After going on a bunch of dates with players and men interested only in one thing (I'm no prude but geez!) on match.com and yahoo personals, I decided to give eHarmony a try. Filled out the profile, got a few matches, but only a trickle. Most I tried to communicate with never answered (likely non-paying members), or would get to stage 2 or 3, only to never hear from them again. I let my membership lapse, and like others, got floods of interesting matches at that time. I closed them all out, as I was done with online dating, and got on with life.

Things settled down and for whatever reason I decided to try eHarmony once again. Looking for someone who wants a real relationship and isn't shallow, and figured the personality matching system would give me an edge. I signed up for the year deal, falling for their pitch to 'give it at least a year.' Okay, fine. I do know two people who met and married on eHarmony, so figured I'd try, too.

After a few months of eagerly trying to communicate with those matches that really caught my eye, I gave up. Most just closed me out as soon as I released my pic. I'm not going to win any beauty contests but I'm not butt-ugly, either. Heck, my pics got me rated between 7-8 on Hot or Not, so I can't be *that* bad. And the kicker? Lots of those who asked for pics and closed me right after getting them were friggin' bald and nothing to look at either!!

I now release my pic only to those I find interesting. I no longer initiate communication. Doesn't matter. Still get closed before getting to open communication, or closed shortly afterwards. To date (6 months into my subscription), I've NEVER even talked on the phone, let alone gone out on a date.

Yes, I've closed matches where I felt we were truly incompatible (politics, religious differences, nothing in common) but for most, even if they're not my physical ideal (balding, overweight, short, whatever) I figure that until I get to know them and meet them, how do I really know? I communicate with everyone who intitiates contact with me. But I find that the men I'm matched with go by appearance, or just don't want a single mom with kids (there is no baggage, ex and I remain friendly and civil, no drama).

I closed the match with the woman who had become a man (yes, they matched me with a transsexual, and not that I'm against people changing genders, it's just not who I want to date, sorry), and a guy who clearly lied about his age (he was nearly 60, not 46, as his profile claimed). Even being very open-minded gets me nowhere. I suppose I'm glad I learn how shallow these men are before meeting them, but is every man in America who I'm compatible with that shallow? Apparently, they are.

I will NOT be renewing nor recommending this service to others. Maybe it works better if you're younger and fitter and have no kids. But for the men in my age range that I'm looking for (40-55) I'm surprised at how shallow the men are. Get real.