reminding us about 'OD' beast. I don't think a comprehensive review of that sort has appeared on this website.

I've met ladies online but those who I've met were actually serious about dating. These are the ppl who don't spend more than 2 months using 'OD'. The secret is these serious daters are a rare find on the 'OD' scene. However, you'd need to become a skilled 'OD' in order to score a date with one of these rare people. These rare Gems are looking for extraordinary as well.

To become a skilled 'OD' you'll have to first develop your street skills with women. By the time you do this, you'll find that 'OD' is probably one of the worst places to score a date. You would find the truth that has been spilled on this site many times over and that's a majority of the 'OD' population is looking for someone that's out of their league. Do the math!!! When you factor in the 5 to 1 male to female ratio, then factor in that 1 in 10 of the attractive women online are actually serious about dating, and finally factor in that 1 in 4 members are paying members, you'll find that your chances are very slim.

Like I said I've had luck online but I have more luck on the streets. Here are my results.... My dating frequency online is one date every 3 weeks, I have a 1 in 10 email return ratio. Now, 1 in 3 of the responders will lead to a meeting.

On the streets I can manage to score a date with 7 out of every 10 women I approach. I am prefect at finding a date at a social gathering (i.e. wedding, sunday BBQ). My most troublesome place for finding a date is a nightclub, there I have a 5 in 10 date ratio.

There you have it folks, this is the limelight of 'OD'. Some reviews say that 'OD' is cheaper than going out in public to find a date but my math says otherwise. Really, is the frustration of online dating's slowness worth it to you?

In most cases a guy will pay $50 dollars to match.com or yahoo for a 3 month membership. This guy is lucky if he can even find 1 date. Most of the time this guy becomes burnt-ouy before his 3 months expire.

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The other review that stuck out among the others was that of Charles on the Match.com board. There are many cases of men falling in love with the profile of another female user. Sometimes this leads to cyberstalking. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that most stalkers are introverts and 'OD' is an introverts playground.

A couple women called Charles' review fake but they prpbably don't understand much about the types of users who frequent these sites. Nor do they undarstand much about emotions. For someone being a doctor or lawyer is one thing but their emotions are seperate. Any shrink would tell you this. When someone's lonley they can become prone to the power of their emotions. Seeing prefection in a woman or M.O.S. is something that can set off an emotional malfunction for someone who's alone. This happens all the time to people and it is quite painful. I quess that's why it's called a crush.

Alright..I'm tired of being nice, so let's cut to the chase and cease with the B.S. I’m not here to try to lie about my REAL self and gain someone else’s confidence by trying to ACCENTUATE MY POSITIVE TRAITS (which is what most of you do) and TOTALLY OMIT my other traits. Hell, sometimes I’m a JERK…and frankly, I enjoy it sometimes. You may not like what I’m about to express, and you may not agree with it…but I’m going to say it anyway, because 1) I don’t really care and 2) because some of you need to rethink the reasons for your presence on these online personals sites.

A man once said that the TRUTH is not always palatable and should not always be told. Well, I'm going to spill the beans about the MEAT MARKET that is online personals in general.

After much reflection and research, I've come to the conclusion that online personals are NOT the way to go if you're seriously looking for someone. Basically websites such as these attract undesirables from the dating scene:

the unattractive,

the overweight,

single parents,

the emotionally unstable, etc.

So in other words, online personals attract people looking for something that they can't have -- people whose stock value on the dating scene is higher than theirs. Let's face it -- everybody wants to hook up with what they perceive to be a winner. Everyone wants that trophy piece. A loser doesn't seek to hook up with another loser...LOL

FACT: Most people lead BORING lives and they look for someone who's going to inject some EXCITEMENT into it, so they come here, hoping to snag that guy/girl of their dreams that probably wouldn’t date them in real life. So you ante up your hard-earned dollars hoping that a person who normally wouldn’t look at your ugly behind would give you a shot, because you’re a “good” person. Yeah right.

Realize this -- online personals are all about the PICTURE. Everything else is a distant second. Ignore all of those cheesy, misleading articles that try to teach you how to write a decent profile – for all intents and purposes, it’s useless. We live in an image-driven society, and most people want the images that have been inculcated into their subconscious mind since birth via music, film, print, etc. As a prime example, you've got all kinds of guys writing women that are basically out of their league or women that are just sitting back and collecting e-mails, bypassing decent guys because there’s not “exciting” or “challenging” enough. Most of the good-looking women are already attached and are looking for something "extra" or they’re struggling, in search of a guy to “help them out” -- which is not necessarily a bad thing, by the way -- I'm just stating how it is.

Ladies, realize that the reason guys don't write you is because you're NOT ATTRACTIVE and/or you have TOO MANY CHILDREN. Period. Nobody cares what you know or what type of person you are -- at least not when they're searching the profiles.

Guys, realize that the reason women don't write you is because you're 1) NOT ATTRACTIVE or 2) YOU'RE BORING or 3) YOU'RE NOT FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT (or in more crass terms, BROKE) or 4) The women you write (who are probably physically attractive) have inboxes that are so deluged with messages from other horny and/or lonely guys, that she won’t be able to give YOUR message any meaningful face time. She’s just going to look at your PICTURE and if you’re not the crème de la crème, you have no shot. End of story.

Look, men and women who don't have trouble finding dates and are generally considered good catches DON'T USE ONLINE PERSONALS. Think about it.

Men that use these sites should realize that the ratio of men to women that use online personals is about 3 to 1. This means that you have mostly average-looking guys competing for relative few good-looking women on these sites. Men should realize that many of the above average-looking women are looking for nothing more than an ego boost, or "sponsor," or are just window shopping. It's a meat market, just like the bar scene that many of the women here claim to detest. Online personals can be a pretty lucrative business and is a pretty ingenious idea: preying on the loneliness of men and women who have trouble finding a date.

If you're a man, meet women the old fashioned way...approach them in public. Your success rate will be higher than waiting on some chick from some dating website to write you back after you took time out to write her flaky self a message.

If you're a woman and you're overweight and can't find a date, consider losing the weight and maybe you'll have more success. If you're not attractive or sexy, you're screwed. If you have multiple children and you're looking for a serious relationship, you're screwed. Most single men don't want a ready-made family. It may sound crass, but it's the TRUTH.

If you wish to express your admiration or displeasure with my words, I can be reached at cooldude98from78@yahoo.com. I’ll hear you out, then offer my expert opinion. :)

I have spoken.

Joe you must of had a revelation. You sentiments are absolutely without a fact the most real thing I have heard and put in such a concise manner. Dude you are write about padding your profile and something suggests you have learned all this through time, WAISTED time, that is. How many more complete idiots like me have to join these damn sites before something changes? Truth is there is almost no chance anyone finds anyone, let alone men. Women are too picky and men must look like my name. In fact I posted a pic of Hugh Jackman on my profile and my success rate went up but the kicker is that it's still lower than 20%. WTF.......how is it possible that even a celebrity only gets 20% response ratio to winks and emails? At this point I think the sites are a fraud and will ultimately go bankrupt. In the meanwhile, I continue to stand up as many women as possible by scheduling dates that I will never be at. It's my little way of "sticking it to the man."

Someday people will be real but not on a site that cultivates shallow pretenses such as income, height, and appearance. And guess what even if you do go by those, people will lie or water down their profile to get more responses!!! No I'm not honest and won't be until women become less shallow in their expectations. Hopefully I can create alot of enemies and destroy the dating scene in the process, not to mention, play with women's emotions.

I’m not sure why any online dating sites are still allowed to operate, and why anyone, especially men, continue to subscribe to them. First, you must get past the obvious scam, that being…there are *few* paying female members, when you are led to believe the site is buzzing with activity. Beyond that, you then have to weed through ads from other zip codes, ads for the morbidly obese, not to mention hundreds fake ads that clutter these sites. The writing in the profiles is often so incoherent, it’s like reading Xmas wish lists written by people with marginal literacy. Negativity, whining and complaining are the norm and some have such little written info you’re at a loss how to respond. If you do happen find an interesting profile, it’s obvious she’s only posted it there in hopes of dating someone in a higher income bracket. That slot for ‘desired salary’ is just so romantic.

The biggest joke about online dating is the pretense that it allows you to ‘connect’ with someone based on intangible qualities, like personality, mutual interests or goals…when in reality all it does is enable someone to efficiently evaluate you based on shallow, pre-determined criteria. Once you read about a hundred profiles you will realize anything that makes you remotely individual or interesting basically works against you and to get any sort of response you have to ‘pad your resume.’ It doesn’t matter if you speak Latin, love photography or compete in bodybuilding, writing an honest profile gets you nowhere. In the online dating world, apparently all women(regardless of their imperfections) want the trifecta…a 6ft. tall, 6 figure income trophy with a square jawline (who“doesn’t mind dressing in nice clothing for a night out on the town”).

Most people post the ‘free trial’ ads during cubicle screw-off time at work and have no intention of ever joining, let alone respond to every schmuck who sends a wink or icebreaker. Determining who the paying members are is difficult, and the amount of time you will waste sending out emails is directly proportional to how far you deviate from the prototype mentioned above. If you are ‘fortunate’ enough to meet a few of these women in real life, you will see they used their most flattering photo(s) in their profile. And of course, since many of them bring nothing to the table themselves, other than a nasty smoking habit and a warped sense of entitlement, you will wonder why you had to exchange three emails and misrepresent yourself just for a coffee date.

Granted, online dating is relatively inexpensive. But it’s essentially the exact opposite of speed dating--once you factor in your time, it quickly becomes a losing proposition since you will have to invest a lot of it to meet few women in return. It’s inefficient at best, and at worst, an outright fraud.

This service has one purpose - take your money and give you just enough but not too much so that you walk away ... Just as my subscription is about to end, I end up getting an email from this supposedly "part time model" - the problem is that I recognized the photo since I'd seen her on the cover of one of these fashion magazine. She happens to live in France! All of sudden she is in nerd city looking for middle aged men - right!