I should've known better when I saw the beautiful people on the eHarmony TV ads (why they needed help finding a partner, I'll never know). When you search for new matches, eHarmony emphasizes not making a snap judgment based on the person's looks, but like any other dating venue, if you are just an average person, particularly an average woman, you don't stand a chance. Every time I started communicating with someone who initiated contact & seemed nice, he would ask to see my photo, and then I'd never hear from him again or I'd get the inevitable "closed" message, usually the generic "I want to pursue other matches" or "I think the physical distance between us is too great". Gee, I wasn't too far away when they enthusiastically requested to see my photo, and at that point they could already see where I live. My photo was nice, I'm a normal, cute person, but my self-esteem has taken a nosedive after at least 10 people immediately stopped writing after seeing my photo. The other thing is, everyone knows that intimacy is the icing on the cake, but some of the "must-haves" choices are inappropriate: I don't want to answer questions about whether I discuss "my innermost desires and needs" with my partner -- way too personal when you're just starting to share info. I've now given up on dating & resigned myself to being alone. I feel horrible about myself. Thanks, eHarmony! :p