Reviews of eHarmony

Back when I was doing the online dating thing I gave eHarmony a try. Match was kind of like an online meat market, but eHarmony promised real compatibility based on a supposedly sophisticated personality profiling test. Rumor had/has it that they even reject people once in a while for flunking the profiling test which is or was supposedly the same one used by the FBI (this was some time ago, maybe that claim/rumor has changed).

I wasn't really ever happy with eHarmony. I kept getting matches assigned to me that were much older (at the time I wasn't gonna entertain that) and very "stuffy shirt" kind of people that I thought I'd have nothing in common with (me with degrees in the arts).

Anyhoo the real failure of eHarmony was apparent when they matched me up with a vivisector -- yes, I kid you not. At the time I was vegan and occasionally went to the circus to hand out leaflets protesting the cruel animal training practices. Get this: They match an animal welfare advocate with someone who experiments on animals for a living. Ya think their "sophisticated" test would've caught a huge error like that, but obviously it didn't.

Me being the open-minded type, I looked at the man's profile and sent him a nice note. I told him I wasn't really comfortable proceeding. I didn't say anything nasty as I understand people have feelings. I simply told him I advocate for animals in my spare time -- like saying I play badminton... same tone. This guy flipped out on me and sent me a scathing, frightening rant. Nevermind that he didn't know me or how respectful and "proper" my advocating activities were (like bailing dogs out of the pound on their execution day). This guy went berserk. I gotta tell ya, there's a real good reason he was single... dude was imbalanced, which was quite evident from his freaky note to me. Now, I should've probably picked up on it earlier from his profile which had some bizarre elements as well (he adopted an infant daughter from Asia as a single man and referred to her as his "princess" numerous times -- something like 10 -- in his profile. It was beyond a reasonable amount and not "normal"). But his irrational, bizarre rant was the proverbial last straw... I had enough evidence the guy had a screw loose in his PhD-addled brain.

So, eHarmony failed on two counts really. They made an extremely poor match -- their profiling test matched up a vivisector with an animal advocate. And, despite the supposed protections in their profiling test to weed out imbalanced people, they also let a guy who appeared to be a psycho through and unleashed him on innocent women.

I'm sure there are some people out there that are glad they used eHarmony and are happily married. They probably live in Cleveland or Little Rock. I can just tell you from my experience however, that it's not any better than any other service out there. And, funny enough I did meet my boyfriend online and it wasn't on eHarmony. It was on another service during a 3-day free trial period and I chose him myself... sent him a "wink" and the rest is history. I liked what he said in his profile and that was that.

There's something to be said for being your own authority and not letting a machine or algorithm choose your mate for you.

I think eharmony has the same flaws as all other dating websites. The information provided is limited to the honesty and self awareness of the person that is inputing the data. Eharmony matched me with several successful, kind, attractive men. I was even engaged to one man after 2 years of dating, but cancelled the wedding. What I discovered of emharmony is true of dating in general. In order for a relationship to be successful and fulfilling to both parties involved they both must know who they are, what they want and have the ability to communicate on a deep level. If these skills are missing the relationship is doomed to failure. Eharmony is limited as we all are in realm of dating, by the self awareness of the person we are dating.

Imani says: "Real men...strong, powerful accomplished men do not join eHarmony, except perhaps to purchase toys."

So is that type of cynicism the reason why I never joined despite all the deals they offered me and the barrage of women who were sent to my e-mail as potential "soul mates"... because I'm a strong, powerful, accomplished REAL man? Maybe... but it's much deeper than that. I'm also a discerning, rational man that's a good judge of character and potential... and frankly, I didn't see much of either in many of the women on E-Harmony no matter how "strong, independent, intelligent, well educated and physically attractive" they "appeared" to be. What seem to be predominate among those types of women with all their "perfections" was NARCISSISM... and that's a trait that I'm absolutely tired of encountering in my search for "the one".

"Self-acclaimed" strong, independent, intelligent and well educated, physically attractive women, let me let you in on a little secret: NO "REAL MAN" IS OR CAN BE "INTIMIDATED BY" YOU... BUT HE CAN GET QUITE "IRRITATED WITH" YOU. No real man with a deep sense of self who's humble enough to bear all for the sake of love wants to be with a woman who wears a constant chip on her shoulder just because she's accomplished some "stuff". What "we" want to know is are you capable of loving someone other yourself and too many "eligible" women fall short of that requirement in their search for a "real" man with their superficial checklists.

I found it quite humorous that in Imani's post that the men she described who have supreme qualities who are on E-Harmony ARE ALSO screwed up egomanical, toy chasin', "cyber-sadists" (???) at the same time. This is type of cynical, delusional double-talk I encounter when dating on regular basis and tells me ALL I need to know about THAT woman and her REAL opinion of men in general... and I appropriately exit stage left without shame or regret.

The Woman I'm seeking has a genuine heart, understanding and empathy for others, a sense of community, has some kind of artistic talent or hobby, is never too sophisticated to be romantic or laugh out loud in public, and is more comfortable walking in a park than she is walking through the mall. Simple enough right? But these days, trying to find THAT woman is like trying to find a straw of hay in a needle stack without getting "stuck".

And if you've noticed, I never mentioned that the woman I seek had to be , "strong, physically attractive, independent, or well-educated". WHY? Because the type of woman I seek ALWAYS has those qualities... it's a given, especially in the eyes of her beholder. She's not just another female clone produced from the "I'm all that" assembly line with a "chip" in their brains that causes them to talk incessantly about how fantastic they are to anyone who'll listen to or read it.

Women like that have NO idea how BORING and IRRITATING that is to a REAL man that may "hit it" as circumstances dictate... but will NEVER "love" her "unconditionally". There's a BIG difference between SELF-CONFIDENCE and NARCISSISTIC BABBLING... the former gets respect FROM "real" men... the latter gets "played" BY any man that has the time.

You happened to find someone whom you believe is a "great catch" for you, and as you stated "you lucked up;" The questions now are... would you still have been this big an eharmony defender, had you not met this person, and was still being swindled and deceived like the rest of us? Would you still have been this big eharmony defender, if you were to find out, that this person is not all that he appears to be? Good profession, goodlooks, good talk, good game and perhaps a narcissistic cyber-sadist, who seeks to prey upon seemingly simple minds like yours? The service known as eHarmony.com, is an obvious and deliberate game, aimed at targeting the desperation created through the formulation of vain and unrealistic sterotypes by society. No matter how long one stays with the service, the odds of finding campatablity are overwhelmingly small, in fact, too small to survive the gamble. This is reality and no amount of positive thinking, can conquer scientific reality. Sure, as with everything else, some freak occurances can materialize and a few people can actually find , or think they have found, what's right for them through the process, however, this happens no where close to the frequency that they present in their bold commercial claims. Strong, independent, intelligent and well educated women, no matter how pyhsically attractive, stand a minus zero chance of finding a compatible match via this site, since either the weak, controlling, ego-starved men who join this travesty, are too imtimidated by her power, or she herself would not think of wasting a moment out of her day on their pathetic stupidity. So if you are a slow, needy underachiever, who is "star-struck" by what some veiled, ego-maniac presents and who is willing to bow down to him and his accomplishments, because they so far surpass your own, and if you are willing to be controlled and used as a trophy, to feed his narcissistic inner-man, then by all means, go for it, you might "luck-up" and beat the odds. Real men...strong, powerful accomplished men do not join eHarmony, except perhaps to purchase toys. minus zero stars to this one!

I was reading some of these reviews for eHarmony and I don't understand the disappointment. Yeah, it requires more than a month’s worth of patience, wants you to be open minded about qualities in a person and encourages you to go beyond 50 miles of your area. The distance flexibility is understandable. You aren't having luck at the bar? Thinking you’re going to randomly walk into him or her at the grocery store, or the cute fairy tale story that seems unrealistic... but who said that he or she of your dreams is down your street? It wants you to be real and not settle, get to the point of it, the root of what you want in someone. Hence the questions. I'm defending EHarmony because I went through the process of communication a few times, didn’t get anywhere and discovered I had to give it some time (more than a month) and man! Did I luck up! I found the guy that challenges me, blows my mind every conversation, makes me be real with myself and will be my husband. I was the girl that dated a lot, and settled even more. It is different (online dating) and at times awkward to explain how you met when people ask, but when I see what came out of it, him, I want to encourage more people to join a site like eHarmony.
It might not be for everyone but it is a good place to try. Of course you should be careful! Meet where there are people, use common sense and go into it with caution. You should be doing that with any new fella or gal in a new environment and/or new relationship. Don’t assume that it’s going to let you down, because then you’re setting yourself out for failure. I hope the nay-sayers find what they’re looking for, but also look with open eyes.

I feel cheated by Eharmony. I was browsing the web one day and came across their promotion - 1 month subscription. I signed on. Like many others here I receive practically no matches from Eharmony for days and when I do they are far from the man I've described in the long and tedious questionaire (it's an ongoing saga). I wanted to resign and found that they have already charged my credit for a full year. I went back to read the agreement and found that I could resign now but my subcription will continue for the year they've charged me for and there's no refund. I am annoyed and disgusted by their underhanded methods of soliciting clients. They should be taken to task. I have advised my friends never to sign up on Eharmony.

Damn GB. That was one effed up story. But in my brief experience with it, I think that ALL e-dating is catered to relationship failure with VERY FEW exceptions. The odds are definitely not in your favor whether you're male or female and regardless of the odds because generally, people just aren't what what they appear to be and they plan it that way... and if you enter a relationship with falsehoods, how can you possibly expect it to come out truthfully?! It's like adding 6 + 7 and expecting it come out to "2". That's why the internet is compared to "virtual" reality instead of just plain "reality".

I'm done with the whole process. As "eligible" as I've been told I am, I'd rather end up as an old single playa in a nursing home mackin' all the senior ladies or become a sugar daddy than try internet dating again looking for "the one". It's a huge waste of time and money... not to mention a self-esteem drainer "if" you allow yourself to get caught up into it. As many looks and smiles as I get from women just being out and about, I think I can do better with ANY of them than I can with ANY one I meet online. All I have to do is become less busy with my work to "focus" and I'll be just fine.

So good luck to you and next time, like the song says... "take your time and do it right". Because it's not the quaNTity of time, it's the quaLIty of time spent that makes life and relationships special. Peace.

I am only giving e-harmony 2 stars because I thought that compared to other dating websites it was an easy format. However, I had the most HORRIBLE experience. It was NOT their fault, however, let it be a reminder that everyone lies.

In March 2009 I met my husband on E-harmony. His profile stated he wanted kids, was never married, and his profile spoke of family, honesty, humility, etc.etc.

I got caught up and believed more than I should have, always remember his fabulous profile was in the back of my mind. I should have seen the red flags and acted on them but I think, and it was my own fault, I kept seeing that profile and thinking that was the man he really was.

We got married, so we get get started on a family. It was soon but we are both in our late 30"s and I thought we were both committed. Also, apparently because he needed a green card-something that came out later as well. As time went on the lies came out more and more. I was actually his fourth wife, he didn't want kids until a few years (after his green card). It turned out that he is not even eligible under current law to get a green card. During our entire marriage/dating he was on ashleymadison.com, myspace, craigslist, and a lot of other "dating" websites. He was posting personal ad's for sex and having all of these responses go to a secret e-mail. I found it all out a few weeks ago and I kicked him out and praying for an annulment. Also, as a side note I had run a background check on him. Most background checks only pick up past residences, lawsuits, and criminal activity. He did not, he just likes to marry women, lie to them, and have affairs.

Today, I found out that 6 days after we separated, on April 15th 2010, he actually re-signed up for e-harmony. I contacted e-harmony but I don't think they really care, and they won't give me any information any way.

Just wanted others to learn from my mistake. Really check out the person you go out with, don't be swayed by anything they said on profile because it may be a huge lie, date for a long time-the truth is always revealed.

This website deserves no stars whatsoever. This site sucks. I spent 2 days filling out their stupid personality profile, and then, when i had finished, they " were very sorry", but they could not predict any good matches for me. I hate eharmony.

The only reason I'm giving e-Harmony 2 stars is because it's really no better or worse than any other dating site... just more expensive. And if you're willing and able to spend your hard earned money on what's nothing more than a hope and a prayer, then that's ON YOU. I wouldn't tell anyone not to spend their money on e-Harmony just like I wouldn't tell them to play the lottery. Because trying to find the "perfect" mate on e-Harmony... or on ANY dating site for that matter... IS like playing the lottery hoping to win with ONE ticket... and that one ticket is YOU.

Furthermore, the entire internet meeting-dating thing is built for failure. Too many people with too many delusions that tell too many lies with the nerve to have too many expectations to receive more than they're willing or "able" to give. People keep looking for stereotypical "perfection" on personal sites... when they SHOULD be looking for someone that's just as screwed up as they are. Because who else than someone who can empathize with YOUR idiosyncrasies can understand you better OR find it easier to love YOU "unconditionally"?! LOL!

There's an old song by Lou Rawls with the lyric, "What's the matter with the world, has the world gone mad? Nothing's wrong with the world... it's the people that's IN IT." Women who are 5'4" and under only wanting men who are 6'0" and over... Average men who ALWAYS been average wanting exceptional, well-rounded women... etc., etc. It's ALL BS... and the biggest lies are those that people tell THEMSELVES.

And so goes e-Harmony and every other internet dating site out there. Of course they're getting rich... because they feed off of the insecurities of people who are out of touch with THEIR OWN reality. You'd be better off trying to meet someone of substance at an event of common interest "in person". Of course, there's no guarantees doing that either... but at least you'll feel "human" because you'll have BE human while you're doing it.