I, like others here, signed up for a year's worth of eHarmony service. And, like others here, have nothing good to say about this site at all. So far I have gone out on three "dates." None of the people I was matched with really had anything in common with me, but we actually got to the meetup stage, so I figured what the hell, this is what I was paying for, after all.

The first date, I treated the girl to dinner. She wasn't fat, she wasn't skinny, she was just average in weight. She was weird. Took her to a nice place and she ordered a side salad and a water and took about three bites of the salad. Oooook. The rest of the night we spent chatting. I should say *I* spent chatting, as she just mainly sat there and responded here and there but wasn't much of a conversationalist. As the night wore on, however, she was getting decidedly horny. I'm not one to get busy with someone on the first date, and the preceding hours had left me with an overall negatice impression, that I didn't play to her advances. We planned on going out again, but I phoned her and said we'd probably be better off not doing that.

Second date was with a woman just six years older than me (I'm 34). We mat for coffee and chatted and such and it was decent, though nothing remarkable. At the end of it I asked if she'd like to get together again, and she said sure, but just "as friends" because somehow I "made her feel really old." I have no idea how I did this. Maybe it's because I like all sorts of music, movies, and books, and enjoy all sorts of things related to pop culture, and when it came to her discussing what she liked to read it was "Harlequin romance novels." All right, well it was nice of her to offer the friends thing, but it was another strike, and so we parted ways.

Third date, another older woman. Complete history buff and other sorts of things that didn't really equate totally with what I was looking for but, again, go out and see what happens because this is I what I paid for. We had a nice dinner, which I happily paid for again - and this gal actually ordered something and ate heartily - and then we went to her home and she wanted to watch Apollo 13, which she said she had already seen about 90 times. We chatted a bit more while the movie was playing, but again, nothing there at all made me want to do it again. We parted amicably.

So three dates, all of which with people who really didn't match up with my likes/dislikes/whatnot. Terrific. The other time has been sent either being closed out after getting halfway through the jumping through eHarmony hoops process, or at the beginning before anything occurred, or my closing other people out because they didn't interest me, or were miles and miles away even though I specified a 30 mile range. Then there were the drought periods which were magically fixed when I sent in feedback telling them how lousy their service was and how the pickings were slim. But even then, nothing came of any of it.

So I'm out a couple hundred bucks for nada. I've already cancelled my subscription, which finally expires in September. Congrats on making more cash through bullshit, guys. All I wanted was one good date. Just one.