I tried eharmony a year ago. I filled out the profile questionaire. I am a pretty open minded woman, and consider some of my desires to be a little out of the norm. In my real life, I meet some very creative, outgoing people and it's not like there's a problem with meeting someone. I am a performer so I have no problem talking or being in front of others.

The first try - most of the matches closed the match for the reason of "Other" which says absolutely nothing to me. I didn't know if the guys thought I was fat, or if they just didn't like what I said. This should not be an option if you're going to close a match. I'd rather see "I'm not physically attracted based on the picture" or something to the like. That would probably inspire me to take a better pic and put it up on the site. I mean, actually HELP me do my own market research and make the appropriate changes. It just feeds into insecurity...and since I don't have very much insecurity in the first place...it was really unnecessary.

Of the ones that didn't close for a myriad of generic reasons, only two actually paid for the service and could actually respond to questions. Of those two, one closed as he found another relationship. The other was matched with me using what's called "flexible matching", which means they relax some of the criteria to get someone to match with me. Basically, I was so hard to match that they had to break their own rules to match me with SOMEBODY - so as not to risk losing me due to wasting my money.

I later found out, after going through the tedious back and forth process of filling in multiple choice questions and essay questions that they had "matched" me with what would turn out later to be an alcoholic, sex-addict with a boot fetish who was still married (but claimed to be separated). He was overweight but wanted a model who had a love of leather thigh high boots. He obsessed about it over our conversations. And, since he was the only one to respond, I thought "eharmony must see something here" so I gave it a shot.

Great, I could have found this on adult friend finder...and maybe even someone more fit and healthy.

We had a date. It degenerated to his sexual needs...which centered around his fetishes, not around how he wants to connect with someone else. He was very selfish sounding and I thought to myself "Is this what eharmony thinks I am? Selfish?"

But upon further examination, I realized it was because of this "flexible matching". They let in someone I would have avoided on my own. And given the fact that one is spending $50 a month to join, I made sure to keep in touch with ANY connection that responded. Bad choice.

I could have done better on craigslist.

I joined again last month, but have decided not to pay until I get at least 20 matches to start with. And I see the catch. The folks that don't pay get matched with others that don't pay. You can't see any pics, you can't really respond or send questions. So you're just sitting there thinking "should I pay now?" And when you do, be prepared to receive a ton of "closed" communications based on folks who don't actually want your "type" .

Basically, eharmony is a tad bit better than the bar scene, but not much. Folks are still just as shallow there, and judge books by covers regardless of the personality "matching" . So don't believe the hype.

You'll still have to weed out the bad seeds!