I have been a member since 2003, on and off. I'm one of those 40+ women who got discouraged and left. When I signed up for a new three-month stint the other day, I found out that there were a couple of matches that had been closed because I didn't respond. Reading the reviews on this site it seems that eHarmony creates a lot of anger and disappointment. My question: what did you expect? It's a private company offering a generic service to faceless individuals for a fee. Most of the successful couples they show could be on "Seinfeld" or the soap operas of today. We're living in a culture of illusion and fantasy, I agree. Despite this, some people seem pretty happy with what they get if they keep their expectations in check. I'm a feminist who has no animals (yes we want to date too) and am trying to keep an open mind this time. eHarmony won't be my only strategy for finding men to date, but why not try it? I wish members had more control, but then again, I kind of like their screening process. Perhaps closer to the end of my three months, I'll feel differently, but I'm actually surprised they found a match already.