**** Stars? It's crazy I know. Off and on for a few months. Many of what I have read made me sad. It's highly discomforting that so many people are alone, lonely, single, divorced; b they put such a restriction on their dating. I mean, when you meet someone in real life you do not automatically ask if they have kids or if they have been divorced. You go from the imediate attraction then you negotiate with yourself if this person is worth dating. I had too many words so I am cutting it short

Yes, there are flakes on this site. This is why I think people should take a long look at themselves before entering the on-line dating scene. People take match literally about finding "the one". The approach of the individual is flawed. People are nervous and scared to take that step to real life interaction, I know I was. With all the stigma attatched to on-line dating I was very trepidacious about the whole experience. But I wanted to try something new, I was never a dater and longed for a platform where I COULD have some control over individuals I let into my life. The experience: So my first contact9by phone). Let me just say that we chatted by email a few times, he winked at me, I was flattered, because unlike many of you that got hundreds, I did not. With all the winks I sent I NEVER recieved a response, oh wait, actually I did but the person kept responding with very short one line/one word phrases, not even full sentences, I politely wished him good luck on his search and moved on. That felt empowering. In real life if he was laim I probaby would be too shy to walk away. Any now back to the story, this person promised to call me in a few days to confirm a meeting and he NEVER did. I was bothered by it but o.k. at the same time, it did not make me think ALL were bad. I was actually glad anyway, in my eyes he was cute but not my typical type. Also let me just say that through this site I have finally focused on what my "type" is. For someone like me, 5 '10' Athletic build, I have Angela Basset arms, and damn proud of it. I love to work out and do athletic things and did not realize till match that this part of my life is important and want someone that had the same ideal. I state my needs very clearly in my profile, I think this is perhaps why I did not get 200 winks a week :-). No games not "playas" But I did not care about quantity, quality was my goal. The second person that I responded to was VERY attractive, I actually paused and wondered why the hell he was winking at me. I wondered why he was winking at some skinny blonde with a way to large boob job from Scottsdale. He made me feel more comfortable stating that he had dated a black woman before and actually prefered women of color. After I got past the hot factor I realized that we had a lot in common, down to our groomng habbits, which I found was a red flag to begin with. We FINALLY met and it was great fun, he was easy to talk to, made me laugh out loud and he appeared sweet. The first date was so much fun, but after that it got straaange. He immediately spoke of marriage, it scared the you know what out of me, I would only laugh at him, thiking he was joking. We met at his house on the second date, I felt a little hesitant about this but when I got there I felt fine so I stayed. I ended up staying over, not sex, we kissed good night, but that was it. We talked for most of the night, which distorted the whole picture of what we were to each other, at least on my end. After the second night he would text me little notes and such I thought that was cute but as time went by I became sick of the notes, I would respond back but then would take FOREVER to respond back. I found this unsettling and started to sence the "game" I made the mistake of showing up late one night and he was PISSED, I was busy and he send some very angry texts, when I got there was in a huff about me being late, he was so angry he started interogating my about still being on match and what I wanted, (insecure) and he proposed marriage to me. WEIRD It ended with me being very annoyed at his childisness and the fact that he only wanted to communicate in text, and was flaky about us hanging out, not regard for my needs or feelings. It was about a week before his birthday when I said that he was mediocre in how he treated me and I needed to see other people to stay grounded; after our battle of the angry texts, he texts me again at 2 in the morning, saying he could not sleep and I should come over; I had turned my phone off and only saw it late the next day. I told him clearly he did not mean that for me, he never responded, on his birthday I send him a happy birthday text, I felt bad, I do not know why. But I went on match and got rid of his profile. Good riddance.

After all that I do not blame the poor guy, he is just some guy that (a) wants to get laid and (b) propbably lonely. I decided not to blame match for the failure. After all did I really think that he could be my prince charming and dream come truee. Nah. So I decided to take a long hard look at myself and I realized that all the red flags this guy put up I ignored because I wanted a fairy tale. So I went back on match with one goal, just have fun. I would reach out to men I found interesting, and not take it to heart if they did not respond.. Let me just say that I am one of the ones that do respond, good bad or indifferent I send a kind note. People hat feeling ignored. I decided that if I met anyone I would take it slow and follow my heart. Be specific about what I wanted. I would be realistic and honest with myself as well. So far it has worked....I met a great man we have been seeing each other for about a month. We have agreed to take it easy, establish a friendship first then move into something romantic if those feelings are there. I do not know if he is the one, but thus far I know I have gained a great friend.