This is too heart breaking hearing the sad stories of eharmony.

Success story... can you stand one more and some advice?

I joined eharmony Aug 2003.

I found the questionnaire gruelling but learned so much about myself including my right to have must haves and can't stands.

I don't make a great first impression because of shyness so found their questions great to ask using their format and then devised my own.

I received about three of four matches a week. Some closed on me before I even read their profile. I thought that was great that someone knew it would not work just based on what I wrote. It is better to know up front it will not work. I didn't feel bad that I was closed on. Afterall, why would I want to be with someone who did not want me?

Why did I close on many of the fellas I was matched with? Well, there were many reasons and all good I thought. 1. I was mobile and expected to move to where ever my man was so I looked at where they were living and whether I could really see myself living there. I was open to anywhere in US and Canada. There were very few places after researching on the web that I would not move. 2. Under "Five things I can't live without..." I had to close if they mentioned cats. I have an allergy to cats and would never expect anyone to give up these treasured members of their family for me. Also, if they said they could not live without their mom I thought it a little strange. 3. I closed files on anyone who did alot of sports all the time. Why? Because I am a klutz and am not super physically fit. I closed on some fabulous fellows who I know would not in the end be happy with me because I was not a good fit. I am not stunning, have average fitness and am an average gal. Some guys don't want someone to grow old with just someone their friends will envy them for having. 4. I closed when I knew some of our daily habits would not mesh such as I am an early bird, manage money carefully, like new and unusual foods, like to problem solve and believe in death do us part... 5. I closed on anyone who did not fill out the profile page. I needed something to work with.

I closed sometimes when the amount of matches I received were overwhelming. There seemed to be a flurry of them right after every advertising campaign. 30 in one day. Too much.

I was matched Oct 1, 2003 (I signed for a year expecting not to meet anyone for about a year) to someone in Nebraska who travelled in their job. We met face-to-face for the first time Jan 2004 and we were married Dec 2004. He had about 68 matches in all, had signed up for three months, and sent the exact same questions to everyone to help compare because there were somethings he was set on. I am thrilled that the one thing he was set on was me.

We are very happy.

But one thing to know is be serious about what you want but be flexible and open minded as there is more than one lid for every pot. The road will not be smooth but you will learn alot about someone's character during the bad times.

Be clear about who you are too. Be clear on what you are bringing to the table. If you are only bringing good looks and a pay cheque you better know that a woman/man of quality will not think that is good enough. Looks fade and we can all loose our jobs in these changing times. Many women don't expect you to still have all your hair and we expect to earn a living shoulder to shoulder with you.

Real abiding love stuff.... the forever stuff of legend.

Never give up as he or she is out there. Put as much work and thought into the mate you want for the rest of your life as you do in choosing a job, a car or a dog.

Be the person you would want to be matched to and you can't go wrong.

More than enough said.

:)