Reviews of eHarmony

WOW! A lot of people on this site have had very similar experiences to mine. I don't want to come off as 'sour grapes' here! HA! I DO believe it is possible for people to find more than just a casual relationship via e-harmony.... I just don't think I'm one of them. :)

It hasn't been good.... and to be brutally honest, if I had a low self-esteem going in (which, thank God I didn't), it could have been a crushing one. I know one friend who found her 'soul mate' and is married via e-harmony. Another just informed me she's meeting a guy this weekend and she sounds quite optimistic. I also know of two situations that led to divorce and countless more that led nowhere.... er, and one that was sort of 'scary' so BE WARE!

I think the "problem" with any on-line (or off, for that matter) dating in our present culture, has very little to do with the "service provider" and much more to do with our culture.... to quote Dr. Charles Stanley, "Too often we reject even the opportunity to get to know another person because the person isn't handsome or beautiful enough, isn't rich enough, doesn't come from the right kind of family, or doesn't have the right color of hair or the right laugh." Dr. Stanley is a Christian pastor and author, so the 'Christian' piece of the puzzle is implied... He suggests that we should be open to what God has for us. And moreover, that we should NOT be asking God for a person who meets our 'laundry list' of 'the perfect gal or guy.' Instead, we should ask God to "Give us what we NEED, not what we think we WANT." What He (God) will give us will be based not upon what we think would be appealing or satisfying but upon what He knows will be the best for us (as well as any potential partner) [excerpt from Dr. Stanley's book, "God has an Answer for Our Unmet Needs", p.163]. ...I think he's right.

Unfortunately, both men and women aspire to have what the culture deems 'valuable,' in the opposite sex and which, quite frankly, flies in the face of what is of any true and lasting value or worth. Let's face it, when a guy puts in his profile that he is looking for a woman who (and I quote), "..he won't be ashamed to be seen with," that speaks volumes regarding what he values. Um... I closed this guy down, though I'm sure he'd have done so to me, given the opportunity! HA! I NEVER used 'other'... I used, 'I don't think we have the same values'... DAH! Which, I didn't. I had no desire to know him. I'd have been ashamed to be seen in public with a guy with a heart like that!!!! :) ... regardless of his manly good looks! What troubled me the most about these types of comments (and there were a lot and a lot worse, I might add) was that they were supposedly coming from men sincere in their Christian faith??? I honestly, would rather not have been made aware of this alarming reality.

Now, I am not 'stunning,' but neither am I a 'troll.' Another comment a guy wrote was that he was looking for a gal who "... took care of herself." Hmmmm. I was so busy taking care of other people, I just didn't really think about expending time and energy on the 'me, me, me,' you know? However, this is a trait that isn't quite so valued. More is the pity. Oh, well... I truly think e-harmony works BEST (though, I'm sure there are a few exceptions to the rule with this) for people who meet all of the world's criteria for being 'valuable' or 'sought after,' ... you folks should have no difficulty at all meeting people who want to know you and spend time with you (regardless of what you are INSIDE,.. though, you could well be 'great' inside as well! HA! Or not... I'm just saying it won't matter and you'll have 'opportunity' based on the exterior that the rest of us won't)... and more power to you! You will not have to contend with what the rest of us have to..., which is a whole lot of rejection based on superficiality, shallowness or selfishness.. How tragic. There are so many great people out there, with so much to GIVE. Still, I'm an optimist. I haven't given up. Surely there are other people out there who think and feel the way I do. I just don't think I'm likely to find them on e-harmony.

The 'deal breakers' for me with 'on line dating' was age (child bearing capacity, anyone over 40 is going to have a hard time, even if you look like Angelina Jolie, most guys [and again, I'm sure there are some exceptions to this rule] in their 50s and 60s are going to want a woman 10 to 20 years younger), attractiveness (based on the culture's ideal, not mine, I ROCK! HA! :), education level (too much for some men's ego, though I could have cared less) and love of the Lord (which is only going to increase with time, not get 'shelved' :). These are all things I can't really do anything about, EVEN IF I WANTED TO,... which I don't. I like who I am and where I am heading. It'd just have been nice to have met someone headed in the same direction, you know? To gals in my situation, I'd advise NOT to waste your time and money. To the rest, I say, GOOD LUCK TO YOU but make sure you know HIS heart matches his face! :)

I doubt that Eharmony has many people in its database as I was constantly getting matches outside my area (sometimes 300+ miles away), matches who were clearly not subscribers, and matches with whom, after reading half of their profiles, it was clear I had very little in common. I guess I was lucky enough to meet a couple of people, but found that they were only looking for something casual (as opposed to the image of the site that the commercials portray of people looking for and finding their soul mates). I suppose this last point can't be blamed on the website, but it is something to be aware of before dishing out that hefty subscription fee for a few months of what mostly turns out to be false hope. It's probably better to try a simpler website where you have more control over the matches you get. Oh, and don't even get me started on their customer service department; I swear I've gotten better service at the DMV.

Hi, I have been on eharmony for about a month, what a waste of time and not to mention the large subscription price. Never again. Everyone tells me I am cute, very fit (I workout, running, walking etc 6 days a week), very petite, funny, yet even these fat men, very skinny men, very ugly men closed my match with "I don't see any chemistry". And I also don't understand how you can match me with men who want kids. I marked that answer maybe. Maybe and Yes are very big differences. Most of the people they matched me with are no longer on there, 3 of them have it listed on their profile! It's a scam!

I was on Match.com for a while, and granted most men were just there looking to "score", I also found some really nice guys too. So if you try that one, be careful of the players. Now, I am going to try it on my own. I have 2 more months left on eharmony but I figure why bother, my plan is to take off my picture, strip down my profile to very basic answers then cancel. Please don't waste your money, I beg you.

By the way I found one guy in one month and all he wants to do is chat by email. That's it....just chat "How are you? How was your day?" This has been going on for 4 weeks, very odd.

Good Luck.

This site sucks. The so called scientific matches are crap. They just keep sending matches regardless of your criteria preferences.They are much more expensive than other sites, totally un-resposive to any complaints and if they are more than 30% successful I'd be very surprised given that at least half the matches I've received were from limited free trials. Save your money, go to a local bar and have a drink instead, at least if you don't find a date you'll have gotten out of the house!

I have tried eharmony and am currently a "member" although I have a free subscription for another month and will probably cancel afterwards....it's been difficult but I was half blaming myself since I am overweight and men don't have the tolerance and acceptance that women do in that area (look around or watch TV, always hot chick with fat sexist man...) anyway, I think that's part of the slow going I have experienced, but I did meet a great guy, went out a couple times and it was SO comfortable, it was as if we had always known each other, but there was no physical chemistry so I broke it off. Computers can't create chemistry.

The site does constantly send matches of guys that say they work out all the time and spend all their time at the gym (which I think is a load of crap from 98% of the men trying to sound athletic and attractive) so I have to weed these ego maniacs out and not waste my time, and there are very few matches that have the same interests and comments I do, but there are a few that I send the "get started questions" to but never receive an answer. What I have noticed is that the "closed" messages I receive from matches, are not any of the people I see on my end as a match.....can't figure that one out. Shouldn't the match be sent to both sides?

But I have a very close family friend that was totally open and honest with eharmony and he found his true soulmate. She's perfect and they will be married soon. It does work for people. Just can't work for everyone in the world.

I have tried e-harmony a couple of times only to be matched with either those that have nothing in common with me or never recieve any communication from the 3 I have been interested in. I was never into this online dting so I thought I would try it only to find out that even though I am as busy as I am I have had better luck meeting people by myself. I don't understand if there is all of these people out there wanting to meet a nice looking stabile gentlemman why it would be so hard for the professionals to find matches that are compatable with you. I must say I am less than impressed

Thanks for your postings as they reminded me that I don't ever wish to try online dating again. I was about to try eHarmony again after Yahoo! Personals. I was a member of eHarmony for over a year and kept being sent referrals to men who were out of my age request. I didn't want to end up a widow or taking care of someone in ill health much older than I. You're correct in that, to keep you going, I was offered deeper and deeper discounts to stay. I'm convinced that, even though I do know three friends who have been successful with online dating, success stories are the rare ones. If a match is going to happen, it will have to happen the old fashioned way - personal contact. For some of us, it may never happen. Good luck to all of you who still hope and wish.

too bad you cannot select no stars. eharmony is, very simply, and unmistakenly, a scam.
there is no other possibility

i selected only women from w/in a certain geographic area , and they sent me matches from all over hell. i am a very fit and healthy man and selected that as very important, and they sent me dozens and dozens of obese women. the list goes on and on . i even did a couple test selections and it becomes immediately clear that they don't pay the slightest attention to any "scientific methods" or any methods , for that matter other than the method of cashing your check.
i cannot emphasize enough how bogus this website is and what a waste of money. go hang out in the fresh produce section of your local grocery store and your chances of meeting a good match will be infinitely higher, i assure you.

please, do yourself a favor and avoid eharmony like the plague.

I do not doubt that eHarmony works. However, you have to 'pay' to 'play'. I believe that as a member you are actually auditioning for eHarmony from the get-go.

Another poster here mentioned being patient with the process. This is completely true. To protect their paying serious clientle, eHarmony isn't going to introduce you to their core membership until they are certain that you are committed to the process.

Unfortunately for the internet dater, money speaks louder than actions. Not until you have made it through several of their hurdles will they begin to send you matches that are actually any good. This is true of most dating sites and services, even ones that are not internet based. Simply put, they are baiting you along. (the old carrot in front of the horse trick)

Let's face it, dating services are a flawed industry. Yes, you may ultimately find someone, but it's more or less like gambling or playing the lottery. You're better off not wasting your time and money.

well after reading the reviews i had to leave one .
i'm a 36 year old man who did not lie about anything on my profile . i did meet 2 people off the site one of which i had a ton in common with and thought it might be the one and the other not so much . i called another on the phone a few times and then she just kept putting me off . i would have to agree about the amount of nonresponsive profiles . i must have sent 30m - 40 flirts or what ever they call it and got about 10 back out of that 10 i think 5 actually went through the whole question process . it got to the point were i just went to fast track with no better luck . i'm not sure if online dating is for me or not but what else is there ? i joined singlesnet.com just to see if it was eharmony or all internet sites . so far it is a little better and to join for a year was only $90 , so for the money it is worth it i guess . well see ?