I've been on eHarmony three months now and have received 362 matches. That's a pile, and allow me to whine that even with that many, I still get frustrated in those times when a couple of days go by and I don't get any new ones. On the other hand, I live in NW Washington State and they send me matches from Colorado, Utah, California, New Mexico and Texas on a regular basis. I mean, I suppose if God spoke up and said 'hey, this chick in Houston is your actual soulmate, you should check her out' then I probably would, but in real life how motivated am I to date someone a thousand miles away? Not very. I don't happen to have an airplane. Then again I just had a gal in the San Francisco area 'initiate communication' this week so I guess not everyone feels that way. And really, it's more fun to get some matches from outside my area than get no matches at all. Personally I realized in the first month or so that I'd have to be willing to cast a wider net than I first imagined, and now I'm more than willing to drive a couple of hundred miles for a promising woman - screw gas prices. Success-wise, I'm mid-40s, shorter (5'8") but reasonably attractive, have a decent job, and I haven't been terribly disappointed so far. I've only had one date but overall I've been impressed with the quality of women on the site. They're not all models by any stretch, but in the age range I'm interested in (~38 to ~48) the vast majority appear to be sincere. I've initiated conversation with ten women and had three respond favorably, two close me and the rest ignore me. About ten have initiated with me, I've responded favorably to two and closed the rest (hate to leave 'em hanging). Not great out of 350+ matches, but it's better than I'd do without eHarmony. It's at least a hell of a lot more efficient than what I'd have to do to meet that many single women offline. And it's enough to give me hope that I might actually meet Miss Right out there one of these days. Definitely can be brutal on the self-esteem when you get a string of rejections, in fact it's easy to get gun-shy on initiating with anyone at times. I have no doubt that online dating is a real bummer of an experience for a lot of people.

I try not to hold it against women when they reject me because we all want what we want, and I'm no exception. I'm leery of matches that don't post photos, because I dread having to close a match where the relationship has progressed to some degree, only to find the physical attractiveness just isn't there. That's awkward as hell. I know it seems shallow to put a lot of value on looks, but I was married for a lot of years to a woman that didn't appeal to me sexually, and it sucked to have that deficiency in our relationship and it made for a crappy marriage. Anyway, I haven't tried any other dating sites but eHarmony has been okay for me. I didn't have any great expectations going in, so that helps. I'm surprised how many people whimper about the cost. ~$30 a month?? BFD - how many times do blow thirty bucks on something else that you already know is worthless? Well, good luck everyone.