I could give eHarmony 5 stars, since I met the person that I'm probably going to marry on it, but I believe in objective reviews, so it's only going to get 3 stars.

I've been on eHarmony 3 times in the past few years. The first time, I got nothing. To be fair, I lost a LOT of weight in the last couple of years, and I'm much cuter now than I used to be. Attractiveness is, unfortunately, a necessity for most people. I recognize this, so I can't hold it again eHarmony.

Now that I'm cute, I figured I would try again. The second time, I met someone off the website, but started dating someone else that I met at a wedding, so I stopped seeing the guy from eHarmony. To be honest, he was a nice guy, but there was no chemistry for me.

The most recent time, I met someone off the site within a week. He was in my first set of matches, and he seems to be perfect in every way (for me, at least).

So... let me give you the objective rundown on eHarmony. It's irritatingly slow and it's REALLY expensive. The best way to deal with the expensive part is to try to find a coupon that they email out. If you haven't been on the site before, you won't find one, probably. So... shell out the money for ONE MONTH. Then CANCEL before the second month (no, it's not hard... in fact, it's really easy... I'll get into that in a second). They will send you a coupon within a week. They are CONSTANTLY sending coupons. Then it's like $50 for 3 months, a WAY better deal.

About cancelling... I've NEVER had a problem. The 1 year, 6 month, and 3 month deals are non-renewable (at least, they used to be, and I believe they still are). That means if you sign up for one of those plans, you are stuck with it, but you won't have to pay more at the end of the time. If you sign up for a month, YOU WILL GET CHARGED EVERY MONTH. I see so many people complaining about this. IT'S LISTED ON THE WEBSITE WHEN YOU SIGN UP! Just be aware of that! It's not complicated.

Now... about the slow communication. There is really nothing you can do about it. It's ridiculously slow. You have to go through like 5 communication things before you get to write emails. Someone could easily lose interest after you've invested a fair amount of time responding to them. Just deal with it and move on to someone else.

You will get matched with people who aren't members. You won't know who those people are. Nothing you can do about it. Just try to open communication and hopefully they will respond. That's the only advice I have on this one.

I personally have no problem opening communication with guys. I opened it with my boyfriend now. He said he never had a girl do that before. I don't see what the problem is. If I thought someone was vaguely interesting, then I would give it a shot. If not, I would close them out. I had at least 30 people I was trying to communicate with. Of those people, I would say maybe 7 to 10 actually wrote me back. A couple just closed me out.

People will close you. It sucks, but it's true. I hate the "I just don't think the chemistry is there" reason. How the hell can anyone know that from reading a profile? I've closed people because they didn't fit my idea of religion (I'm not religious and I just can't be with someone who is REALLY into their religion). I would never tell someone there is no chemistry, however. I just use the "other" reason. It seems to be the nicest.

Now about matches... I think you really need to live in a metropolitan area if you want a lot of matches. Everytime I was on eHarmony, I had over 100 matches. I live in Southern California. Most of them were near me... a few were up to 120 miles away. Now, I don't like long distance relationships, but if it's someone perfect, I will give it a try. If you don't live in a large area, you're going to have problems on eHarmony. You will either need to look far and wide, or just deal with the few you get. Oh... and btw... it's not eHarmony's fault if you don't like how someone looks. When you pay for a service like this, you are taking a gamble. Sign up for a month and if you don't like it, cancel. If you do, cancel anyway, and then get the coupon so it's cheaper. So... gamble away, but please realize it IS a gamble, and don't blame eHarmony for its members.

So does eHarmony really set you up with people who are compatible with you? I have no idea. I haven't seen a difference between people I meet on the street and people from eHarmony. I think it takes time to really know. But then... what is compatibility? I've been asking myself that.

My boyfriend and I have nothing in common. I swear. Nothing. The only thing we have is similar taste in 80's music. He is a work-out freak. I had gastric bypass 2 1/2 years ago. He loves stupid comedy movies. I hate them. I'm a theatre freak. He has been to 2 musicals in his life... and one of them was only because I was in it. The list like that goes on and on and on. And yet... we get along perfectly. We want exactly the same things out of life. So... maybe there is something to this "compatibility." I don't know... I have no idea why we were matched, but it seems to work.

What I honestly think? I think it's luck. I think you could meet someone at a bar, or at the park, or whereever. I think this time I just got lucky. So... if you think you can afford it and want to GAMBLE (because that's all it is, like everything else in life), then go ahead and you might meet someone perfect for you.

If you go into it thinking that you will definitely meet the person your dreams, you will probably be sorely disappointed. Take it for what it is. It's a dating website. The main difference between eHarmony and Yahoo and Match is that the guys seem to be way more serious about relationships. It's time consuming and expensive, so it seems to weed out the non-serious guys. For that reason only, I recommend giving it a try.