Reviews of Lavalife

Hello, after reading through the other reviews I thought I would add my comments.

I am (I really am!) young, highly educated, fit and easy on the eye. And, I would say i'm a pretty nice person. Since moving to vancouver, I've discovered three of my new girlfriends are also on lava. They are also gorgeous, both inside and out!! Too good to be true you say?...

Some of you out there sound angry and disillusioned about the whole thing. I suppose there may be a lot of fake profiles out there, but I happen to know of a few profiles that are the real thing. What's more, there are a lot of real guys out there as well! I've had a great time with every single one of the dates i've had from lava. In a few cases it hasn't gone any further, sometimes because of me, sometimes because of them. I have made quite a few really good friends from the remainder. I actually even fell in love with one guy, who i would never have met in any other circumstance, but then I suppose he decided I wasnt right for him :(. But that is part of it and I move on.

You are probably not doing yourselves a service if you approach an interaction with 'this is fake, this is going to be a waste of my time'. The other person can pick it up on it, i certainly can, and it is a turn off. Also, i guess you have to trust that the other person knows what they want. If it isn't you well... my attitude when that happens is its too bad, their loss, and then I move on.

I have interacted with a few a**holes as well, but i refuse to lose my 'innocence' about the whole thing. I choose to see the best in people and trust I will just find out sooner or later whether it's true. Knowing that is my attitude, I don't get as disappointed when the reality is not quite what i'd expected (and really, it never is, only sometimes the reality is actually quite nice, not too bad!) My god there are so many people on internet dating!! And so many different types of people as well. I don't expect to find the perfect person after a couple of weeks on a place like lava.

And also, interestingly, because of the people i have met so far from lava, i have actually changed, what i want has actually been slightly modified, am actually becoming something new. Those people contributed something to my life whether or not we are still in contact. That's the only thing about my profile that's probably out of date i guess, i should fix that....

This is about as run of the mill a dating site as you can get.... Unfortunatly i agree with a lot of the other people who have posted on here....

If your looking for an over night fling.. DONT put your profile in relationship!! Is that such a hard concept? Mr "young, professional, looking to settle with a nice homey girl" is also in the orange section looking for "swaping, fetishes, a no strings quickie and some hardcore Be*ver licks" Like.. does anyone else see anything wrong with this?

I have paid my big 19bucks to have credits... but dont find that it helps much... i guess few girls in ottawa have creidts as most guys dont really seem to know what to do when they get messages, or send backstages...

I think lava's web design is horrible.. i could redesign a more easy to navigate site in my sleep...

But then again.. i've been on lava life a very long time.. .back when it was webpersonals before it got bought by lava.... and i have met some VERY great people this way.... Unfortunatly i think like most have said here... in the last few years.. the word is out...

Low self esteem guys... not so great guys... liars.. cheats.. married men/women... etc... can now post a profile.. and have most girls/guy at their place doing the nasty in under 24 hours....

Lavalife has made the whole dating ritual to easy and expendable... why stick something out and work on it.. when you can repost and meet 20 available peoples in 15 mins?

so what the hell is a young professional like myself still doing there??

To be honest folks.. I really couldnt tell you.....

Hope....

Had been on lavalife for about 3 months, had chatted with a few men - dated intermittently. This review is in response to the (obviously unattractive) male who denigraded women in his own review, with emphasis on the stupidity of the women he had the displeasure of interacting with. First of all, I am a highly intelligent, independent, funny woman (note the emphasis on this word instead of "chick" and "girl"), who also happens to be 5'3, 115 lbs, blonde hair, blue eyes, and voluptuous (real, by the way). I joined lava with the expectation of getting to meet men in a relatively innocuous medium, where I can chat with them, get to have a sense of their sense of humor (or lack thereof), and see if their intelligence and attractiveness exhibited are enough to warrant agreeing to meet for coffee. Well - there were a half-dozen males whose profiles gave even a hint of wit, attractiveness, or smarts. Just so you know, Mr Jerk, men can be just as idiotic as you describe women to be, if not worse - because they somehow believe that, in addition to being a moron, they can remain content with being paunchy, balding, sloppy weenies (and they don't MIND posting photos showing themselves this way!) who ask to meet attractive women, then have the laughable gall to say they only want "fun, not anything heavy". At least most women have a sense of physical appearance. It makes me laugh that a clearly-unattractive guy has the cajones to REQUIRE a woman to be cute, smart, etc, when they definitely can't even measure up themselves to their own expectations. Mr Wonderful, here's a newsflash: the great gals you have had drawn to you are NOT waiting for your approval. Sure, maybe they have been naive enough to let their hair down and be spontaneous, not knowing that your obviously low self-esteem (could it be that maybe you are a bit small...minded?!) is the real reason you have problems meeting women to connect with, so you judge them immediately and then discard them. Of course, not before fucking them, right? Or are you too discerning of a high-quality guy to do that? Yeah, right. By the way, the rating of 2 has nothing to do with the quality of the service, but the quality of the losers who spend too much time cruising for an easy lay. I quit lava because I'd rather meet real guys and get to know them the old-fashioned way, by meeting them surreptitiously. Mr Wonderful, do YOU know what that word means? One last sentiment for the road: go fuck yourself.

I've reviewed some of the reviews that were written about Lavalife. Some of details described about this particular site are so true I couldn't help but laugh. It is so true that many of the profiles that I've reviewed on that site are so ridiculously inflated, it's just not funny. The site is not really a problem for me, just the users.

A few weeks back I met up with a fellow and he seemed really nice, down to earth and a true gent. After our meet, I went home and delved further into his use. I found his profile in the intimates section. I couldn't believe my eyes. Ladies, before meeting up with anyone from this site make sure he's not a dirt bag looking for a friend with benefits.

For safety reasons ensure you let someone know where, who and when you are going to meet this person. You never know who's on the other side of the monitor.

Gents, I don't play both fields, but I've also read the female profiles from lavalife. I can agree with you that some of them are high maintenance ladies with a profile with tinge of bit*hiness and attitude in them. Be careful of who you contact and read the profiles carefully.

To both genders: Please do not over inflate your profile. I've had one guy post his profile height as 5'10. There are two problems with this, the first is how the heck am I going to recognize who you are when you are shorter than what you've posted and the second is if you can lie the first time around, what makes me think you won't do it a second time?

If you are lucky, you may find the one true love online. Realistically, these sites are made for friendships or as in paragraph 2... sex.

Good luck to everyone.

For crying out loud people...it's a dating website, there is no guarentee that you will actually meet people. The site is supposed to act as a medium for you to possible hit it off with someone. I will admit that there are some fake people on there, and some really weird ones as well, but there are a lot of decent people on there as well.

If you're not getting responses, then maybe you're doing something wrong. I get a kick out of all of these people who cry that they don't get any intertest, try something different, put up a picture, try a new picture, write a new profile. I mean come on.

As for the price, yeah, so they charge, but think about how much money you would spend in a night going to a club ($10 at the door, plus how ever mmuch on cabs and drinks). So really, $14.00 isn't that bad.

Treat Lavalife for what it is...a half decent dating website, and if you think it's more than that, then you got problems.

ATTENTION ALL LADIES! LAVALIFE IS FULL OF CREEPY GUYS. NO ONE READS THE BIOS OR HAS ANY INTEREST IN WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR - MET THREE OF THE MOST RELATIONSHIP-PHOBIC, PATHOLOGICAL LIARS THROUGH THIS SITE. BE VERY CAREFUL WHO YOU END UP ACTUALLY MEETING OR GIVING YOUR NUMBER TO! I'm sure the site is full of decent human beings, but 3 for 3 is a total scam. And it's not just me - I've talked to MANY other people who've had problems with meeting people for serious relationships on this site. My advice? Don't post a picture - seriously! The people you want to stay away from are the ones who look just scroll through the site "meat-market" style and don't pay any attention to what you've taken the time to write in your bio about what you're looking for in a relationship. And the credits thing is ridiculous - there's no way to get your money back if you decide not to use the site anymore, even if you still have credits left! My advice, go to eHarmony - if you're honest on the personality profile (and I really mean it, be honest, even if you think it might paint you as an undesireable person) you'll find someone. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and we met through eHarmony after I was signed up for ONE WEEK - getting married next year. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Guys, listen to me, as I am only going to say this once:

The girls on Lavalife are on there for a REASON... Mainly because 99% of them are whackjobs that can't think properly, or even hold a conversation. I'm not trying to be a jerk here, but it's true. And no, the same can NOT be said about men. Why? Because, in all honesty, most of the men are on lava because meeting a girl in person at a party/bar/club/whatever is more gut wrenching than Fear Factor, and girls know this.

Think of it, how often does a girl get NERVOUS when talking to a guy at a party? Very seldom, because girls generally know that they have say in where the relationship will go from there, and that guys aren't as shallow as girls, and thus will not shoot you down because of the car you drive/job you have/clothes you wear/etc..

Guys will adore you if you have an ounce of personality, unfortunatley most girls lack this, and thus rely on their big boobs and tight ass to lure the Sugar Daddy.

Also, girls, you don't hold all the cards when it comes to lava chatting. Saying "lol" and "yeah" and "cool" after every single paragraph the guy types gets noticed, trust me. Guys will usually be nice and not bother telling you that he could type better with his toes than you can with your hands, but trust me, he's losing interest in you by the minute.

Anyways, I have met 6 girls from lava in the past month and a half. Only ONE was able to keep up a good conversation and not just shake her titties in my face for 3 hours thinking that would do it for me. Unfortunately, she was about 200 lbs (her profile said she was "average", mind you), so I guess she just made up for that by being a liar. Anyways, I cut communication from her the next day... Fat liar. Why lie about things like this? Did she think I wouldn't NOTICE?

So, as I was saying, I've met 6. Now, the other 5 were fuck ups, plain and simple. Now, I by no means think I'm perfect, far from it, but I do have some general sense on what to say and what NOT to say on a first date... Why do girls think it's cute to practically PUKE on this rule?

General Rules: GIRLS READ! ---------------------------

No, I don't want to hear how many guys you've had sex with. Especially those you've slept with just days before meeting me.

No, I don't want to hear about the car(s) your last boyfriend drove, and how his car(s) put mine to shame.

No, I don't think it's funny that you burp and fart infront of me 2 hours into our date.. Oh yes, I really want to take you home to meet my parents... Pig.

No, I don't want to see your dumb ass get up and dance in my livingroom because a clubbing song you like is on the radio... Face it, club dancing looks retarded when it's being done next to a friggin' coffee table in a room with no fancy lighting... Seriously, you just look like an idiot starving for attention.

Yes, I do care that you have a kid. Thanks for bringing that up 3 hours into our date, and not telling me over lavalife, THANKS!

Yes, please take off those hooker boots you decided to wear to the Mandarin (chinese restaurant). You look like you're about to shovel some hay into a cows mouth.

No, Don't bring you friend on our date... I paid my money and used my credits on lava to talk to you, and to see you, NOT to entertain your dumbass friend. And as much as I love sitting in the background and watching you make 200+ inside jokes with your friend about people I couldn't possibly know, I think I'll pass.

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Are these rules THAT hard to follow? Would you believe me if I told you that these are taken DIRECTLY from the 6 girls I've met from lava? If you ARE surprised, let me tell you something, I am not.

I don't blame lava, really, I think this behavior is quite common on all online dating services.

Like I said at the beginning of this review, girls on Lavalife are on there for a REASON. Reason being? They are severely LACKING somewhere in the mental prowess.

one thing I've learned, is when a girl from lava tell you that you're the 11th guy she's met from lava, you really, REALLY have to heed the warning.

* WARNING: GIRL IS A PSYCHOPATCH *

Anyways, guys, be weary of the girls on lava, they tend to NOT be the person they claim to be on lava, but will try their damnedest to convince you that they can squeeze their thights into that pair of size 6 jeans.

Please, ladies, use your damn brains. Guys notice when you lie, we just tend to be nice about, and then we just stop returning your phone calls.

Oh, and those fake/planted lavalife profiles are a bitch, too.

- Mike

Wow, I cannot even begin to describe how horribly UN-user-friendly this site is. It gets my vote for having the worst interface. Nothing about navigating through the site is intuitive.

Like other sites, most of the profiles appear to be fake. Prices are a rip off. 50 credits for $14.95, and it takes 6 credits to email someone. So that means you can email 8 people at about $1.87 per email. That's outrageous!! Other sites I've seen that use credits charge about half that.

Lavalife is so poorly designed and so laughably expensive, it gives me a headache just talking at it.

my experience has been mostly positive on lava. in 3 months, 9 dates, although after weeding out the "married looking for trouble" ones and the "oh my god you are not like your picture" ones, 3 real ones. those 3 however were very nice and honest in their expectations. I have had no where near the same success with match.com or yahoo personals which charge by the month regardless of success.

yes I get hits from Thailand and Russia to try to get me to burn credits. yes, 80 miles away being considered local in their search engine, is stupid. the credit system does not make much sense (why 6 credits and not 5 since they are sold in blocks divisible by 5). yes lots of postings are never going to give responses (ego stroke postings). and yes women with public pictures are going to get random hard core unsolicited photos. all valid complaints

my biggest complaint is that the intimate section is very active and the dating section sits for weeks at a time with no activity. I have talked to several who told me they dont expect answers on the dating section anymore, so they go to the intimate encounters section, with no interest or intention of any such encounter. that may be a regional problem.

but overall, i like lava because I control my cost, spend what i want, and I do meet real people.

So…I am highly educated with a high IQ. I’m athletic and I’m pretty sure that I’m good looking (ok, I am). You know what else? I’m so frickin’ nice it is sickening. I haven’t found “the one” so I thought I’d try “Grab-a-Life”, I mean Lavalife. I can’t even get a woman to reply to me, never mind go out with me! What do these women want? I can’t help but to think that most of the women on Lavalife are just looking for a sugar-daddy. Honestly I think that because I am still working on my PhD. (translation=no money), women just don’t want to be bothered with me. Have no doubt, that people who use internet dating services are a select group of people and the ones who choose Lavalife are even more “select”. No, not everyone is the same, but most seem to be young people with careers or in University who are better than average looking and who “love going frickin’ hiking” even though you know damn well, none of them have ever gone hiking in their entire lives. I used to go hiking, but where I grew up we called it “getting lost in the bush”. There’s no bush in Ottawa.

Suddenly my high self-esteem has gone to the toilet! Like it has been said before, there are many more men than women on Lavalife and I think a lot of women get an inflated sense of self-importance because of it. What do I mean? This profile pretty much sums it up…To start with is she great looking? You can look her up and decide for yourself. Somehow she has the audacity to post this profile:

“ASTRO_GIRL1 Know the rules - read my profile BEFORE contacting me!

Hi. I have been here for several months, and it appears as though every guy on Lavalife wants a chance to date me. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but you must know that I have my choice of guys, and that I will not even consider you unless you are a 9+ in terms of looks, personality, intelligence, and career. If you do not have a picture, you will not be considered, and your messages will be deleted. If you contact me and I am interested, I might not respond immediately, as I may have to consider you in relation to my other options. But if you are feeling lucky, by all means instant message me. However, DO NOT attempt to message me again, even if you think you are being considered; I will delete your messages and you will lose any potential chance that you have. So once again, here are the rules: -you must be a 9+ -you must have a picture -do not contact me more than once -and if I don't respond, I'M NOT INTERESTED Any violation of the rules and you will have ZERO chance of being considered.”

Good luck with that one guys. That’s not the first one I’ve read like that either. If anyone cares what I think about the turn-ons and turn-offs, for profiles on Lavalife, then here are a few:

1. Don’t put up a picture with a guy in the picture, even if he is mostly cropped out and even if it really is your brother.

2. Smile in your picture. I don’t want to date the next “supermodel-on a-mission”. Your smile reveals more about you than anything. Don’t make pouty or kissy faces either.

3. Don’t put up a picture of yourself with a drink in your hand. I don’t know…that’s just my personal thing I guess.

4. If you have kids say so in the profile.

5. Don’t put up a picture that makes you look better than what you are.

6. If someone sends you a smile and you are interested, then write back, don’t send a smile back! You are just saying, “yeah I’m sort of interested but because I want a sugar-daddy there is no way that I am spending money on credits to write you back” Unless a profile specifies “write me” I just send a smile to begin with, because it is less “invasive” that way, somehow it seems more polite.

7. Two words: Spell checker!

8. Don’t call yourself “Sex Kitten” or “2 cute 4 u” or something stupid like that, that refers to sex, or how good looking you are.

9. If you have a picture up don’t tell me how great-looking you are, I can SEE your picture.

10. Save the “Hustler” style clothes and poses for “Intimate Encounters”. Guys don’t generally want to date sluts.

11. Don’t use your profile to said angry messages to people who you have dated on Lavalife that didn’t work out.

12. Don’t talk about past relationships at all in your profile. I don’t want to know!

13. Before contacting one woman, I checked to see if she had a profile in “Intimate Encounters” and she did. I didn’t contact her. What is it that you are really looking for? What kind of foundation are you trying to start a relationship on? If you are into one-night stands, that’s fine, but don’t post a profile in the “Relationship” section saying you are looking for that one special guy and then a different one in “Intimate Encounters” saying the exact opposite!

14. Don’t say things in your profile you don’t really mean. This was on another site actually, but I was thinking of contacting one woman but she said she was only interested in guys that were at least 6’3”! I am 6’2”, so “oh, well!” Did she really mean that?

15. Somehow it is also a turn-off when people “secretly” give their email address out in their profile. Don’t you think Lavalife deserve to be paid for the service they are providing you? They have families too!

16. If you have definite age limits then save everyone some grief, and include that in you profile.

I actually like the way Lavalife is set up. If you contact people a lot, it might be cheaper to use a pay-by-the-month plan on another site, but if you are like me, and rarely contact anyone, then the credit system is great!

I’ll admit that… I guess, just because of how I was raised, my social skills are not as refined, as some guys. Maybe I am underestimating that, as the reason for my failure, but at this point I am not too eager to spend any more of my time, energy or money at Lavalife, although I’m sure I will keep browsing anyway, just because it is a lot of fun.