What is "flexible matching"
anyway? I thought eHarmony did "scientific" matching with these proven 29 dimensions of compatibility. Now they throw in "flexible matching" for those items in your profile that are not "must haves"
or that aren't most important to you. Just because they are not most
important doesn't mean they aren"t important at all. I put down as
an age range 5 years younger than me and 5 years older, thinking that
a 10 year span would be flexible and that it would be close enough that the men in that age group would have similar life experiences, be
near the same point in life as I, and have grown up in the same time
period etc. One match was 16 years older, nearer my father's age and
so closer to my father's generation. I also listed my occupation as
something in the medical field and the salary to match. One match was a doctor. Any match made "scientifically" would know that my
occupation is at the bottom of the totem pole from a doctor and so
we are at opposite ends to start with. No fear, he had closed me
for not having a picture before I ever even had a chance to read
any of my matches. Then I put the distance I was willing to look for
a match as 60 miles, 30 miles seeming too short and since they didn't
have a 50 mile selection, 60 miles seems like a reasonable distance that either of us can travel in about an hour. Two of my matches were from out of state, I didn't try looking up the locations on a map
but if it's 60 miles as the crow flies, then it's just barely 60 miles.
Also I listed that I like to take walks and to go hiking. Some of the
matches were very athletic, work out, go running etc. I am glad I didn't include that I also like to swim (on occasion) because then I
would have been matched with an Olympic swimmer! I said I was a
Christian and religious, so one match was a minister and another a
seminary student. I would probably consider all of these matches if
I could communicate with them freely and find out what they expect
in a mate and what they are really looking for and get to know them
but that's not possible if you don't pay for their subscription.
I am trying to be fair to eHarmony and realize they are a buisness and like all buisnesses they are there to make money. So I think they
need to be up front with thier ads, that it works for a small group of
people. They need to stick to the criteria that people request in their
profiles, even if that narrows the selection, but isn't that what this is
all about, narrowing the selection? I have been trying to think of what would make me agree to be a paying memeber and I think they
need to lower the price substantially. One site that was "pro eHarmony" said that the extreme high price was a guarantee that people were serious and that it was higher quality than the other dating sites. You don't need to pay a high price for quality. I also
think the "subscription" needs to be a month by month thing, not a
choice of 1, 3, 6 months or a year. Each month it should be up to you
if you want to buy another month of service. Maybe they could offer
a money back guarantee that if you stick with it for 6 months or more and aren't happy then they will refund your money, after all they have had the money for 6 months in their investments and didn't provide the service they said they would. It amounts to trust in the
site itself as well as the matches they send your way.
As for Brad and Tom and John and any others out there in the 60
miles, you are out there somewhere and I am there somewhere, if
we are meant to meet and get to know each other then there will be
a way.