Reviews of Lavalife

Like many others who have posted reviews I must question the legitimacy of LavaLife. I seriously feel like something is amiss and that there is a distinct possibility that many profiles are there just to get you to spend credits. I've been on LL for a little more than a year. In that time I've probably sent out about 100 or so smiles and have maybe only received about 20 in return. But that's not what bothers me. In my profile I make it clear that I'm willing to write to people who smile back, but that I would appreciate smiles from people who are actually interested. Then, in my messages (which are always polite and friendly) I always say "even if you're not interested, please write back just to say 'no thank you.' Can you guess how many no-thank-you's I've received? Zero. And can you guess how many of the 20 have actually conversed with me? Four. Plus, a disheartening number of the other 16 have remarkably disappeared two days after my messages, and I don't mean they just didn't write. I mean "This Profile is No Longer Available." Hmmm...

Now, before some of you "positive thinking" people start screaming that I must be ugly, rude, perverted, or uneducated let me give my case. I've shown my profile to all of my female friends and they all agree that they would respond to it before even seeing my picture. I've been told it's "well written, funny, sweet, and sincere." I can hear some of you now "well, they're your friends, they're probably lying to you." I would be inclined to agree with you if they hadn't told me that my previous attempt at a profile was lame. :) Needless to say I trust their opinion.

I'm wary of LL (to say the least), but I still haven't lost complete confidence as the four people that I did meet were very sweet and we had (or still have) some good times. Still, I wouldn't mind seeing an investigation of LL's business practices because there's nothing more frustrating than wasting 40 of your $15 credits on people who don't even exist.

Hey Markrover,

So glad you're out hunting white women, because we black women have enough to worry about than fearing an encounter with you. You're disgusting, bitter, and badly bruised. Someone clearly worked you over and so now you hate everyone, yourself included. Get some therapy, take some pills, channel those negative vibes into something a bit more productive (as someone suggested). Otherwise, I'm afraid my crystal ball sees a lonely road in your pitiful future.

Come to think of it, these are probably the most responses you've ever gotten online, isn't that right cupcake? Too bad it's from people who still would never want to know you.

A message for Markrover - Ottawa.....please Mark first get a life!!! You spent how much time on changing your profiles, posting different pictures....what a waste of energy, I could suggest other activities you could channel all this energy in. You are obviously lacking in values and self confidence. Learn to be humble and look deep within yourself and the women you meet. Obviously you need to learn to love the inner beauty of individuals.

LL - well been a user of it for about a year now. Yes if I get a smile and don't feel that there is a connection, I state that, why fake it!!??

The gentlemen I've met are all real nice people (except two, who were real liars and assholes).

At 48 years old men/women are flored, they don't give me a day older than 35=38.

So Mark, pick up some of those old movies then watch and learn.

I decided to try Lavalife Intimate Encounters a few weeks back. Oh my, what pain in the butt the CSR staff are. I was censored to death with content and pictures. I finally gave up after many rounds of editing and submitting. To make matters worse the CSR staff is so slow at reviewing and their error system for bad content is near null. If you want quickie type of meetings then Lavalife is not the place to go. They are all about the money with their pay per use messaging credit system. Keep looking on the web swinging friends as there is good sites out there that are pay per month with unlimited messaging and no censorship nazis.

You're right, men aren't the only ones that buy credits. In a traditional way, I just assumed that we would spend more on credits because we are the ones to usually initiate interest. I have received some initial emails from girls.... In my case when looking for women I found that (what appear to be mature ladies) some of them just put a professionally-done picture of themselves for no other intentions but to see what kind of reaction they get. That's at least how I look at it. They put up a typical one line in their ad that goes..."I'm a good looking girl, who is open-minded, likes to party and loves to travel".... They don't even bother to be original and that comes from some girls who are in their mid-late 20's. Lava should even enforce users to have the fields in "INTERESTS" to be filled out. But other than that, there's still a lot of good quality people on the site.

I just wanted to take a moment to respond to Greg. I think that he has a very good point, which is, if you are not interested in a person, do not smile at them! It's true that it's not fair for them to waste their credits on someone who has no interest in them. Of course, I also think that this situation is not limited to women doing it to men. I think that it could also happen the other way around. Also, I have to mention that I do not expect the man to have credits, just because he's a man. I think that's an unfair assuption.

I don't have a problem with Lava itself but rather with some of the people that are on it. Seems to me that some people (girls in this case)use it as a way to get their egos sprung up like they were in a night club. Here's a scenario. As a male the onus is on me to initiate contact. I send a smile and then I wait to see if I get one in return. If I do, a small letter follows and it goes something like this..."Hi, how's it going? Thanks for the smile. My name is Greg and I found you're profile to be interesting. I would like to know a little bit more about yourself and feel free to ask me what ever you would like to know".... Now, the problem I have is that about half of the time after I get a smile and send an introductory e-mail, I don't get anything in return. If I get a smile back I assume there's some interest. The point is that people don't respect the fact that we guys pay for the credits and would at least expect a reply, even if there's no interest.

I was never impressed with LavaLife, but never gave it much of a chance, really. More than anything, I wanted to respond to Markrover.

There is a lot of talk about "chemistry" and I can't speak to that, but I can say that, I find black men and white men equally attractive.

Within those parameters, I'm looking for a very specific type of man. I'm looking for someone with a super high IQ, with a goofy sense of humor (to match mine), and someone who shares my unique interests. Perhaps most importantly, I'm hoping to find a man who isn't intimidated by my intellect or my success. Believe it or not, that's a big deal in today's dating world.

But the former poster's comments made me very angry, insulting white women with his racist's comments; and merely because he was rejected a few times.

Has he run spellchecker on his profile? Is his profile 1/10th as bitter as his post here? Nothing is as big a turnoff as an angry profile.

Is his grammar sloppy? Is his picture unflattering? Does it show him with an unpleasant expression on his face?

I am *very* attracted to black men and have dated a few, but to catch and hold my interest (white or black), they have to be intelligent, educated, interesting, well-traveled and funny. Show me a man - black or white - with those attributes, and I'll show you a white women who swoons.

Color me colorblind

I've had a lot of good experiences on lavalife, and I have not yet come across one single person who was out for sex only. Maybe this is just good lucky, but I think it has something to do with the way Lavalife seperates the three sections of "relationships" "dating" and "intimate encounters".

Okay, so some people might get confused about the line between "dating" and "intimate encounters", but, I really do think that this seperate catagory thing helps somewhat. I've met 4 guys from the "relationships" section, and every one of them really was looking for a relationship. One sites like Yahoo it's harder to tell who's looking for what, since there are no seperate catagories.

Also, I really like how you don't have to pay to respond to people who've already written you.

I think it's IMPORTANT to keep in mind that we can't expect the site to be perfect. Okay, so there are some guys out there pretending they want relationships when really they want a one-night fling...but the same thing could easily happen with a guy you met at, say, a party or a friend's house or at work or at the store or wherever!! At least, that's what I think.

One last thing. As for that poor, apparently clueless, racist guy who has decided that all women are "bitches and assholes"....well, it's pretty obvious why he's having trouble meeting women, wouldn't you say??

Their IM feature works well, and you don't have to pay to reply to IMs or emails. They have a decent "smile" feature also. I do wish they had a way to turn off the IM function when you log on or an invisible log on setting. The site, even in their "Intimates" section, is overly prudish in their criteria of what they will accept for a headline.

The major drawbacks I have encountered are the large number of attached men who insist on emailing you even if you clearly state you are not interested in them. Many more than I've ever encountered on other dating sites! This site seems to be a mecca for rude attached men all over the globe! Also in the Dallas/Fort Worth area most of the men appear to be only interested in chatting and not meeting in real life.