Reviews of eHarmony

I am friends with Benjamin, lello, and just sent you pictures of him and his beautiful girlfriend. Obviously he is not interested. Maybe you should try meeting people like in Boston, perhaps?

Eharmony sucks by the way. Their "matching system" is a joke. I haven't met one person who said their matches were on the money. They don't take into account physical attraction at all. They can dance around it with bs all they can, but the fact is that chemistry and attractions DOES play a role in relationships. Match.com is much, much better. So alot of their profiles may be fake, but at least I get to choose who I want to communicate with to the few that are real.

Of course my email address is valid! I don't believe that you are the Benjamin I had in mind!!! The benjamin i had in mind is from san francisco, not tiburon. In addition, the benjamin I want to hear from posted on 12/18/11.

Looking for Benjamin from San Francisco.

I just read your review and am surprised at how similar your background is to mine. I think it would be fun to talk. You can reach me at boston.lello@gmail.com

Lello from Boston,

If you are going to provide an e-mail address, it should be one that is a valid one.. I've met plenty of women, so no thanks anyway.

Eharmony sucks, but match.com is awesome, and I am a handsome guy so I've met plenty of women in the Financial district. I connected with 11 different women of my choosing on match, but got a bunch of crap on Eharmony before I quit it in one month's time.

Lady prof,

Seriously with the novel? This is supposed to be a review for other people, no one wants to read a novel.

Ok, you don't need to spend 3 days reading LadyProf's rant to know that Eharmony stinks (you live in San Fran. yes there are many gay men who live there, newsflash). You don't get to choose who to communicate with, and their gimmicky scientific matching system is highly ineffective for 99% of users. In fact, I'm seriously dating a very cute girl who I happened to meet OFF-LINE but was on Eharmony living in the same city at the same time as me! Uh, why was I sent a bunch of heffers when I am 6 foot 2 185 pounds? Why wasn't I sent Stephanie as a match, Dr. Neil Schmo, you nitwit? Also, a big thing is you don't know if your matches are active, paying members because they don't tell you when a profile has last used the site. So in theory and reality they could be sending you 95 matches out of 100 who are not active. Minus 10 stars for totally screwing the consumer.

Don't waste your money.. They only got me for 55 bucks.

Heather from California/Arizona,

Your comments sound completely contrived. Obviously, you are an employee of Eharmony. I've met one couple out of 300 that met someone on Eharmony. Nice people, but both are not aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I have tried match.com and Eharmony, but I don't see how anyone could possibly like Eharmony, unless they are an employee. As opposed to match.com, there's nothing intuitive, user friendly, or reputable about the company. Match.com lists activity dates of their profiles, so you aren't wasting your time e-mailing people who have been inactive for 6 months. Eharmony does not. SHADY.

They sent me inactive profiles. I know this because 98% of the profiles I closed out did not close on their end. If you are a paying member and actively looking to meet someone, you don't NOT close matches out if they have already indicated they are not interested in you. Why? There is no chance you could ever communicate with them if they closed on you. It would be up to the closer to have a change of heart and decide to re-open the match they already closed.

Perhaps my experience will put to rest the scam vs. real thing argument.

I joined E-Harmony the summer of 2010. It was a year since a long-term (7 yrs.) relationship had ended; I had just moved & was embarking on a new life for myself/was ready to get back to dating. I’m a college professor & don’t meet many people at work (most are older than I & dipping into the student pool is frowned upon LOL) plus, I’m very busy in that career, so I don’t get out much – my social life tends to be with colleagues & extra-curricular activities of serving on committees or faculty advisor for student programs.

I was mostly curious & just giving myself the kick in the pants I needed to get back into the dating scene & really didn’t intend to sign-up w/E-Harmony – didn’t know about this review website (hindsight/lesson learned!). I did the long questions, & built a thorough profile, added lots of photos, etc., but hadn’t paid any $$ when I first started getting lots of matches. Of course, I know now that thinly built profiles are fakes & that E-Harmony employees are the ones who initially contact a person, disguised as a match, requesting communication. And, of course, if you haven’t paid, you can’t see either the photo of the person making the request, nor reply, so I admit I was suckered into that. I signed up for a 3-month membership & replied to the gentleman by answering his 1st 3 questions. I never got a reply and, of course, that’s how I now know it was that “get the person to join” scam, thanks to the info here in this review forum (good to know I’m not a total dufus for being duped like that, since there are many more of you who’ve been tricked into doing the same).

Once I was a full member, I began contacting matches, not initially knowing that thin profiles are fakes. I never received any replies either because they were fakes or old profiles of people who’s memberships expired but E-Harmony doesn’t expunge their profile; its left there to make it look like there are lot’s of people to match together. Why do I think that? Well, luckily, I didn’t have the problem some of you had when it came to the end of my membership. By then, I had found this forum & learned what needed to be done to ensure I didn’t get “auto-renewed/charged again” & opted out, closing my membership 3 days before it was set to expire. That works, by the way. The membership lapsed & I’ve never been charged.

HOWEVER, E-Harmony did not delete my profile. How do it know? Well, even though I was no longer paying, the site kept sending me matches. After reading more in this review forum, I took some folks’ advice & went in & deleted all my photos. I even revised my profile to say, “I’m no longer a member. Please don’t contact me.” Unfortunately, that’s all I could do to ensure both that my picture wasn’t out there somewhere & that some, poor, unsuspecting guy matched to me didn’t think I was a real match.

Here’s the kicker: A year-and-a-half later, I still get the odd message in the e-mail linked to my old account that I’ve been matched to someone, even though I’m not being auto-billed/I’m not a member. It really picked up during the holiday season – it would appear the E-Harmony targets people during the time of year when people tend to feel lonely/desperate.

Bottom line is that E-Harmony is both a scam & is filled with not very desirable people. I don’t say that to offend anyone here. I speak from experience: In October of 2010, right after I let my membership expire, my ex got in contact with me. You see, 4 months earlier, when I moved, I discovered some things of his & asked him then to come get them. He strung me along & being too nice to toss them out, took the items with me, until finally, the two of us got together to do the exchange. Here’s where I agree with something Heather of California/Arizona says about undesirable men trolling for baby-making factories.

I broke with my ex because of his pressure on me to have a baby (but not get married – RED FLAG). He was in college himself (at age 40) due to not having gotten his life together before then, & I felt we weren’t financially stable enough for a family w/him not working/being a student. He gave me an ultimatum & I called him on it, so he moved out of my house. He couldn’t afford to live anywhere better than a trailer in a trailer park & was still living there when he came to get his stuff from me during that Oct. 2010 meeting. He informed me, at that meeting, that he’d just gotten married. He said he’d met the woman on E-Harmony 2 months earlier & said [quoted verbatim]: “she wouldn’t have kids unless they were married so I married her.”

WTF!!!!

This woman married a guy who had no job & lived in a trailer after they’d only known each other 2 months/met on E-Harmony.

I’m sorry if I offend anyone, but a woman who does that HAS to be desperate. To CHOOSE to live in a trailer. To CHOOSE to marry someone w/out a job/support them by working at the WalMart next to the trailer park . . . That my friends, is reason enough to eschew this website.

Now, please don’t write disparaging remarks about the fact that I spent 7 yrs. w/the guy – I kick myself enough for that, trust me (although, I am the one who encouraged him to go back to school & get an education so he wouldn’t feel so bad about himself & to shut him up from the complaining he did about the job he had & the difference in our education levels). He was an artist & I encouraged him in that endeavor & love is blind & he was nice in those days. So . . .

Besides, the point of this post is to clarify that E-Harmony is ½ scam & ½ filled with desperate, undesirable people. I wised up, took the time I was spending on-line & used it to volunteer @ the local SPCA. I walked dogs & met guys both at the shelter & in the dog parks. Result: I have been seriously dating a good guy, so there’s hope post E-Harmony. Good luck every one.

***MUST READ********

i honestly think eharmony is a dating site that has a conspiracy
hidden in its agenda.my take is that aliens that landed here thousands of years ago now need to get urgently matched up and harmonised for their sake. as a result this site was created.there are secret filters that allow the aliens and the non aliens to be filtered so that the aliens match up and the non aliens do not. sometimes also, or maybe often, aliens will innocently get matched up with non-aliens.this is an abduction. the reason is that the aliens are near a near-perfect stage of their evolution, so they count. the others do not. the non-aliens who are disgruntled, unhappy etc with the sevice end up reacting, compalining...and this energy is used by the aliens too to reach their intended goals.
My goal is to find something more honest then that.

I have been using Eharmony for a dating site for many years. Now that might sound weird, if your main goal is marriage, but mine is to find quality, educated, and successful men. Through my own finishing of graduate school and heavy work week Eharmony has been a great tool for me for find men that I might not normally find going to a club or bar. I am not a serial dater and seriously date/sleep with a man in a committed relationship. I have closed 1000's of profiles and had maybe 10 quality first dates, with complete gentlemen. I give the site 1 less star because I have found that I get matched with a lot of men that are not sure about there sexuality. In this, they are very successful and just looking for a pretty wife. These men, it is obvious, are looking for a baby machine, and I am just not interested in living my life in a loveless and meaningless relationship. I think if Eharmony catered to LGBT then this wouldn't be such a problem. Also, Eharmony is expensive, you aren't going to find your Craigslist clientele on their site or be harassed for sex like some other sites, too much work goes into finding and talking to a match. Online dating has it's pluses and minuses but Eharmony is definitely one of the best.

Quality over quantity will always get you more in the long run.

Eharmony is a bonafide SCAM, and no I am not a disgruntled guy who can't get dates: Check my review of match.com.

The worst part about Eharmony is their "matching". You can have 5 monkeys get together and come up with something and it would probably be more accurate. I understand that other things come into play besides simple physical attraction, however no one can deny that physical chemistry DOES play a part in a relationship. However large or small, it plays a role. LOL, the matches I was getting were nowhere close. Not even the least bit. I'm foot 6 foot 1 185 pounds, so why am I getting matches who are 5 foot 2 and seemingly 185? Even worse, you can't actually go and seek out those you would have a physical connection with, because you are stuck with their matching, which basically works for less than 1% of users. At least what I can tell from the reviewers here.

Second scam is sending you inactive members. At least on match.com you know when someone has been active, so obviously you aren't going to send out an e-mail to someone who has been inactive for 8 months. That's a REALLY SHADY part of the site. Scam.