Match.com is about as infuriating and frustrating as any other online dating site, but it's not necessarily the fault of the site itself. It's otherwise well organized and fairly easy to navigate (it also offers a host of extras for a few extra bucks a month that aren't really worth it, in my opinion), but the trouble is simply this: it's the people that are on here that really make you disillusioned to the whole online dating thing. I am a member of match.com currently (as I have been in the past with both this site and eharmony.com) and it's the same problem now as it was a few years ago - most people on this site aren't that serious about meeting anyone. Sure, everyone talks a great game, but it's mostly a crapshoot. In my experience, about 85% of your emails, winks or whatever will go unanswered (winks are particularly useless because it says to that person: "hey, I think I like you, but I'm not going to bother writing an email because I'm really unwilling to invest that kind of time.") Occassionally, you do get a response and it gets you excited, but even those can end just as suddenly as they started. If you're particularly lucky, you'll even meet a few of your connections and, from there, it's up to you if you're willing to pursue it, but never ever go into it thinking it's going to be fireworks and flowers (because it often isn't - what people claim to be online can differ greatly from what they actually are.)

Here's the basic reason why online dating has such a low success rate: people join the site because of its relative anonymity and it's safe and fun to email people from home (or work, school or wherever you happen to be). However, once you reach the point that it won't be anonymous for long, most people tend to jump ship (which is why your emails are suddenly unanswered.) Believe me, emails will only let you get to know a person so far - sooner or later, you have to actually converse with them in person or over the phone. This is the point where most connections fall apart because now you find out if your connection is really serious about meeting someone or if it's just a lot of talk. Here's a surprise: both men AND women are guilty of this on this site. Most women feel as though the men on here are just looking for one night stands, most men feel as though the women on here are just teasing - the fact of the matter is, they're both right.

In my experience on this site, most profiles read about the same (some are almost oddly identical to each other... fellas, have you ever heard more women claim they're "down to earth", "easy going", "independent but love to cuddle" and so on and so forth? Now, maybe this is true of that particular person, but when every woman says it... as a male, you start to think twice.) Also, every woman loves to travel (I've heard tell from women who joined this site that match.com really pushes the issue when they fill out their profile, but alas, I have no idea if this is 100% true. If it is true, then I suppose match.com is trying to subtly intimate to the males out there that this woman would love to travel over 100 miles to meet you.) If I happen to find a well-written profile or someone who just strikes my fancy, I'll email them. I try to keep it short, funny, original and hopefully interesting enough for them to write back, but ultimately, it's just blind luck if they email back or not. Usually, a few emails will go back and forth and, if they don't just disappear, a date will be set up. Again, in my experience, these dates are completely unpredictable. I went on one with a woman who I had been emailing back and forth with for a week or two - we got together and spent a few hours just talking, eating dinner and chit-chatting. Things went pretty well (or so I thought) and I walked her back to her car. She gave me not one, but two, kisses and when I went to give her my number, she gave me hers instead. Seemed like a successful date, right? Well, one unanswered phone call and two unanswered emails later confirmed that all was not as I thought and that was the end of that. So, why spend several hours with me if there's no chemistry, why kiss me if everything's horrible and why give me your number if you're not planning on ever talking to me again (thankfully, it wasn't a rejection hotline number...)? This experience, of course, confused me and I still don't have any answers. The best I can figure is that maybe I was only one of many matches she had and perhaps she found that certain magic with someone else and maybe I was just a back-up plan. Your guess is as good as mine.

In the end, here's the breakdown: people are not their online profiles, most people aren't serious about meeting other people and most people change their minds as often as they change clothes. The internet just makes it easier to do all this on a schedule that's convenient for you. Still, there's that 1% out there who do have a positive experience and, honestly, my hat is off to you. I don't know how the hell you did it. Hopefully, one day, I will join you...