Reviews of Lavalife

Tip: A good photo makes all the difference. I posted one of my best snapshots (of my being happy and in good spirits - it does translate into the photo) and, for the next four months, I never had to pay for credits, a lunch, dinner or a drink. I met all sorts of good men...and having fun doing so. I made some good friends too.

I was in the Dating category and, the downfall is that I do get asked for a one-night stand as if some men think all categories (Dating, Relationships, Intimate Encounters) are interchangeable. I am so happy to give them heck for it.

I am all too happy to give a guy superheck for having a Dating profile looking for a equally-comfy-in-jeans-as-in-a-ballgown girl, then he has an Intimate profile looking to swap fetishes, get spanked and have a hot oil masage. Guys, choose one category and stick to it. Ask out only the girls in the category you picked. You dont do it, you will rightfully get heck sooner or later.

One other downside is to the system itself: Instant Messaging. First, you cant turn it off. I would be answering mail or browsing only to get interrupted by an unwanted instant message. Second, it doesnt control the quantity you of IM's you get; try managing up to 15 guys who want to chat with you. Abominable. The way I cope is to put 'No Instant Messages' visibly on my opening line. That way, if someone does IM me, I'm not obligated to talk to him even though he spent credits to chat with me.

Linda signs on Lavalife a very popular dating website in Canada and the US. She gets bombarded with private messages and instant messages from guys from all over the world. She meets Gregg and likes his approach. They talk on the phone. While talking she sees Thomas and she didn’t like the way Gregg coughed on the phone. She ends the conversation and moves on….

Dating sites have become the big thing and in my eyes are destroying the sexes. There are so many. Lavalife, Match.com, adultfinder, yahoo just to name a few. Men see it as a flock of desperate women and sooner or later one will give… Women see it as a mass of men giving them attention times a hundred.

There is a reason why when you see a person sparks fly. Going on the web to find a mate can be a positive experience as long as you go about it properly. I have found people use dating websites as a form of alcohol to drown their loneliness and then become addicted to the attention and accessibility. Once you become hooked the chances of you finding happiness is close to nil. I will try to show you these bad habits and help you steer clear from them.

Why a dating site? You need to ask yourself why you are on Lavalife or any personal site like it in the first place. Don’t confuse yourself. If you want an intimate encounter the logic of “acting” like you want friendship will confused the people looking at your profiles. This also is important in reverse. You will not be happy getting bombarded about sex if that is not what you’re looking for. And please don’t be fake. If you’re on a web site that is notorious for “hucking up” don’t play like you don’t know. Ask yourself this; are there more holy people on this site than non holy? Would your mother approve of it? Would your boss?

Do you have any knowledge about marketing? Let’s get to the point, your trying to sell yourself period. Try to keep your profile to what you want. A sexual photo for a person who hates people constantly talking about sex is probably not the best thing to post. Post what you want to express to the pubic you are and what you want. And let’s make sense. Why be upset that people are contacting you if you’re on a dating site? Your marketing is working. Take it off if you don’t want the attention.

Control Being bombarded by men is very flattering. But keep in mind why you went to the website in the first place. Talking to everyone at once that you like will defeat the purpose of finding someone special if you do not give a person your full attention. Control also means self respect. Jumping from person to person really is lack of respect for you. You must have some type of standards. Use them.

Respect If you decided you’re looking for a man or a woman to date and you only want one. Once you meet a person on these sites you should STOP looking and start working on getting to know each other. What happens when you don’t do this is, “well he wore blue I don’t like blue…” you become extremely picky because you know you can get a new man/woman in 30 seconds. You will keep coming back and your natural skills of meeting people in public will diminish as your online persona will intensify. You can not take your online persona into a restaurant and have dinner. Unless they have webcams at the tables.

Photos The biggest fault of online dating is everything is wrapped around your photo. Yes you want someone cute/sexy but you are judging a book by its cover. For some reason good looking people are lacking in the good personality department. Not all but a good chunk never took time to work on their other attractive skills since everyone loves them just by looking at them. Keep this in mind. Also keep in mind when you get a response this could be the reason why you got it in the first place. Do they even care about what is behind the face? Would you want to participate in a group that works this way?

Lies My friend put me on here, I use it to keep in touch with my relatives and others are heard 50 times a day. If you lie to a person you just meet about nothing, imagine when something serious actually happens once you get to know them.

All in all I believe you should NOT go on dating websites to find a true love. When they started? Yes. Now? No. Maybe a site that has a good mix of the sexes and the topics are not so directed towards dating. www.Sprnch.com for example. Why? It’s not in your face type of website. You can get attached to them by getting to know more about them. Maybe you guys have something in common you would have never found out from a dating site.

Remember you’re online because you have some spare time. Use it wisely. Always try to do things to have a productive outcome.

I used to be an avid internet dater. In those days of surfing profiles, I noticed many users put their last name in their screenname. In this post I am going to tell you why using a last name is a dangerous mistake, on the part of the user who uses their last name.

What you've heard is true, some people just lead a very boring lifestyle. People with a boring life generally have trouble in the world of romance. As you know, boring people troll the internet looking for romance, which draws them to internet dating sites. It is on these dating sites where boring people can become dangerous to other users.

Infactuation is a common trend amongst the desperate romantic who exists on the internet. What happens is these people see a seemingly common profile they like. They will latch on to it because they feel a connection to that person. Over time, the deperate romantic will become more interested in the targeted user. It's at this point, the desperate romantic will start using the free internet tools to find out more about the targeted users lifestyle.

Thanks to the internet we can find a lot of information on a specific person. The ring of Information websites is endless on the net. There are high school reunion websites to find out where someone went to high school. White pages is tabbed on every major website, this is a good place to find a phone number and match someone's last name to their first name. Also, there are public record websites on every corner of the internet, these sites will match someones name to their age for free. Finally, Google can find any missed bits of information on someone. Finding someone's contact information on the internet is free, easy, and quick.

Fortunately, there are steps that can be taken to prevent being the apple of a unwanted eye.

* The very first step is to not use you last name in your screenname. You shouldn't even use a variation between your last name and another word. You're going to have to create a unique screenname. So be creative!

* Don't use any nouns! Pronouns are the King of the deck! You don't need to list the college or high school you attended. You should never use a noun stating which company employs you. If you play sports don't list your respected team. This means don't use a picture of yourself in uniform, a practice picture will suffice in your profile. The same should go for someone who has all their profile pics taken at the same location.

* Use caution when stating local destinations of your interest. Someone from the net could follow you to a public spot. No one likes having a stalker problem.

* Don't allow youself to be fooled because you have low self esteem. As I mentioned above, there could be something about you that someone likes. On the internet, you're just as much of a target as Model Mary.

* Take breaks from internet dating after your subscription expires. This will give your fan time to forget about you and move on to the next profile. Also, this cures internet dating burnout.

* Carefully read and organize your emails. If you've made contact with a fan he/she won't be able to wait with the reply back to you. Look for strange comments within your received emails like, " You haven't logged in for 3 weeks.".

* Don't give anyone any contact information, untill you've had time to make a judgement on them...

* Know what kind of person you're trying to avoid. Generally, a desperate romantic has a intelligence quota of 120 or better. So, they are pretty good at putting two and two together to form one. Typically, these people have lower self esteem.

Most of the time these people won't bother to contact you but it's still creppy to know someone could find you. The truth is, this wouldn't be a problem if people could be more positive and feel better about themselves.

Update. Tammy did email my alter ego and I emailed her back. Here is the dialogue:

Tammy-"so...what happened?"

Major Tom-"I did not meet you because you are a gold digger. You only want to date me because I am good looking and successful. I have had friends on this site, some of whom you met and some who you just deleted their mail. They told me you were are golddigger but I wanted to give you a chance and find out for myself. What I found out was the truth that you are a superficial person. I didn't want to believe my friends about Kelowna women but they were right.

Tammy-"Wow...you figured me out. I am a gold digger, and I only look at superficial things in life to help me become happier. THATS RICH CONSIDERING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. You obviously had some bad experiences from women and you have lumped me in their catagory.

You know nothing of who I am, or of the character I have. You have no right to judge me the way you have - and I know nothing of your so called friends. What you did was immature and really dumb.

You missed out on meeting someone EXACTLY OPPOSITE of who THOUGHT youwere meeting. You are clearly not who you say you are.

You are not worth my time."

So this whole adventure was for the benefit of all of us guys who never really get a hobest chance with a woman because she is chasing after the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, only to find out when she is 40, that there is not pot of gold.

Online dating doesn't work for us attractive but normal looking guys. If you aren't Brad Pitt or Antanio Banderas, then don't waste your time. You'll have a beter chance meeting women just doing everyday recreational things. And furthermore most women in Kelowna, B.C. Canada are golddigging superficial women.

Too bad, really.

Over and Out, Major Tom

I hate having to use a new email address everytime I post, oh welL. Now onto the update:

*See the second and thrid post below this one for the background to this saga*

Well according to a friend of mine, who works at the Restaraunt, Tammy did come in dressed up and actually looking quite good(hard to tell from her picture on this site). She ended up getting a table and waiting for about 45 minutes. Sh did end up asking one of the waiters if she has seen a guy fitting this Model's description. He said no. She paid for her drink and walked out looking pissed off.

Tammy never did email my alter ego asking what happened, so I will leave her be. Maybe this will be a lesson to her not to be such a golddigging superficial wench. Also it will prove to her that if it sounds too good to be true, most likely it is.

Had she emailed my alter-ego back with an angry email, then she would have been told that she is not up to the caliber in looks that I am used to.

Am I immature for doing this. Yes. But again, I did this not only to teach her a life lesson, but for me and all the below average, average, and even good-looking guys that get screwed around by women because we are actually good guys.

Johnathan(I think that is your name), you are my hero and I thank you for your great idea. You deserve a beer and a handshake!!

Major Tom

Major Tom, you have some really MAJOR issues with women. Since when is it YOUR job to teach women lessons?????

BTW I agree, this woman Tammy sounds shallow, actually sounds like some men I've talked to........ anyone can play that game, on or offline, and it doesn't take a genius to pull it off. Glad you feel so good about yourself though, maybe dating sites are just not for everyone (but I'm sure you've thought of that too:))

Rejection sucks for anyone, but I would hope most of us are adult enough to deal with it and move on. Life is too short to worry about teaching people lessons who won't get the message, now or ever. Yeah, I could think of a bigger waste of time, like watching paint dry.:)

Gather around my fellow disheartened men. Some of us are below average, some of us are average, and some of us are good looking, yet we are all made to feel like the Elephant Man when sending out smiles, emails or whatever to the women that frequesnt these sites. I have an interesting test I am doing to really illustrate the kind of women who joind these sites. No they aren't like us. Why:

Men join dating sites because we hate the stress of the bar scene and figured online dating would be a more straight forward way to meet women.

Women join the dating services because either they are really too hideous or too fat to get date OR they are looking for to proverbial rich, goodlooking, successful modelisque businessman/doctor/lawyer/etc.

So I wanted to do a test that would really prove this.

I created two profiles. One profile is both accurately depicts who I am as a person with various recent pictures so women can see what I look like and am like.

The other profile is fake. This profile is the stereotypical unrealistic rich businessman who is a world traveller and a model to boot(thanks to a model site I found and took a pic off of).

I emailed a woman who would be considered pretty, average body(not fat,not thin), and an average success for her age(32 I think). I contacted her with my real profile first and sent her a really well thought out email. Keep in mind she is as good looking a woman as I am a guy. She is also as successful in a career as I am, so pretty even match, right??? Nope, not in her eyes. She can't even be bother to email me back saying you sound nice but I am not interested. No she just deletes my email(I have a very nifty computer program that gives me this info).

So I email her with the fake profile. She immediately responds with an email with a high amount of interest. I can tell she can't wait to meet this model businessman. Here are the transsripts of her emails to MR. Model so far:

Cont next post!!!

On a technical level, I find Lavalife to be disappointing. The site freezes frequently, forcing me to log on twice. This has happened on multiple computers now, convincing me that it is not a problem with my computer.

I'd be interested in learning who else has experienced this.

like any wheres else on the Internet, Lavalife has it's idiots. I got through the first page of reviews basically running down the fake women, well, in all fairness, it's not easy for us to meet men either. This is NOT necessarily the fault of the people at Lavalife, it's the idiots who like to pull crap like videotaping women in intimate positions (not me fortunately UGH), block you as soon as you show them your picture, like DUH, we can make another account and see if that profile is still active. I sure wonder how men could think women were that stupid and have no feelings to hurt, but I guess it's no different than offline, disrespecting the opposite sex seems to be all too common. HHMMMM hint here, if a woman is over 40, likely she doesn't look like she's 20, now did that make sense or what??? lol

Like any other dating site, it's best to use COMMON SENSE, and YAH, MANNERS help too. Men and women are equally guilty in playing games, and I can't understand why some really gets such a kick out of hurting someone they don't know.

I will be honest I belive the site is strictly for sex. The common line is "Good luck with your search" Which clearly shows this is only for "Getting lucky" Best if you just want to get laid... Besides that dont bother. The amount of unattractive men there is staggering.

More on this (too lazy) is here http://www.sprnch.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6245

Just being honest.